


Mass Effect : Convergent ~ ALTF5

by ALTF5



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:26:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALTF5/pseuds/ALTF5
Summary: Mass Effect Trilogy plus extra stuffs experienced by an OC and Femshep, mostly canon. Rated M : for sections of detailed mental illness and trauma aimed at helping those suffering from depression and anxiety, including myself. Possible smut but I will also provide a clean version. Violence occasionally ramps up. Coarse language. A laugh here and there. Fun for the whole family.





	1. Introduction

Hey everyone! Just a disclaimer! I do tend to drone on and on and on and there’s no one here to stop me so read this at your own risk! This is also a very casual message so forgive any lacking spelling or grammar. On a more serious note, if you’re like me and suffering from depression, anxiety, or any form of other mental illness please consider reading the rest of this. No pressure or anything I’m just trying to help in a way that was never presented to me! PLEASE just consider reading on at the very least.

Also if you’re just some rando looking for another rando to talk to then I’m your guy! Shoot me a message anytime I’m always in the market for new friendos!

Contact Info! Message me anytime! I'll reply ASAP. The DMs on this site are somewhat unreliable so no promises with any messages here.

Email : Do people still use this? Anyway ALTF5productions@gmail.com

FanFiction.net : ALT F5

Facebook Page : ALTF5 Productions / @ALTF5productions / Honestly just search ALTF5 Productions in Facebook and look for Revan

Tumblr : ALTF5 Productions / Again just search altf5productions and look for Revan

Reddit : ALTF5productionz / It might be listed as NSFW. I dunno look for Revan

Xbox : ALT FS / Probably playing Mass Effect or Dark Souls

Steam : ALTF5 / Not gonna be very active here until I replace my PC

Alright here we go! I’m Carter! I’ve had people close to me suffer from depression and mental illness most of my life. Not only did I have to watch them go through it and feel powerless to help them, but I’ve been suffering from depression for the last couple of years as well. Let’s just say I was fine until I started the third year of my bachelor’s degree and student life got to me.

Fan fiction was something I discovered a couple of months ago and I really did not realize how much I needed it until I found it. I mainly use it for Mass Effect - cuz if you’re like me you absolutely LOVED the games but regardless of how many times you created another Shepard in the first game and made it all the way to the end of the trilogy (yeah I said TRILOGY. But thats a story for another day. Please don’t hate me) you’d still feel empty inside with a thirst for more. But creating 12 more Shepards and sinking another 1200 hours into the trilogy and reading the books still can’t quench your thirst. That was me. After playing as femshep and romancing Garrus about 6 times I really wanted a more satisfying story for that power couple. Well I found it here. Pretty much anything I wanted that the games didn’t give me, talented and amazing individuals found a way to give it to me in the form of writing. Like I said, I didn’t realize how much I needed this stuff until I found it.

Okay time to be SERIOUSLY SERIOUS. For all those reading this who are like me, I’m gonna outline what I perceive our lives to be like. We’re depressed or suffering from some form of mental illness. But we’re stubborn and refuse to deal with it. To borrow a line from Peebee, if you ignore a problem for long enough 9 times outta 10 it’ll solve itself. We’re either too proud, too ignorant or just too stupid to get help for ourselves for an infinite number of reasons. So we just look at memes, or play video games or watch tv or go on facebook, friggin anything to make us forget we’re not okay, even if it’s only for a few moments. We dodge and swat questions away like “are you sure you’re okay” and “do you want help” and just reply with “don’t worry I’m fine” because we don’t want to worry or bother other people with our problems. We just want a way to deal with and fix our problems that does not require interaction with other people. An ex girlfriend of mine found a way.

She found that by both reading and writing about characters who suffered from similar problems we ourselves had, it was a subtle way of venting our problems. It never cured or got rid of our illness, but it definitely made the day to day stuff more bearable. Reading about a character who suffers from depression and anxiety made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I didn’t feel like an outcast or like I had to pretend to be okay. Another cheesy line : I felt okay to NOT be okay. It was something I wish I found long ago. So I’m taking this opportunity to share it with you, whoever you are.

I’m presenting you with the option I never had. If you get a chance to read some of my work, please keep in mind I wrote it for people like YOU. For people like US. So that people like YOU wouldn’t suffer in the same ways I did. I mean this in the most serious manner. If there is ever a point where you feel like nobody would miss you if you were gone, STOP. You’re wrong. You’ll ALWAYS be wrong about that. At least 3 people in this world would miss you at any given time. I promise you that. You can also add me to the list. I care about you and I’m always a short message away. Shoot me a message anytime.


	2. Prologue

Prologue 

 

Eden Prime

 

Slade Jordan was a name everybody on Eden Prime knew very well. The man was an outcast, pariah, social reject, and these were just some of the NICER names he was called; more often to his face than behind his back. In Slade’s mind however, the worst name he had ever been called in his life was “biotic”. He absolutely despised the word, not only due to the fact that the entire colony always spat the word at him, but he was indeed a biotic and there was nothing he could do to change that. Slade would have given anything to change the fact that everyone automatically shunned him purely because of who he was. He did not choose to be a biotic, and receiving verbal abuse on a daily basis eventually breaks the mind. A lesser mind would have shattered a long time ago, succumbing to the constant hatred and segregation. Slade did not have a lesser mind and was determined not to let anyone break him; however, he was not invulnerable to abuse. Regardless of how strong he pushed himself to be, he had still allowed the abuse to make him feel different. He had still allowed the abuse to stop him from using any of his biotic potential, even to do something as simple as lift a glass of water. He had still allowed the abuse to make him wish he was never born. He had still allowed the abuse to give rise to his suicidal depression. The only thing that kept Slade going was his iron will and perseverance to ensure nobody would break him; unfortunately, as much as he tried to deny it, Slade WAS broken. 

 

_God damn it. DAMN IT. Not again._

 

It was another average day on Eden Prime, and Slade somehow did not find it surprising when he heard a metallic slam behind him. He turned around to look at the entrance to the warehouse and saw that the large steel doors were now shut.

 

_For fuck’s sake, this is getting old. Nevermind, this IS old. This got old after the 500th time they did it. Now it’s just a lazy fucking prank._

 

Slade knew he only had a few moments before the warehouse Virtual Intelligence detected the warehouse was locked and would begin the process of powering down the building. He briskly walked over to the large doors knowing with full confidence that it was DEFINITELY locked. Slade hit the pressure release button and was met with silence. He knew his efforts would be in vain but he reached up to the manual override and activated it; alas, nothing happened. Slade knew there was no point yelling. The concrete that encased the warehouse was too thick for anyone to hear him - not that anyone would listen - but it worked to his benefit as well because he could not hear the laughter and taunts either. 

 

_It was worth a try. Damn it why do I keep doing that? Hoping something will be different every time. I know it won’t be. Well except for that one time it worked. Pfft, definitely a one time thing. I’m definitely not that lucky._

 

Slade tiredly sighed and walked over to the corner of the warehouse next to the VI mainframe and did not even react when the lights shut off halfway there. This had happened so many times that he was completely immune to the shock of sudden darkness. Slade arrived at the VI console next to the mainframe and booted it up. A blue hologram of a man in gentleman’s attire manifested itself in front of him. 

 

“How may I assist you?” the VI asked politely. Slade flinched; not because of the appearance of the VI, but due to the fact he was shocked to hear a kind, warm and soothing voice that he was so unaccustomed to hearing. In fact, the VI was the only thing on the entire planet that actually spoke to Slade without managing to insult him in the process.

 

“Turn on the lights”, Slade ordered. “Please.” 

 

“I am sorry Mr. Jordan, I am unable to do that”, replied the VI. “The system admin has labeled you as a ‘biotic freak’ and I am unable to comply to any of your commands. However, I may perform basic commands built into my operating system. Would you like me to outline precisely what you may command me to do?”

 

_Again, why the fuck do I keep hoping? I already knew word for word what he was going to tell me. I’m an idiot, just cuz the update thing worked once doesn’t mean it’ll work again. I AM NOT THAT LUCKY._

 

The VI hologram shut off as Slade walked into the corner behind the mainframe, plunging him into darkness once again. This had happened so many times that he just accepted situations like this as an eventuality and decided to prepare accordingly instead of crying and complaining. Only once had the VI actually obeyed Slade’s commands and not only managed to shock him by opening the warehouse doors, but also shocked the entire staff. As Slade ran out of the warehouse he was met by laughs and insults.

 

“How the hell did you manage to get out?! I programmed the VI not to listen to biotic freaks!” Powell had yelled. It had never happened again after that one occasion. Powell had made sure never to let the VI listen to Slade. Eventually - after countless times of being locked in the warehouse by Powell or one of the others - Slade discovered if the VI program was ever updated, it temporarily lost all programming changes and would indeed listen to Slade; however, Powell would quickly become aware of this and reprogram the VI immediately after an update. Slade apparently always had hope that if he was lucky enough, the VI would update without Powell finding out. Unfortunately, Slade did not receive a stroke of luck after the first incident and was always locked in the pitch black warehouse.

 

Slade reached into the corner behind the VI mainframe and pulled a small backpack out. He placed it on the floor in front of him and began to unpack it. Slade knew whenever he was locked in - which was almost everyday - he would be stuck inside the warehouse for a couple of hours until the nightshift arrived to open the doors. It was not by choice, they simply needed to get into the warehouse. The night shift was not any happier to see Slade than the day shift who locked him inside was. Slade pulled a thin blanket out of the backpack, followed by a worn cushion, a bottle of water, a ration bat, a flashlight and a small book. He placed everything on the floor around him except the book, which he treated with the utmost care. It was a novel his mother gave to him after he was old enough to read it himself and no longer needed her to read it to him. It was called _The Dragon Age_ and it had been read so many times that it looked centuries old and on the verge of crumbling into dust. The hardcover binding was so worn out and scratched anyone else would not be able to make out the illustration of the dragon on the front. Slade took the flashlight in his other hand and activated it, using his newfound light to gaze upon his most prized procession. He did not have an omnitool - this was a colony which meant he would have to requisition one - and nobody on the planet would ever give him his own omnitool. Slade had no access to the extranet or any other form of electronic entertainment, which meant this book was his only form of passing the time without staring into the dark abyss around him, counting the seconds that passed by. Slade opened the book and longingly gazed down at the inside of the front cover. 

 

_For my irreplaceable son, Slade. I give this book to thee so that you may always chase dragons and magic. Never allow anyone to tell you what is real and what is not. You must decide for yourself. I love you now and always. - Mom_

 

Slade had learned over countless years of emotional torture not to cry, as it only made everyone more happy to see him in pain. He learned never to display anything that could make him appear weak because it would only fuel the hatred his spectators already had. This small message from his late mother was the only thing left that could make him cry. He was always careful to guide his tears away from the page. Slade could not imagine the pain of losing the only piece of paper left in the galaxy that still bore his mother’s immaculate handwriting. He proceeded to read the novel he had read so many times before, not only savouring the excellent literature but his memories of his mother as well. Slade knew by the time he read the entire book twice, the nightshift would be scheduled to arrive and open the warehouse.  

 

Slade closed his favourite book after reading it cover to cover twice and packed away all his belongings back into the backpack. He hid it back into his hiding place in the corner because he knew if he ever walked outside with it, he would be attacked and robbed. Slade could not even remember how he snuck it into the warehouse in the first place. He sat down on the cool floor and waited for the night shift to arrive. An abnormal amount of time passed that made Slade uneasy. 

 

_Weird. They’re taking their sweet time. They should have been here by now._

 

Slade called out to the VI, but there was no answer. Slade was about to call out again, but he fell to the ground in agony before he could get a word out. Excruciating pain penetrated his skull to the point where he was instinctively banging his fists against his head in a vain attempt to knock himself unconscious. His mind was completely engulfed by all consuming agony and all he could hear was an ear piercing screech. Slade could not think, he could not feel and he could not talk over the obnoxiously loud ringing in his ears. He writhed in agony for a few more moments that felt like an eternity, then went limp and knew no more.


	3. Act I : Chapter I

Act I : I

 

Eden Prime 

 

Slade’s ears were still ringing and his head was still spinning from the pain when he regained consciousness. He tried to stand up but immediately winced and regretted that decision. Slade laid down for a few moments to recuperate and his mind slowly regained its function.

 

_What the fuck was that?! What the fuck was that noise?! I swear to God if this is some kinda prank I might… shit nevermind. What would I do anyway? If I really wanted to do something, I would have already done it._

 

Slade finally rose to his feet, but every fibre of his body screamed in protest. He wondered if he had just suffered from a seizure or some other medical condition he was not aware of. The noise was gone but so was Slade’s sense of time. He had no clue how long he had been unconscious. He turned around and walked over to the VI mainframe and tried to boot up the console, but was greeted with absolutely nothing except blank screens. Slade inspected the mainframe to find that it had no power supplied to it. He started to feel more tense and anxious. Whatever was going on outside definitely wasn’t normal or good. Slade grabbed his backpack from its hiding spot and pulled out the flashlight. He turned it on and ran over to the large steel doors. 

 

_I don’t know how extensive the power outage is, but if the power to the doors are also cut then the emergency override should open them. I really hope Powell didn’t fuck the doors up so badly that even the fail-safe commands won’t work for me._

 

Slade reached up and activated the emergency override, sighing a huge breath of relief as he heard the magnetic locks hiss and disengage. The huge doors slowly screeched open and he stepped outside only to stop dead in his tracks. The once beautiful landscape in front of the warehouse now lay in burning ruins. The devastation had spared nothing, everything was either destroyed or engulfed in flames. Slade just stood there for a while, trying to believe what he was seeing.

 

_Maybe I DID have a seizure. Is this real? Or am I hallucinating? I think I was only in there for a couple of hours. Is all this really possible?_

 

Slade finally decided to move and took a few steps closer towards the shuttle tram area. He climbed some steps then froze as he heard voices. One he recognized as Powell.

 

_I can’t believe I’m actually GLAD to hear that voice. At least someone other than me is still around._

 

It had just occurred to Slade that he hadn’t seen anyone around, not even a body or burned corpse. He decided to head over towards Powell’s voice. Even if it wasn’t a welcome conclusion, being around other people might be better than being alone; especially if the trouble wasn’t over. Slade ran towards the voices but as soon as Powell saw him he immediately stopped mid sentence and pointed over at Slade. 

 

“IT WAS HIM” Powell shrieked. “HE DID ALL OF THIS! KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!” Slade now REALLY wished he had stayed in the warehouse. 

 

/

 

Commander Zoey Shepard looked over at the person Powell was pointing at. He was accusing a slim, dark skinned human male who stood a few inches taller than her. His short, messy black hair was thicker in the front near his forehead and stood up at several angles. He had piercing, fierce green eyes that radiated a look of fear. His clothes were very worn out - almost as if they were the only set of clothes he owned - and were one laundry day away from disintegrating. Shepard suspected he was around her age - perhaps a little bit younger - but looked as if his life was exhausting and drained ten years away from his otherwise flawless face. She couldn’t help but feel pity and remorse for the man. Shepard already did not trust Powell, but after his accusation she trusted him even less and suspected mild lunacy from him. 

 

“You’re telling me this man destroyed the entire colony?” Shepard questioned. “The ENTIRE colony? By himself? Without a weapon? That’s what you’re telling me?”

 

“WHO ELSE COULD IT BE?!” Powell roared. “I locked him in the fucking warehouse and he somehow got out! He must have destroyed the place to get out! Don’t let the son of a bitch fool you! He’s dangerous! He’s a fucking biotic! A BIOTIC! The whole colony had been waiting for him to do something like this! He was just a fucking disaster waiting to happen! I told everyone we should’ve just put him down! NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! They should’ve listened to me!”

 

Shepard just stood there half listening to Powell’s outburst and did not take her eyes off the other man. He was trembling and his eyes darted from her, to Ashley and Kaidan, over to Powell then back to her. She stared into his eyes. They were full of pain and pleading to her for help. That was the moment Shepard realized not only did she not believe Powell, but she also despised him. She turned around and was about to raise her voice over Powell’s rambling, but Kaidan beat her to it.

 

“So, you hate biotics huh?” Kaidan asked with a hint of snark in his voice. Shepard could not help but smile mischievously under her helmet. 

 

“Not just me!” Powell answered. “The whole God damned colony does too! They’d be right here pointing fingers at that freak too if they weren’t all dead! Like I said, we were all waiting for him to do something like this. Maybe now you soldiers will actually listen to us!”

 

Shepard raised an eyebrow and looked over at Ashley.

 

“Williams?” Shepard inquired. “Is he referring to you?”

 

“I think so ma’am”, Ashley answered. “We had a couple of colonists stop by the barracks every now and then demanding we arrest a biotic. We didn’t take it seriously because they had no proof the biotic did anything wrong. Hell, half the shit they claimed the biotic would do were stuff you would’t even see in Blasto movies. We just started ignoring them after a while.”

 

“SEE?!” Powell interrupted. “IF YOU STUPID SOLDIERS HAD LISTENED TO US, YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT AS MUCH AS HIS!” Ashley was about to retort but Shepard raised a hand to stop her. Shepard then used her biotics to lift a crate over Powell’s head and placed it gently in front of him. Powell’s eyes widened with horror and he took a few steps back, away from Shepard and the crate. Kaidan then used his biotics to move the crate closer to Powell. Shepard could easily tell he enjoyed the look on Powell’s face as urine trickled down and pooled at Powell’s feet. Powell soon fainted and collapsed into his own urine puddle. Shepard heard Ashley mutter something under her breath, but was not listeningand removed her helmet as she walked over to the frightened man.

 

/

 

Slade now had absolutely no doubt in his mind that this was either a dream or hallucination. Not only had Powell collapsed in a puddle of his own urine, but TWO other biotics had appeared in front of him. The biotic in grey and red armour walked towards him. Slade did not see any insignia on her armour to distinguish her as Alliance and had no idea who’s side she was on. The only distinguishing feature he DID notice was an N7 engraved into her chest plate. She removed her helmet and fiery red hair flowed out to drape over her beautiful face. She also had bold, piercing green eyes that immediately found his. Slade kept her gaze for a brief moment, then immediately tore his eyes away from her and stared down at his feet. He then saw her boots stop in front of his feet and immediately felt the urge to look back up. She had beautiful fair skin that was freckled with dark red spots. Slade was utterly stunned at how beautiful she was, but her green eyes found his again and he had no choice but to look back into them. Her silky, smooth, confident voice broke his involuntary trance.

 

“Please don’t be afraid”, she said. “My name is Zoey and I PROMISE I will not hurt you. This is Kaidan and Ashley. I PROMISE they will not hurt you either. May I please know your name?” Slade flinched again. He knew none of what he was experiencing was real, but the woman had talked to him in such a soft, soothing voice that he was too shocked to answer. Being addressed in such a polite manner by another human being was incredibly foreign to him. He just kept her gaze and did not say anything. Slade expected her to lose her patience and begin yelling at him, demanding that he answer her question; but instead she patiently kept his gaze and waited for him to answer. After a few moments he finally had the courage to talk.

 

“Slade”. He had answered in such a hushed voice that he did not expect her to have heard him, but he was now far too frightened to repeat himself. Slade would much rather stand in silence until the woman lost her temper and shouted at him for answers. He could deal with hostility - after all, he dealt with hostility for the majority of his life - it was familiar to him and he understood how to handle it; but the woman actually seemed genuine. She actually sounded like she cared and respected him as a person, which was something Slade had absolutely no idea how to handle. The woman paused for a minute then opened her mouth and Slade expected to be hit with a brick wall of screaming.

 

“I’m very sorry”, she began with the same silky smooth voice. “But I couldn’t hear you. Would you please repeat that? I promise I’ll listen extra close this time.” The excessive kindness she was showing caught Slade off guard once again.

 

_You know what? To hell with it. If I’m going to hallucinate, I may as well enjoy this while I can. When’s the next time someone is gonna be this nice to me?_

 

Slade threw all his caution to the wind and gathered up his courage to answer the woman. He did not know if this was real, but he no longer cared.

 

“Slade ma’am”, he answered with so much confidence, he almost did not recognize his own voice. “Slade Jordan. I’m the stock and inventory manager at the dock warehouse.” He paused for a minute before continuing, thinking hard before opening his mouth again. “Are you really a biotic?”

 

“Yup”, she chirped. “So is Kaidan over there. What about you Slade? Are you actually a biotic, or was Powell just as crazy as he looked?” Slade thought long and hard about the question he was asked. He was not sure how he wanted to answer the woman. He did not owe her the truth and he was perfectly okay with denying the accusation Powell made against him.

 

_Remember, this isn’t real. I don’t have to be a biotic if I don’t want to. Is it really lying if none of this is actually happening?_

 

“No ma’am” Slade answered with a hint of happiness. He was glad to finally be able to deny his reality, even for a moment. “I’m not a biotic. We’ve never had a biotic on Eden Prime before, let alone two of them at the same time. Powell was always a little too far off the deep end. I would’t take him too seriously if I were you.”

 

The woman silently held his gaze for a moment, causing Slade to feel a sudden nudge of regret and fear. Her eyes were green brick walls that did not betray any of her thoughts. Slade wondered if she figured out he was lying and she was contemplating how best to punish him. He braced for the worst when she finally spoke.

 

“I already had trouble trusting Powell”, she started with a slight tone of seriousness Slade had not heard before. “And that was BEFORE he started harassing you and Ashley. Now I can conclude I definitely do not trust him, nor do I like the man. Is he like that to everyone? Or just you?” Slade was about to answer when the other woman spoke.

 

“Sorry to interrupt ma’am”, Ashley blurted out with a hint of urgency in her voice. “But if the Geth are here for the beacon, we really need to get moving. For all we know, they might already have it!” The red haired woman finally broke her gaze with Slade and seemed to remember something she forgot. 

 

“That’s……actually a really good point!” she childishly exclaimed. “Alright we better get moving!” she then looked back at Slade. “Slade we need to get to the spaceport. We’re looking for the beacon that was found here. Do you know anything about it? We don’t actually know where it is but the spaceport is our next best bet. Anything you could tell us would be much appreciated.” 

 

“I’m sorry”, Slade replied. “I actually don’t know anything about that. Nobody tells me anything. This is the first time I’ve even heard about a beacon.” Slade paused for a minute and gathered all the courage he had left. “But I do know how to get to the spaceport”, he continued. “I’ve only been there a couple of times, but I think I can take you there. There’s a tram that’ll take us straight there but I don’t know if it still has power. We may need to resupply power to the trams first, but I would say it’s your best option right now. I kinda figured out you’re in a rush, so I would say walking to the spaceport is out of the question.” Slade took a deep breath. He was absolutely shocked. All three people in front of him were all looking at him with intent. They had actually hinged on his every word without interrupting him to insult him, laugh at him or otherwise abuse him just for opening his mouth. Slade also realized he was out of breath, he had NEVER talked for this long before. The red haired woman answered him.

 

“That would be very helpful Slade”, she said. “Are you sure you want to come with us and help? It might be dangerous and I want this to be your choice. I don’t want to bring you against your will.” Slade nodded, obviously still under the impression this was a hallucination. 

 

“Alright, thank you Slade. We’ll lead the way, please stay behind us and give is directions. We can protect you and I’m not sure how many Geth are actually here.” Slade immediately realized he did not know what she was talking about.

 

“Geth?” Slade inquired worryingly. “What are Geth?” The red haired woman raised her eyebrows and the other two soldiers just looked at each other with bewildered expressions. 

 

“Slade…..do you know why the colony is in ruins?” she asked.

 

_Oh hell no. Please don’t do this to me._

 

Slade was trembling by the time he gathered the courage to answer.

 

“You mean…… this is REAL? Like…..this is really happening? This isn’t a dream and I’m not hallucinating?”

 

The red haired woman just blinked and stared blankly at Slade, soon to be joined by the other two. They all stared at him with an expression of mixed disbelief and pity. 

 

_No. No, no, no, no, no. Do NOT do this to me._

 

“This is real isn’t it?” Slade asked, already dreading the answer he knew he was about to receive. The other man behind the woman gave him a reassuring smile and a sympathetic chuckle.

 

“So…… are you still coming with us?” he teased. “It’s not too late to change your mind. It really does appear like you have no idea what you’re about to get yourself into.”

 

_He’s right. I really DON’T have any idea what I’m getting myself into. This isn’t a hallucination anymore. This is REAL. I could seriously get hurt, or die._

 

Slade stood in silence for a moment, weighing his options but came to a satisfying conclusion before long.

 

_Let’s be honest. What exactly do I have to lose? Do I really care if I live or die? If I don’t go with them, what am I gonna do? Sit in a pile of rubble and wait for someone to help me? Nobody helped me before, why would that change?_

 

It did not take long for Slade to decide. These were the first people in years who actually treated him with even a shred of respect. If he died, he would rather die helping someone who genuinely smiled at him.

 

“Follow me”, Slade ordered as he confidently stepped towards the trams, beckoning the group to come with him. “I’ll lead the way.”

 


	4. Act I : Chapter II

Act I : II

 

Eden Prime 

 

Slade Jordan was flabbergasted that he was somehow still alive. He had successfully led the alliance soldiers all the way to their prize: the beacon that now towered over them. They had survived timed demolition explosives - which would have obliterated the entire spaceport, if not the entire colony - and a small army of Geth. The adrenaline coursing through his body from the last firefight was finally wearing off. Slade did not participate in any of the skirmishes along the way, he simply hid behind walls and crates as per Commander Shepard’s orders. It was strange: he clearly did not care if he lived or died, but she seemed to care more than anything for his personal safety. She would even put her own safety at risk by running out of cover to greet a hail of plasma bullets, sprint closer to the hostile robots and proceed to dismantle them with a barrage of bullets and biotics; all for the sake of distracting the Geth from finding Slade’s hiding spot. Kaidan and Ashley were not so dramatic with their altruistic endeavours to protect him, but he could tell they were also going out of their way to keep him safe. Whenever he heard a heap of metal collapse in his vicinity, Slade knew it was because one of them had just destroyed a Geth trying to sneak up on him. He was confused. Slade was still unsure whether he actually WANTED to die, but nobody in his life had ever worked so hard just to keep him alive. He decided he did not want all their efforts to be in vain - especially Shepard who was obviously trying the hardest - so he buried his idea of dying into the deep subconscious of his mind and focused on trying to stay alive. The group now turned their attention to the glowing green tower in front of them.

 

“Well”, Slade began. “I got you here. I hope it’s everything you thought it would be cuz I will DEFINITELY not be doing it again.” Shepard was wearing her helmet but he could tell she smiled underneath it. 

 

“Come on!” laughed Kaidan. “Don’t tell me you didn’t have at least a LITTLE bit of fun! Next time we’ll even get you a rifle so you can join in!” Slade laughed, but more out of exhaustion and adrenaline than because he actually found it funny. Shepard opened a comm link and walked away from the beacon with Ashley while Kaidan instead approached the beacon. Before Kaidan could react, the beacon released a small pulse and began to pull him towards it with an invisible force. Kaidan tried his best to pull himself away but the now activated beacon refused to release its victim and continued to drag him. Slade was about to shout for help but Shepard had already sprinted forward and grabbed Kaidan, immediately throwing him backwards. Slade and Ashley sprinted toward the commotion as Shepard was lifted off the ground and now hovered in mid-air. Kaidan reached out to grab the Commander but Ashley grabbed him and pulled him back.

 

“NO!” she yelled. “Don’t touch her! It’s too dangerous! We have no idea what’s going on!”

 

“We can’t just do nothing!” Kaidan snapped and struggled in her grip. “What if we can-

 

Kaidan was interrupted as the beacon suddenly exploded, blowing all of them backwards. Slade caught sight of the Commander’s body as she hit the ground, moments before he also hit the ground and lost consciousness. 


	5. Act I : Chapter III

Act I : III

 

SSV Normandy 

 

Slade Jordan opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by both an annoyingly painful headache, and an uncomfortable bed. He slowly sat up in the bed only to realize that it was not a bed, but a medical cot. Confusion slowly set in but he did not have a long time to think before a voice broke through his grogginess. 

 

“Do not be afraid”, said a woman with a polished, sophisticated accent. “My name is Karin Chakwas. You are safe inside a medical bay and I am the doctor in charge of making sure you are healthy. No need to worry.” Slade’s vision finally cleared and he saw an elderly lady with neat, silver hair wearing a lab coat standing next to him. He made another attempt to move but was silently persuaded to be still by the Doctor as she placed a gentle, but firm hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Young man”, she began with her gentle, posh voice. “Please refrain from moving. Unless I am mistaken, you have no urgent matters to attend to. Why not relax? I will be happy to answer any questions you may have. I am sure you have plenty.” Through a mixture of aching pain and exhaustion, Slade agreed and ceased attempting to stand up. He asked the first question that came to mind.

 

“Why is everyone being so nice to me?” Slade demanded, perhaps sounding more rude than he intended. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so ungrateful. I’m just confused.” The Doctor’s eyebrows furrowed and she gave him a questioning look.

 

“Why would you ask that?” she asked curiously. “While we are on the subject, to whom exactly are you referring to? Would anyone have a reason to NOT be nice to you?” Slade bit his tongue and restrained himself from answering the question; his first question had already given too much away. The Doctor noticed his hesitation and activated her omnitool, pressing a few buttons without taking her eyes off him. Slade heard a soft hiss from behind and turned to look for the source. The Doctor’s voice brought his eyes back to her.

 

“Do not be alarmed”, she reassured. “I just closed the door and engaged the lock. You are my patient and there is an unspoken promise between us. Anything you tell me will always be for my ears only. I simply closed the doors as a method to solidify my claim that anything you say will not leave this room. On that note, you have my word.” She then brought over a chair and sat down so she and Slade were now at eye level together. 

 

“I have several questions for you”, she asserted. “However, I shall only ask them when you are finished asking yours. Please continue, Slade. Also, if you ever need to refer to me, please call me Karin.” Slade did not find it difficult to ask his next question:

 

“How do you know my name?” Slade asked.

 

“Lieutenant Alenko, or Kaidan as you may know him, brought you here along with Chief Williams”, Karin explained. “They told me your name and it was not difficult to track down your medical records. You were born on Eden Prime which is a registered Alliance colony. By law, all citizens either born or emigrated must be processed, which means you must have a medical record. If you did not have one, you would be considered an illegal addition to the colony; however, you DO have a medical record so there is no point in asking if you are an illegal colonist.” Slade’s throat was now dry with fear. 

 

“If you have my medical record…” Slade cautiously began. “Then you know about…my condition. Don’t you?” Karin gave him another puzzled look.

 

“I have read your entire profile and I have no idea what you mean”, she answered. “Do you have a medical condition I am unaware of that is not in your record?”

 

_Oh thank God. She doesn’t know I’m a biotic. It must not be in my record._

 

Slade breathed a sigh of relief, which was immediately noticed by the Doctor.

 

“Slade”, she prodded. “I am afraid I must ask what ‘condition’ you are referring to. Your medical record has not been updated in over fifteen years, which essentially means you have not seen a doctor in fifteen years. When you were brought here and I was sure you were in a stable condition, I conducted multiple tests and procedures to compensate for the fifteen years you missed. You are now ‘caught up’ so they say. Now, please enlighten me. What condition are you referring to, and how did you possibly get away with living in a colony without a single medical examination in fifteen plus years? You are a biotic, which means you actually required more attention than an average person to ensure proper brain development. Why was there no record of any brain and biotic examination?” Slade had suddenly stopped listening. His mind was now going at a million miles an hour. Karin Chakwas KNEW he was a biotic, and yet she was being NICE to him. Similar to Commander Shepard, she showed him genuine compassion and made him actually believe she cared about him. Not a single insult or taunt escaped her lips and she had plenty of time to come up with one. Slade’s stunned expression must have been obvious because Karin now looked worried.

 

“Slade?” she asked. “Are you alright?” Slade snapped out of it and was brought back to reality. 

 

“You knew?” Slade started. “You knew I was a biotic this whole time? And you still wanted to help me? Why? Just…..why?” Karin looked at him with a troubled expression and it was a while before she said anything. Once again she activated her omnitool and her voice echoed around the room.

 

“Attention Normandy crew”, she announced over the intercom. “This is Doctor Chakwas. I will be preoccupied for the next few hours. Please refrain from disturbing me unless it is a medical emergency. The medbay will remained locked and off limits unless in the event of previously mentioned medical emergency. Thank you. That is all.” She turned off her omnitool and looked deep into Slade’s eyes.

 

“Slade Jordan”, she said in a very serious tone which scared Slade. “I want you to tell me everything about your life. Everything. Especially everything that has occurred over the past fifteen years while you were not seeing a doctor. I already know this is going to be difficult for you and I understand completely. This is not a command. I am not forcing you to tell me anything. However, I am still the doctor in charge of you and you will not be permitted to leave this medbay until you tell me what I wish to know. If you need food or water I will have it brought to you. Bathroom breaks will be at your leisure but there is a bathroom in this medbay and you will not be leaving. You may begin when you are ready.” Karin stopped talking and just looked at him. Slade knew she was serious, he really was not going anywhere until she got what she wanted. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” Slade questioned with a slight hint of betrayal. He thought she was going to help him, instead she began an interrogation. 

 

“Because, Slade”, Karin replied in a motherly, nurturing tone. “I suspect you have deep, deep emotional and psychological trauma. As your doctor, I CANNOT ignore this. It might be difficult, but you must tell me what I want to know. I would not give you such an ultimatum if I saw another option.” she then reached forward and held his hand. Slade recoiled at the physical contact. Every single nerve in his body seemed to be on fire. Nobody had ever given him such a nurturing form of physical contact since his mother died. It had been so long since he had experienced anything like this that Slade did not know how to react, other than attempt to push Karin’s hand away and try to break her grip. Slade could not explain to himself why his brain was going haywire and he seemed to hyperventilate, but the sudden physical contact was causing him to slowly go insane and he had no idea why. Slade curled his other hand into a fist and prepared to punch Karin. He knew for a fact he would regret it - she had been nothing but kind and sympathetic towards him - but he would find a way to apologize. As Slade raised his fist he abruptly stopped and realized Karin’s eyes had filled with water, and she was on the brink of fresh tears. He immediately lowered his fist and prepared a barrage of apologies. The hurricane of confusion, anxiety and indescribable fury swirling inside his head suddenly didn’t matter to him anymore, but Karin spoke first.

 

“I am so very sorry, Slade”, Karin’s voice was starting to break and became slightly hoarse. “But I needed a way to prove just how badly you needed help. Your reaction to physical contact, intimate or otherwise, just solidifies my suspicions that you have overwhelming mental trauma. Please, Slade. Please let me help you. Just talk to me. That’s all you need to do. I know you will not believe me, but I do care about you and I do want to help you.”

 

Slade looked down at this trembling hand, which was still encased by Karin’s gloved hand. She reminded him of his mother, which was a first; nobody - not once - had ever reminded him of his mother. Slade did not know what came over him, but he could not help himself from trusting her and immediately began blurting out his entire life’s story: The day he and his parents found out he was a biotic, the day his father abandoned the family, the day his mother took her own life, the years of abuse he endured from the colony, and every single other painful moment he forced himself to relive. When Slade was finally finished, he was drenched in sweat and shaking to the point where his bodily tremors actually exhausted him. Karin had not released his hand through the entire narrative, and he could see he had soaked her glove with his sweat.

 

“I’m sorry” Slade said as he finally broke Karin’s grip. “I didn’t mean to get your glove all-

 

“Slade Jordan”, Karin sobbed through a broken voice. “Don’t you dare apologize to me for such a trivial thing. You’re the last person in this galaxy who would owe an apology.” Slade finally looked up at Karin to see her crying. He immediately felt a pang of guilt.

 

“Ignore me”, Karin said as she looked away and wiped her face with her sleeve. “A medical professional is not supposed to lose control like this. It is unacceptable. Please do not tell anyone about this.” She laughed quietly to herself and Slade could not help but smile. Karin composed herself and once again became the prim and proper doctor Slade had met when he awoke in the medbay. 

 

“Thank you”, she said. “I know that was not easy for you, but the healing process may only begin after you take the first step, which you just did. Alright, allow me to explain the situation Slade. First and foremost, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your biotic potential. I do not care what your entire colony had to say on the matter, but you are not there anymore. You are here with the Alliance and not one soul aboard this ship, or anywhere else in Alliance space, shall abuse you whatsoever. Secondly, Captain Anderson has commanded that you are to remain on this ship until a superior officer says otherwise. He has also left your care to my discretion, and it is a responsibility I take VERY seriously. You WILL be cared for here Slade, do not worry. Lastly, your current physical and mental health is our first primary concern and we shall begin with the physical rehabilitation, while I find the most comforting way to begin mental rehabilitation. As your doctor, I recommend a mild sedative so you may rest unhindered and we will resume once you have awoken. Do you have any objections thus far?” Slade shook his head, he now fully trusted the woman in front of him and was content with allowing her to make the decisions.

 

“Very well”, Karin said. “Please lie back down while I administer the sedative. It will not hurt.” Slade obeyed the Doctor’s command and gently lowered himself back onto the cot.

 

_She cares about me. I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to know someone cares about me._

 

A wave of panic surged through Slade and he snapped back into an upright position, causing Karin to abruptly jump in her spot and immediately grab Slade’s hand again.

 

“Slade?!” Karin demanded. “Is something wrong?” Slade almost did not give her time to finish her question before he interrupted.

 

“I had a backpack with me”, he stated. “Where is it?” Karin seemed to noticeably calm down.

 

“It’s just over there Slade”, Karin said as she pointed to the corner below the opposite side of the cot. Slade quickly glanced over to make sure it was really there, and sure enough it was.

 

“Nobody opened it”, Karin reassured. “It was just scanned for any hazards before it was brought on board.” Slade also calmed down and laid back down, allowing Karin to finish administering the sedative. He did not remember losing consciousness. 

 

 

 

 


	6. Act I : Chapter IV

Act I : IV

 

SSV Normandy 

 

Slade Jordan had been awake for a few moments already, but when he looked around the deserted medbay and realized he was alone, he rolled over and laid back down. It had just occurred to him that this was his first time aboard a ship. Slade always saw them soar across the red skyline of Eden Prime, but had never gotten close enough to touch one, let alone be a passenger. He glanced over at this backpack laying on the cold floor and realized he did not miss home whatsoever. 

 

_What do I really have to miss of “home”. I’ve only been conscious aboard this ship for maybe a day and this place already feels more like home than Eden Prime ever did. Only mom could have made me stay and she was gone._

 

Slade’s heart sank in his chest as he remembered his mother. He quickly threw his mind into figuring out his next step before he began to remember more than he wanted to.

 

_What now? I obviously can’t stay on this ship forever. I’m sure Doctor Chakwas would help me figure it out if I asked, I’m sure she would figure something out. But I can’t rely on her for everything. Nothing good lasts forever, it’s only a matter of time before Karin’s taken away from me. I like her, but I shouldn’t get too attached. She’s either going to leave me or get taken away and I’ll never see her again. How long has it been since we left Eden Prime? Days? Weeks? I’m in space now it’s not like I know how to tell time out here._

 

A sudden thought popped into Slade’s head and he felt immensely guilty he had not thought of it sooner. 

 

_The Commander! Where is she?!_

 

The medbay was empty which automatically meant she was not here recovering from her injuries. Slade remembered seeing her lifeless body smash into the ground.

 

_Oh God. If she’s not here….._

 

Slade immediately stopped himself from continuing his train of thought and shook his head vigorously.

 

_No. No way. You saw her in action. She’s waaaaay too tough to be taken down like that. Hell, even I survived, so she must’ve just recovered before I did and left the medbay._

 

Anxiety now began to build up and cause Slade’s palms to sweat. He decided to stop thinking about the future and just wanted to pass the time until Karin returned. He got out of the cot to stretch his legs and walked around the medbay. After he felt more comfortable, he reached down to the backpack and pulled out his book. Slade sat back down on the cot and began reading his one and only book. About halfway through the novel, the medbay door hissed open and Karin walked in followed by an older, bronze skinned man. Karin smiled at him and walked to the back of the room where her office was. She went inside but did not close her door; meanwhile, the older man wearing a pristine officer’s uniform pushed a chair closer to Slade’s cot and sat down in front of him. 

 

“Hello, son”, greeted the man. “I’m Captain Anderson, and I’m the commanding officer of the Normandy, the ship we’re both sitting in. How are you holding up? I’ve heard what happened down on Eden Prime. I’m sure it was stressful for you, but I honestly think Shepard and her team wouldn’t have disarmed the bombs in time if it weren’t for you. They owe you a debt of gratitude, and so do I. Thank you, son. But enough about that, let’s talk about how you are.” 

 

Slade was slowly beginning to accept that it was only his fellow colonists on Eden Prime that openly resentedhim, but he still managed to be surprised whenever someone talked to him with genuine courtesy. 

 

“I’m alright, Captain Anderson”, Slade replied with all the respect he could muster. “You don’t need to thank me. By letting me stay with you on your ship, you’ve already done more for me than anyone else ever has. Where’s Commander Shepard? Is she alright? I saw her get hurt by the beacon when it exploded.” Anderson smiled at him.

 

“The Commander is fine”, Anderson reported. “She’s just on the Citadel conducting an investigation. We’re hoping she’ll find something soon and we can figure out what to do from there. She asked to be updated on your progress once you regained consciousness, so Doctor Chakwas notified her the moment you woke up. Like Karin told you Slade, everybody here cares about you. You got that, son? We all care about you.” 

 

Slade felt his face warm up as he blushed and immediately looked down at the Captain’s polished leather shoes. He would definitely need to get used to people automatically being nice to him without any promise of reward. 

 

“So,” Slade began. “What exactly is going to happen to me now? Are you going to bring me back to Eden Prime?” The Captain leaned back in his chair and inspected Slade for a moment before answering.

 

“Well, son”, he started. “It’s actually going to be your decision for the most part. The only thing I’m not going to leave up to you is your medical recovery. You WILL remain on this ship until Doctor Chakwas says otherwise. But after that? That’ll be up to you, son. Do you WANT to go back home?” Slade juggled the word “home” around in his head. The medbay he had spent the last day or two cooped up inside had honestly felt more like a “home” than Eden Prime ever did. He glanced over at his backpack and it finally dawned on him that everything he cared about was inside that bag, anything else was expendable - considering his other belongings were probably a smoking pile of rubble back on Eden Prime - Slade was not bothered in the slightest manner. 

 

“Actually, now that you mention it”, Slade said. “I never really had a home, not since my mother passed away. This medbay is actually the closest thing to a home I have right now.” Captain Anderson gave him a small smile, which Slade carefully returned. Doctor Chakwas finally left her office and walked over to join them. Anderson looked up at her and gave her a small nod, which she returned along with a generous smile. 

 

“As I said before, Slade”, Chakwas pointed out. “Until I declare you medically fit to leave my active care, you will not be allowed to disembark the ship; therefore, you must remain here with us and I predict your recovery should take at least 6 more months. Do you agree with my prognosis Captain?”

 

“That will not be necessary, Doctor”, answered Captain Anderson with a small hint of mischief in his voice. “I am in need of an aide and this fine young civilian more than qualifies for the position. I will be making Mr. Jordan a permanent addition to the Normandy’s crew. In conjunction with that, I would please ask that you temporarily give Mr. Jordan medical leave so he may join me on the Citadel.” 

 

“Granted”, Doctor Chakwas said while giving Slade a beaming smile. Slade could not help but smile back at the woman who had done nothing but care for him since he had met her. He thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of giving someone else a genuine, happy smile. Slade then turned to the Captain and mirrored his broad grin back at him. This was the man that essentially handed Slade’s new life to him on a silver platter. Slade decided he would spend the rest of that new life attempting to reimburse Captain Anderson for the huge debt he now owed him. He could not hide the radiating excitement he had in his voice, this was really the first time in years that he had felt this happy.

 

“What’s the Citadel?” Slade inquired.

 

“You’ll see”, Anderson said with a mischievous smile. “But first, you may not technically be in the Systems Alliance Navy; however, I am still your commanding officer. So, head over to the crew quarters and I’ll have some things sent over to you. Get yourself a warm shower, a cool shave and brush your teeth. There’ll be a new uniform waiting for you when you’re all done, then when you feel you’re ready, come back here. Don’t worry, I’ll also have someone show you around. Any questions, son?” 

 

“No, sir”, Slade said in a formal tone. He smiled to himself, savouring the word “sir” in his mind. This was the first time Slade had felt anywhere close to belonging somewhere and he was determined to prolong the feeling.

 

“Alright then!” the Captain said as he stood up to leave. “Follow me”. 


	7. Act I : Chapter V

Act I : V

 

SSV Normandy

 

“Alright, that just about does it!” Pressly concluded. “If you need anything else, feel free to page me or anyone else.”

 

Slade Jordan watched as Navigator Charles Pressly walked back upstairs. He was an older gentlemen with a slightly balding head and a by-the-books military attitude, but still treated Slade nicely in his own way. When Slade had first met him, he had gruffly pestered over Slade’s uniform; pointing out tiny imperfections and dress code violations only he seemed to notice. Nonetheless, he had also kindly given Slade a brief tour of the Normandy, introduced him to anyone who had a free moment, and dropped him off in front of the medbay. Slade briefly inspected his new uniform, smoothing out the small folds that Pressly had gone ballistic over. It was standard issue Alliance blue fatigues, with small metal plates on his chest and left shoulder reading _S. Jordan_. He ran his hand over his freshly shavedfaced and was satisfied with the feeling of perfectly smooth skin. Captain Anderson had sent his new uniform along with a few other things to his new bunk. This included an electric razor - which Slade was not accustomed to considering he had only been given old fashioned hand razors - and he was utterly speechless at how smooth the shave turned out to be; however, Slade’s favourite new belonging was his very own omnitool. Pressly had briefly showed him how to use its basic functions, but Slade was very excited to spend his free time figuring out how to completely utilize his new toy. 

 

_I’m one of the crew now. Everyone is so nice to me, it’s almost like they WANT me to be here. I think I actually belong here. I BELONG here. Alright, well life is kinda treating me a little TOO nicely. When is the rug gonna be ripped out from under me? When is the backstab coming? This is waaaaayyyy too good to last. When is this gonna get back to normal?_

 

“Normal”. Slade juggled the word inside his head. Is this his new normal? Standing in a place where he actually felt home, or is this his small oasis of a break from the “normal”, and life was going to return to its usual terrible state soon? Only time would tell. Slade paged the Captain on his omnitool and waited silently. 

 

_Well, if this is only temporary, I might as well enjoy it while I can._

 

/

 

Citadel Presidium

 

Commander Zoey Shepard lazily stood and waited for Ambassador Donnel Udina to finish criticizing her work yet again. Yes, he was a politician and very easy to dislike, but for some reason Zoey always found another thing to dislike about him every time he opened his mouth. Was this the case with all politicians, or just Udina? Zoey shuddered at the thought of fifty Udina clones all arguing with each other. Zoey looked over at Slade again. 

 

_Wow look at him now. I barely even recognized him. Hell, I wouldn’t have even recognized him ifhis uniform wasn’t labeled with his name. He doesn’t even remotely look like the man we rescued from Eden Prime. Ha! Standing next to Anderson like that almost makes HIM look like a captain too. How quickly they grow up!_

 

“Commander?” 

 

Zoey snapped back to reality and realized everyone in the Ambassador’s office was looking intently at her. Honestly, she was just surprised Udina had stopped talking and was waiting for her to say something. 

 

“Commander?” Udina repeated. “I ask again, why is there a quarian here?”

 

_Oh. Right._

 

“I’m about to make your day, Ambassador”, Zoey answered with a snide tone. “She has proof that Saren attacked Eden Prime and the Geth are working with him.” She then caught sight of Slade as he looked down at the floor and silently smirked to himself.

 

_Attaboy. You don’t like Udina either. You’re a quick learner. Keep that up._

 

Udina then apologized and started questioning Tali. Zoey had to process that for a minute.

 

_Wait…did Udina just apologize to me? I mean, it didn’t sound genuine or sincere, but still. He actually apologized. I don’t know if I should be insulted or happy._

 

Zoey looked over at Slade again and saw him roll his eyes, then Anderson leaned over to him and she barely heard him whisper “Told you.” Slade smirked again and looked like he was trying not to laugh. He then realized Zoey was looking at him and he immediately turned red and looked back down at the floor.

 

_Look at you, Slade! Already best friends with Anderson. I knew you’d fit in. Now we can all slander Udina behind his back together. Ha! I knew there was something I liked about you!_

 

It wasn’t long before Udina sent Zoey and her team off to meet back at the council chambers. Before they left, Kaidan walked over to Slade and saluted him, then continued to shake his hand with a few kind words of encouragement. Slade just beamed back at him and listened intently. Zoey could not help but smile to herself.

 

_Your salute and stance needs some work, but you’re definitely fitting in, Slade. Yup, you belong with us._

 

/

 

Citadel Tower 

 

Slade Jordan had never seen so many aliens in one place all at once. He knew of their existence, he just never had the opportunity to meet one, let alone meet almost every species in the galaxy in one place. Commander Shepard had already gathered such a diverse group: a turian, krogan, and Tali the quarian all stood around Slade and the Captain. The Citadel was amazing. Slade still could not believe it was an artificial construct, it really did feel like a planet - until you looked outside - and he was completely intrigued by the enormous space station. He watched the Commander walk down the ramp towards him and her entourage that had gathered just outside the chamber. Captain Anderson stepped forwards toward her.

 

“Congratulations, Commander”, Anderson said with pride. Before Shepard could even answer, Udina interrupted and urged the Captain to follow him away to his office. Slade was told to stay behind with the Commander and her team because something “confidential” was being discussed. Slade watched Udina walk away with the Captain, but felt content knowing Anderson probably shared the same look of anger that Slade had on his face. He then flinched as the krogan grunted and spoke.

 

“Hmph” the krogan scoffed. “Bastard didn’t even thank you.” He had a deep, gruff voice and a huge scar along his face. The krogan was eye level with Slade, but the plates he had on his head - which could be the equivalent of hair - and the towering hump on his back placed him at least two feet taller. 

 

“Well, that’s fine”, Shepard commented. “I didn’t want his gratitude anyway. I didn’t do this for him. Anyway, thanks for your help, Wrex. We probably couldn’t have gotten to Fist without you. You’re more than welcome to stick around with us while we wait for further instructions. When we do get a ship, we could definitely use someone like you on board.” The krogan - Wrex - seemed to think to himself for a few moments, but the turian spoke up first.

 

“Come on, Wrex!” The turian teased. “Just admit it, you had fun with us! Why not come along for the ride?” He then started making a sound which Slade realized was a laugh. His mandibles were moving in a rhythmic pattern and his blue armour matched the paint he had across his face, which was also about two feet above Slade’s head. The turian’s blue holographic visor accented and completed the look he had. A low rumbling chuckle emanated from Wrex’s body.

 

“Alright”, Wrex chuckled. “You got me, Garrus. I did have fun. Fine, I’m in. This old man could use another adventure.” 

 

“You’re welcome, Shepard”, chirped Garrus the turian. “I just recruited a walking tank for us!” The Commander laughed in return and turned her attention to Slade. She smiled at him before talking.

 

“Look at you, Specialist Jordan!” She teased with a sly laugh. She then jokingly saluted and Slade chuckled and returned the salute. Shepard then walked forward and adjusted his arm and hand, then gently kicked his boots together so his feet were completely parallel to one another. Slade’s face went red and his body began trembling from the sudden sensation of touch from another person. His panic attack was controlled this time - not nearly as bad as the ones he had in the medbay - but it still caused him to go haywire. Slade knew he should probably talk to Chakwas about it, but also did not want to even mention his breakdown to anyone else, and figured learning how to silently suppress or control his meltdown would be easier than talking about it. Slade tried his best not to let his discomfort show, but Shepard noticed it.

 

“Are you okay?” Shepard asked worryingly. 

 

“Yeah”, Slade answered quickly. “Just getting used to everything, I guess. I kinda just got handed a new life and I’m trying to settle in ASAP.” Shepard just smiled at him, but Slade was quite sure she did not believe him; regardless she pressed on.

 

“Well, we might was well add this to your catch up list”, she started. “Long story short, we found out that Saren - a turian spectre - was responsible for the attack on Eden Prime and he now has an army of Geth taking orders from him. The council just made me a spectre so that I have the authority to go after him. Oh, spectres are galactic council agents who pretty much do whatever they want, and are never held responsible for their actions. Well…except for Saren, who we are now going to hold responsible for his actions and punish him accordingly…Ummm…it sounded a lot better in my head, but you get what I’m trying to say, right?” Slade immediately burst out laughing out how childish the Commander had sounded. He did not intend his laughter to be rude or inconsiderate, but he could not help but break out in uncontrollable laughter. The Commander soon joined him and the group around them contributed small chuckles. Slade and Shepard - with tears running down their cheeks - finally stopped laughing enough to be able to talk properly. 

 

“So”, Shepard continued. “We’re just waiting for Udina and Anderson to figure something out, cuz I’ll need my own ship to find Saren.” Slade’s mood performed a backflip as his laughter immediately became dread and his heart sank.

 

_If she needs her own ship, then she won’t be staying on the Normandy anymore. Here’s the thing I was waiting for. I finally find a place where I belong and already people I like are already being taken away from me. Well, it was nice while it lasted, I guess. Damn it. I shouldn’t have gotten so attached to her. I knew she wouldn’t stay. This really isn’t anyone’s fault, but she’s still getting taken away from me._

 

Slade was silent for too long and again, Shepard noticed.

 

“So…ummm…”, she awkwardly attempted to continue. “I guess… I won’t be around to inspect your salutes much longer…But you better keep practicing! I’m your senior officer now and I promise the next time I see you, I’m gonna inspect your salute and I better be impressed!” Shepard gave Slade the same heartwarming smile she had back on Eden Prime, and he could not stop himself from sadly smiling back at her. Commander Zoey Shepard was the first person to actually show Slade genuine courtesy and he was honestly sad that she was going to be leaving. Before Slade could say something, his omnitool beeped which caused him to break Shepard’s gaze and look to his arm.

 

“Nice omnitool”, Shepard complimented. Slade smiled to himself at her remark as he read the message. _Please bring the Commander and her new team back to the Normandy. I’ve uploaded a waypoint marker to your omnitool. Just follow the directions it gives you. ~ Captain D. Anderson._

 

“The Captain just paged”, Slade noted. “I’m supposed to bring everyone back to the Normandy.” Shepard beckoned everyone else to follow.

 

“Well”, she said. “I guess they found me a ship. Record time, too.” Slade found himself hoping the Commander was wrong.


	8. Act I : Chapter VI

Act I : VI

 

Citadel Docking Platforms

 

Slade Jordan could not believe what he was hearing, but judging by the look on the Commander’s face, he was not the only one. 

 

“She’s the perfect ship for a spectre”, Captain Anderson noted. “Treat her well, Commander.” All eyes were on Shepard. Her radiant, green eyes were wide with shock, but for the first time Slade noticed her eyes had finally betrayed her thoughts. There was a hint of understanding in her gaze. She definitely did not enjoy the idea of taking the Normandy from the Captain, but she understood that it was indeed necessary. 

 

“I will, Captain”, she managed to say. “I promise.” Captain Anderson nodded, satisfied with the answer. He then turned to Slade.

 

“Specialist Jordan”, he started. “You have also been reassigned. I no longer require an aide, but the Normandy’s commanding officer now requires a yeoman. From this point on, you will be assigned as acting yeoman to the SSV Normandy. You are technically still considered a civilian, but if you wish to officially enlist with the Systems Alliance Navy, you will inquire about that with your commanding officer. Do you have any questions, son?” The Captain had thought of everything. Again, Slade was so touched that someone else had thought of him; moreover, they had thought of him first, and prioritized him instead of themselves. Slade could not imagine how he could manage to pay back his debt to Anderson in his lifetime, but he would never stop trying. He followed Shepard’s lead, understanding that there was no point arguing and that he trusted Anderson if he believed this was necessary. 

 

“No, sir”, Slade replied formally. The Captain stepped forward and put his hands on Slade’s shoulders. Slade mentally recoiled at the physical contact, his heart started racing and his body began to tremble, but Anderson gripped more firmly instead of backing away.

 

“Listen to me, son”, Anderson ordered. “I’ve been in the navy for a long time. A LONG time. One thing I’ve learned over the years is how to spot potential. I know it when I see it. I see it in Shepard. I see it in you. I wouldn’t have given up the ship if I didn’t believe in her, and I definitely wouldn’t send you along with her if I didn’t believe in you. Trust me when I say this, I know you won’t believe me, but TRY. I believe in you, son. I know you have locked potential in you, and being around Shepard means you’ll definitely find a way to unlock it. Always remember that everyone on that ship WANTS you to be there and NOBODY wants to see you hurt. NEVER forget that. You’re not on Eden Prime anymore. Right, that’s enough. Get out there and make me proud, son.” Slade stopped trembling. His heart stopped racing. His mind was finally clear after going haywire for a few minutes. The only thing he saw was the man standing in front of him, who always called him “son”.

 

_You’ve been a better father to me than my Father ever was. And I’ve only known you for a few days. I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me and I promise I’ll make you proud._

 

Slade noticed tears were now streaming down his face, but he ignored them. He stepped back out of Anderson’s grip and saluted him, just the way that Shepard taught him.

 

“I won’t let you down Captain.” Slade swore. “I won’t stop until I’m certain you’re proud of me.” Anderson returned the salute with watery eyes.

 

“I already am, son”, he said. “Now get out there, and remember everything I said. Don’t look back. Only forward, Slade.” Slade proudly nodded and followed the group that was already heading towards the airlock. It took every shred of self control Slade had to stop himself from looking back at Anderson. He heard Shepard exchange a few words with Udina and Anderson behind his back, then heard footsteps quickly walk up behind him. 

 

“That was a good salute”, the Commander complimented. “I guess you don’t need practice, maybe you just have a gift. Don’t let your guard down! You never know when your commander is going to inspect.” Slade smiled and rubbed his tears away with his sleeve. He was happy the Commander was not taken away from him, but was also devastated the Captain was taken.

 

_I’m going to make you proud._


	9. Act I : Chapter VII

Act I : VII

 

SSV Normandy

 

“Remember”, Tali began. “If you decide to overcharge the capacitors, the power surge WILL arc and if you’re the one standing too close, the surge WILL arc to you.” Slade Jordan was wondering if all quarians were this quirky, or if it was specific to Tali’Zorah. The young quarian was permanently encased in her suit, and Slade’s only way to gauge her was her pair of glowing, purple eyes. They were usually still and focused, but darted all around in quick, successive motions whenever she began talking about something that excited her. She reminded Slade of a stereotypical, teenage girl he saw in vids from Earth: she was shy and remote - until she got to know you and became comfortable in your presence - then her mouth became an endless stream of snark and sass. It did not bother him; in fact, he enjoyed it. Tali seemed like the only one here - besides the Commander - who was something besides by-the-book discipline. Slade enjoyed talking to Tali, not just because she seemed more “normal”, but also because she was like himself: not technically Alliance, but she felt home on the Normandy just as much as anyone else did.

 

The Normandy had been scouting the Artemis Tau cluster for the past few weeks in search of an Asari, who was believed to know something about Saren or Saren’s companion: Matriarch Benezia. In that time, Slade had learned more than he ever did in the twenty plus years he lived on Eden Prime; not only that, but he had finally found a place where everyone accepted him KNOWING he was a biotic. A “home”. Slade had become accustomed to suicidal thoughts and spending all his free time alone, where nobody could find him and abuse him; however, now he would eat his meals at the mess hall with everyone else and spend his free time talking to anyone who would listen. He was finally HAPPY, a feat he thought he would never accomplish. 

 

His appointments with Doctor Chakwas became less and less frequent, to the point where he would only see her once a week. She was amazed at his progress - so was Slade - and credited his healthy recovery to his new environment. There were still a few things he did not want to discuss with the Doctor, and managed to hide them thus far, but Slade knew she would figure him out soon: she was far too smart for his secrets to remain secrets. She consistently and relentlessly urged him to consider asking Kaidan or Shepard for biotic training, or at the very least undergo an operation to receive non-combat implants. According to medical studies, long term suppression of biotic potential could lead to uncontrolled and violent outbursts of biotic power - especially in individuals without biotic implants - and it was far better to dissipate his suppressed biotic potential than continue to bottle it up. Slade agreed that she made a good point, but could not bring himself to actually begin the training. His biotic potential was still an underlying, rooted source of shame. Regardless of how many people telling him it was “okay” to be a biotic, he could not bring himself to believe it. Slade was partly in denial about the concept, but he believed if he ignored his biotics for long enough and pretended he was NOT a biotic, it would go away. Slade knew it was impossible, but he still felt this to be the most comfortable solution: merely ignore the problem, and it will go away. He knew his new home definitely helped him feel exponentially better than Eden Prime, but even happiness could not erase years of abuse that made him resent himself and his biotics.

 

Ashley Williams - the gunnery sergeant - was in charge of the armoury and taught Slade whatever she could whenever he was on the lower level of the ship. As with everyone else, she was always nice to him, but Slade would notice that she was VERY hard on herself. Ashley would terribly punish herself for the smallest mistakes, which was strange considering how nice she was to everyone else. Slade felt immense sympathy for her and wanted to help her realize that nobody here was expecting her to be perfect; however, Slade figured there was probably a reason for her behaviour that she kept to herself, which he also respected. 

 

Garrus Vakarian - an ex cop on the citadel - was not the by-the-books officer Slade had expected; instead, he was headstrong and idealistic. He would listen to rules, regulations and opinions, but would not necessarily listen to them; furthermore, he usually concluded that anyone who disagreed with him was wrong. Garrus was difficult to argue with, but as long as Slade agreed with him, he was almost his best friend at times. Ashley taught him how to maintain his weapons and armour, but Garrus received all the credit for training Slade’s marksmanship. In all the hours the pair of them spent at the shooting range, Garrus had not missed a single shot; in fact, the closest he ever came to a “miss” was a round that pierced through the head of one dummy and embedded itself in the eye of the dummy directly behind. Slade never believed he would ever surpass his teacher, but took pride in himself whenever Garrus said “nice shot”, which was high praise indeed. 

 

Slade was most comfortable with his pistol - an M-77 Paladin which the Commander had specially requisitioned from the Spectre Armoury, to which Garrus had also taught him how to modify with “questionable” parts - and the rounds it fired seemed to pierce through almost anything. He was even worried that a stray shot would pierce the hull of the ship. Slade was adequately trained with a standard issue M-7 Lancer, but Garrus despised the rifle for using “old school” thermal heat sinks instead of the modern thermal ejection clips. This made it prone to overheating and without a method to eject the internal heat sink, the rifle would need to cool back down to operation temperature before it could be fired again. Slade’s marksmanship was deemed “too mediocre” by Garrus to begin training with a sniper rifle, but he promised Slade he would train him once his overall marksmanship improved. Slade did not even want to touch a shotgun, based on what he had seen thus far: he was more likely to break his arm before mastering the weapon’s recoil. 

 

Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was the biotic specialist aboard the Normandy, and Slade found a fast friend in him based on how much they had in common. He was a soft spoken man with a smart head on his shoulders and always valued caution above impulse. Slade would always listen intently whenever he talked about his childhood and adolescence, mainly because Kaidan spent time at a “biotic school”, which was only a fantasy to Slade until now. Although Kaidan’s stories verged on being horror stories at some points due to the intense and unapologetic training regime, Slade could not help but be fascinated by the concept of a place where biotics could use their abilities freely without judgement. Again, Kaidan definitely sold Slade on the idea that the place was horrible and a borderline internment camp, but Slade personally believed it would have been better than Eden Prime and felt bitter that Kaidan seemed to take his past experiences for granted. Regardless, Kaidan had become a close friend and Slade would spend most of his free time with him; however, he constantly remembered Doctor Chakwas’ advice to ask Kaidan for training and bit his tongue whenever the topic of biotics came up. 

 

Jeff “Joker” Moreau was the most interesting member of the crew thus far. He was the ship’s pilot and was quite literally not allowed to leave the cockpit unless absolutely necessary. Joker suffered from a rare bone degeneracy which caused his skeleton to become incredibly brittle, resulting in a lifestyle that did not allow strenuous movement or rough physical contact. He was mostly confined to his pilot’s seat with the exception of bathroom breaks, and did not socialize with anyone unless they came to him. Joker was VERY abrasive and sarcastic - Slade figured it was a result of Jeff constantly knowing he would never be able to be “normal”, which Slade could only sympathize with - and came off as a rude, little asshole. His redeeming quality was that although he may not have liked anyone at first, he eventually came to respect people if they showed him respect first. Slade liked to think he was now on Joker’s good side, because Joker seemed to always treat him slightly more nicely than others; however, this was not saying much considering Joker’s base level of snark. 

 

Commander Zoey Shepard had become more than just a friend to Slade; in fact, she became the first person he went to if he ever had anything to talk about. The first impression she had made on Eden Prime permanently cemented itself in Slade’s mind, and he could not help but go to her for anything and everything. He still blushed whenever she talked to him in a gentle manner and he enjoyed laughing to exhaustion with her during her childish moments. Shepard was an amazing leader - more a close friend to everyone than a commanding officer - and she had this aura around her that made you WANT to listen to her. Nobody ever seemed to question or complain about any orders she gave, they just simply followed them trusting that the Commander would not have issued the order if she had not completely considered it necessary. Zoey was the Commander who would rather die in your place, than send you to your death and that accumulated an extraordinary amount of respect from everyone under her command. She really was the perfect spectre and the best humanity had to offer. 

 

Urdnot Wrex. 

 

Slade mentally groaned at the thought of him. He was the broken chip in the otherwise perfect sculpture. Wrex was the only one aboard the ship that reminded Slade of Eden Prime. He openly despised and detested Slade and Wrex found every opportunity possible to notify him that he was not liked. It did not bother Slade - after all he was definitely no stranger to abuse - but Wrex did not seem to hate him because he was a biotic; no, Wrex seemed to hate the very fact that Slade even existed. Slade’s very presence in this galaxy seemed to irritate the krogan, and he had concluded that it was not due to the fact that krogan disliked everyone. It was easy to see Wrex respected Commander Shepard, tolerated everyone else, and hated Slade. Slade was too scared and intimidated by Wrex to ask why he was resented to such a degree, but unfortunately he had no one else to ask because they were all just as intimidated as he was. The only person who would know why Wrex hated Slade was the Commander, and she did not know why either. Slade was simply advised to avoid Wrex and immediately call Shepard if he ever became physically hostile. Slade agreed - without much of a choice - but never managed to sleep properly while Wrex was also aboard the ship. This was his first experience of monster nightmares and being afraid of what awaited in the dark of night, except that the monster was indeed very much real, and walked around with a shotgun bigger than Slade’s leg. The most confusing part was that Wrex was also a biotic, but no urge to sympathize with Slade ever seemed to crawl into Wrex’ mind. Slade sadly concluded there was nothing he, or anyone could do about Wrex and simply accepted him as a new obstacle in his new life. 

 

“There”, Tali concluded. “The overload program should now work properly on your omnitool, as long as you don’t fry yourself trying to overcharge it. Remember what I said! Don’t stand too close to your targets. Humans are mostly water. Water and highly conductive, ionic capacitor discharges do not play nice with each other.” Slade gave her a small laugh.

 

“Thanks, Tali”, Slade replied. “It’s nice to know you care.” They both then looked over towards the sound of approaching boots as Shepard walked up to them. 

 

“Tali”, she ordered. “Gear up and meet at the Mako ASAP. Ashley should already be there waiting for us. Pressly thinks we found Benezia’s daughter on this planet.” Tali nodded and headed off.

 

“Slade”, Shepard continued. “Follow me.” She led Slade to the medbay and they walked inside to find Doctor Chakwas at her desk. Karin looked up at them.

 

“Yes, Commander?” She asked with her posh accent. 

 

“Sorry about this”, Shepard began hurriedly. “But this was a kinda last minute impulsive decision on my part. Can you please clear Slade for active combat?”

 

“Wait, what?” Slade asked nervously.

 

“What?!” Karin exclaimed. “ABSOLUTELY NOT! Not until his biotics are completely under control and-

 

“Sorry again”, Commander Shepard interrupted. “But I’m kinda gonna go with my gut on this one. If you don’t wanna clear him, that’s fine! I’ll just invoke spectre authority and take him anyway.” Karin now wore a very serious, furious look on her face which was completely uncharacteristic of her, and managed to genuinely frighten Slade.

 

_Oh fuck. I do NOT like where this is going_.

 

“You wouldn’t dare”, threatened Chakwas. Shepard shrugged with a playful grin on her face.

 

_Oh God, she’s ENJOYING this…Chakwas is gonna blow a gasket._

 

“Commander Zoey Shepard”, Chakwas barked. “If you take Slade without my permission I swear to you I will-

 

The Commander snatched Slade’s hand and began sprinting out of the medbay, dragging him along with her. Slade barely managed to stay upright without falling over after the sudden jerk of motion. The sudden burst of adrenaline allowed them both to run inside the elevator and shut the door, while the furious shriek Doctor Chakwas released followed them all the way down to the cargo bay. Slade realized he was out of breath and the elevator seemed to be taking an eternity. 

 

“Well”, Shepard began. “That went a lot better than I thought it would. She must be getting slow in her old age.” Slade was still under the influence of his adrenaline rush and did not register the joke.

 

“Ummm…” Slade started. Shepard put a finger to his lips to silence him, causing his cheeks to burn red.

 

“I’ll explain in the Mako”, she said quickly.

 

_The Mako? Oh shit… what are you thinking, Commander…_

 

 


	10. Act I : Chapter VIII

Act I : VIII

 

Surface of Planet Therum

 

_I think that last bump knocked out the last of my teeth and broke my one good rib._

 

Slade Jordan braced himself as the M-35 Mako thundered across the smouldering landscape of Therum. Everything the eye could see was either molten lava, or molten rock… or molten ash… wherever Dr. T’soni was, they could not get there fast enough. Slade felt as if his stomach was in his throat, the Mako managed to clear all obstacles thus far, but it was NOT a pleasant ride. He could not figure out if his new armour helped absorb the impact from each bump or crash, or made it worse for his body. Slade looked down at his standard issue Allianceblue combat armour and double checked each fault zone to ensure nothing got knocked loose by the Mako’s rough ride. His helmet’s heads-up-display confirmed his hardsuit was still intact and all fault zones were secure. 

 

“Hey, Ashley?” Slade inquired. “You’ve been on this thing before. Is it usually this…bumpy?” 

 

“Believe it or not”, Ashley retorted. “This used to be WORSE. Garrus and I made a few adjustments to the suspension to make the ride less gut wrenching, but yeah, this used to be a LOT worse.” Tali made a sound that Slade did not realize was actually a giggle, and only noticed after she started talking.

 

“Well,” she teased. “It’s only this bad when SHEPARD drives.”

 

“I heard that!” Shepard commented. “I’m the commander, so I get to drive. Besides, none of you can drive stick so zip it, or I swear I’ll turn this thing around and we’ll go straight home without ice cream. Also, just throwing this out there, but the handling on this thing is ABSOLUTE SHIT. We’re probably more likely to drive into lava than get shot. I swear, I’m not a terrible driver but this piece of crap is definitely making me LOOK like one. We can always get out and walk the rest of the way if-

 

“Nope!” The three of them said in unison. “Keep going, boss lady!” 

 

The Mako’s cockpit was not cramped; however, it was not exactly comfortable either. It was claustrophobic at best, and Slade figured it was at capacity with the four of them inside. Ashley commanded the weapon’s interface and awaited targets from the Commander, who was in the driver’s position. Slade was assigned to the navigation interface and was essentially the last line of defence from driving into a pool of lava. Tali sat towards the back of the Mako with her omnitool open and she was furiously inputting commands, earning her the unofficial title of Mako Engineer, or as she preferred to be called: The Shitcan Fixer. 

 

“This place is crawling with Geth!” Ashley observed. “I think Pressly was right, the Asari has to be here!” 

 

Eventually, they reached a point where the Shitcan could take them no further and Shepard stopped the Mako. Slade notified the Commander that they would need to walk the rest of the way, and she instructed them to gather up their gear and disembark. Therum was not nearly as hot as it looked, despite the pools of lava. Slade felt like he was walking around Eden Prime on a warm, summer day. A Geth plasma bolt then sailed over his head and scorched the rock behind him. 

_Well, at least the locals here are nicer than the ones back home. Geth might shoot you, but at least they’ll be nice about it._

 

Slade followed Ashley as they ran to the nearest rock that was tall enough to duck behind. Plasma bolts peppered the front face of the rock and Slade was glad they were attacked from the front and not from behind. 

 

_My first real firefight! Whoah, okay calm down. I should NOT be this excited._

 

Slade primed his Paladin and charged the first shot in the clip. This was the first time he was going to fire the pistol outside the shooting range or a combat simulation. He peeked around the corner and spotted four Geth at the top of the hill: one rocket unit and three shock units. Slade’s HUD highlighted the four Geth so even if he looked away, he could find them easily again. 

 

“Three hostiles!” Ashley yelled. “Can anyone confirm?!”

 

“Four hostiles!” Slade corrected. 

 

“Four, confirmed!” Shepard shouted over the comm. “Ashley, your HUD isn’t synced with ours! The rest of us see four!”

 

“Damn”, Ashley swore under her breath. She activated her omnitool briefly to input a quick command then readied her Lancer. “Alright, all synced up!” 

 

Slade’s HUD lit up with a few small icons and beeped a few prompts which the other’s seemed to immediately understand. It took Slade a few seconds to comprehend what he saw and remember everything he learned from the simulations. The squad leader used HUD elements and prompts to communicate tactics and strategies to the rest of the squad without a need to actually talk. In this instance, Shepard was the squad leader, so all the prompts were her input orders. The first prompt highlighted all four targets with an overload icon, and was acknowledged by Tali. The next prompt highlighted the rocket unit along with the shock unit at the top of the hill with biotic icons, which Shepard herself acknowledged. The last prompt highlighted the two remaining shock units which Ashley had already acknowledged, and the final prompt was awaiting Slade’s input. The icon corresponding to his prompt was an empty crosshair: eliminate the targets by any means necessary. Slade acknowledged his prompt and a five second countdown appeared on his HUD.

 

_Four._

 

The Geth were relentlessly eroding the rock Slade and Ashley were using for cover with an endless barrage of plasma bolts. Slade wondered if the rock would actually give way.

 

_Three._

 

A rocket exploded behind the Commander and Tali, showering them both with rubble. Shepard looked more irritated than shellshocked. 

 

_Two._

 

Slade took one last look at his pistol and double checked whether it was charged. It was indeed charged.

 

_One._

 

Tali overcharged her omnitool and arced an overload that chained to each of the Geth, disabling their shields and rooting them in place while their servos seized: they were frozen and helpless. Shepard unleashed her biotics to lift the rocket unit and hurl it into the closest shock unit as if it was a torpedo, reducing them both to a pile of mangled scrap metal. Slade sprang out of cover, sighted down the closest shock unit and pulled the trigger. The round pierced through the chest of the unsuspecting Geth and removed the leg of the one unlucky enough to be behind it. It collapsed to the ground and Ashley marched over in order to mercilessly blow its head off, showering the vicinity with artificial fluids and bits of metal. Slade looked back at his first confirmed kill. The Geth sported such a huge hole in its chest, it looked as if it was a set of limbs arranged in a very specific layout: the torso had simply ceased to exist. 

 

“Keelah!” Tali exclaimed. “What did you do to your pistol? Load it with dreadnought torpedos?”Slade smirked under his helmet with a sense of pride.

 

“Actually”, Slade retorted. “I loaded it with rocks from Eden Prime. I’m not technically enlisted with the Alliance, so I don’t get a paycheque and the rocks were all I could afford to load into the pistol.” Tali rolled her purple eyes as they all started to walk up the hill to join Shepard.

 

“That was a nice shot, Slade”, Ashley complimented. “Garrus can’t claim credit for that one! Not bad for a first kill, now you definitely can’t forget it.” Shepard pretended to cry through her helmet.

 

“I know”, she fake sobbed. “They grow up so fast! Just yesterday he was blowing holes in practice dummies, tomorrow he’ll be shooting down frigates with a slingshot!” They all shared a quick laugh before heading to the next hill, which was also swarming with Geth. 

 

_I know I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am, but I really am enjoying this._

 

/

 

Commander Zoey Shepard was not happy; in fact, she was absolutely livid with rage. 

 

“Try up, up, left, right”, Tali suggested. 

 

“I already did!” Shepard snapped.

 

“But, are you certain about that?” Tali retorted. Shepard inputted the sequence into the mining laser, but was rewarded with a negatory beep and silence yet again. The oversized hunk of junk was seriously testing her patience. Zoey let out an exaggerated groan and kicked the command console just hard enough to shake it. 

 

“Tali”, Shepard called. “Are you one hundred percent CERTAIN there’s no other way around and you can’t bypass the console?” 

 

“Positive”, Tali stated. “Unless you see a break in the bedrock somewhere, but we’ve all looked everywhere. The only way through is to blast a way inside and we don’t have the ordinance for that. The mining laser COULD do it, but I can’t bypass the interface because it’s directly hardwired into the laser. It’s weird, the console isn’t even locked, it just requires a very specific command sequence. If it was just locked or encrypted, then yes I could easily bypass it but that is not the case here. We’re just gonna have to brute force our way in, Shepard. Eventually, we’ll find the correct combination, there are only so many possible sequences.” Shepard groaned loudly again and raised up her hand in defeat. 

 

“Alright”, Shepard said as she extended her hand out and offered her palm. “Someone, tag in. I give up.” 

 

“Tsk, tsk, Commander”, Ashley teased. “So quick to throw in the towel? We’ll never catch Saren with that attitude.” Zoey smirked under her helmet.

 

“Well”, she replied. “We could always-

 

Zoey was interrupted as Slade walked past her and stood at the console. She joined Tali and Ashley in looking over to observe him. Slade keyed in two inputs and was met with a familiar negative beep that Zoey had become all too familiar with; however, his third input made her jump has the mining laser flared to life and carved a tunnel into the bedrock in front of them. Ashley walked towards the new tunnel to inspect it while Shepard and Tali walked towards Slade.

 

“So”, Zoey started. “What was the winning combo?” She could tell Slade wore a mischievous grin under his helmet.

 

“Up, up, up, up” he sneered. “We had an old fashioned command input like this one back on Eden Prime. I overheard an engineer mention it was so old school that it was difficult to reprogram - which is also why Tali couldn’t bypass it - so most of these consoles just use the factory default sequence as the command prompt. The few we had back on Eden Prime were either down, down, down, down or up, up, up, up. I just tried every direction and the “up” sequence worked on this one.” Ashley viciously facepalmed her helmet.

 

“Seriously, Commander”? Ashley scoffed. “You didn’t think to try that?”

 

“I thought something like that would’ve been too obvious!” Zoey exclaimed. “I mean, come on that’s like setting your password as ‘password’! Nobody does that!” Tali shuffled her feet and coughed softly, causing everyone to look at her. 

 

“Tali…” Slade began.

 

“Don’t worry”, Tali sighed. “I’ll change it.” Zoey laughed as she walked over to Ashley. 

 

“It’s a one way drop, Commander”, Ashley pointed out as she beckoned to the fresh tunnel. “If we go in, we’ll need to find another way out of this place.” 

 

“We didn’t come this far just to turn around and find an easier way in” Zoey replied. “Let’s go. Benezia’s daughter is still waiting for us to bust her out.” 

 

/

 

Slade Jordan was no longer enjoying himself; moreover, he finally realized why Doctor Chakwas did not want him in frontline combat. Not only was the cave collapsing around him, but there was an angry, biotic krogan attempting to reduce him to a bloody mess. All the Geth had been dealt with, but even Slade’s team of four combined could not seem to do more than anger the krogan further. Tali stayed back at the farthest end of the room with Doctor T’soni in order to protect her from the krogan wrecking ball. Ashley, Slade and Shepard pushed forward to the centre of the room attempting to keep the krogan away from them, but it was not an easy task. The krogan leaped out of cover and started another push forward, protected from gunfire by his biotic barrier. Shepard sprung out of cover and used her biotics to attempt to warp the krogan’s barrier. He staggered, but not enough to stop his threatening advance towards them. Shepard fell back down against the metal pillar she was using as cover, obviously exhausted as she looked as if her legs were heavier than she was accustomed to. 

 

_Shit. The Commander is reaching her limits. Ashley and I won’t be able to hold up against the giant bastard without her help._

 

The krogan seemed to agree with Slade’s conclusion and relentlessly pushed forward towards Shepard, he was a Mako’s length away from her now and Slade was getting worried.

 

_Shit. SHIT. I know the Commander is tough, but a krogan is still a krogan. If that thing grabs her…_

 

Slade immediately stopped himself from contemplating any further, he did not like the conclusion he seemed to be reaching towards; however, the mental image he had in his mind of Shepard’s broken corpse, sprawled across the ground caused fury to coarse through his veins.

 

_No. You don’t get to touch her._

 

Slade’s body sprinted out of cover and sped towards the krogan, who was now at arm’s length from the pillar Shepard was hiding behind. He didn’t need to think, his body was autonomously reacting and he followed its lead. 

 

“GO, SLADE!” Ashley yelled. “I’VE GOT YOUR BACK! TAKE THAT FUCKER OUT!” Slade did not turn around to make sure Ashley was following him, he did not have time. He fired his Paladin mid sprint at the krogan who was now on the other side of the pillar, but did not land a single shot.

 

_Idiot. I’ve never fired this thing while walking, let alone at full speed. I shouldn’t be surprised I missed but this is definitely not the time for me to start failing, the Commander is in real danger._

 

The krogan rounded the pillar and charged at Shepard, who managed to throw out one last biotic warp before rolling out of the way, losing her Lancer in the process which skid across the floor. The warp knocked the krogan off balance and he stumbled long enough for the Commander to get to her feet. Slade readied another shot but Shepard was now in his line of fire and he could not risk shooting. Shepard gathered an immense amount of energy and began to radiate with a blue aura. Whatever she was planning, it looked like it would drain her remaining biotic potential, so Slade hoped it would work. Shepard charged forward with inhuman speed and focused all her power into a single, focused energy blast that she released from her right fist as she punched the krogan in the gut with all her strength. A small biotic explosion emanated from Shepard’s fist as the krogan fell to his knees and groaned in pain. His chest plate was mangled and dented from the impact and cracked around his abdomen, which began oozing dark, orange blood that dripped slowly down his front. Shepard primed and charged her M-6 Carnifex - preparing to finish the krogan off - but the krogan acted first. He lifted his arm and fired his shotgun, catching Shepard in the shoulder and flinging her violently to the ground. Shrapnel and deep, red blood settled on the floor: her barrier had failed and allowed the shot to pierce her armour. The sight of the Commander’s blood filled Slade with primal fury, and with her out of his line of fire, he discharged the remainder of his thermal clip into the krogan’s head. More orange blood, and fragments of what looked like bone splattered the floors as the krogan fell backwards and crumpled to the ground.

 

_Stay down, you motherfucker._

 

“Commander!” Ashley shouted as she ran over to Shepard’s limp body. “Slade! Make sure the son of a bitch is dead! I’ll get the Commander!” Slade didn’t need to be told twice, his blood was still seething with rage. He marched over to the dead krogan and inspected his handiwork. The krogan’s head plate had taken two shots from Slade’s pistol and was marked with two large bullet holes just above his right eye. Just like before, the rounds did not fail to pierce through the cinderblock of a skull the krogan had, and left his head plate fractured and broken around each entry point. The bits of bone-like fragments that littered the floor around them were actually bits of his head plate that had splintered and showered the area. Slade did not feel the need to double-tap - there was no reason to - as the krogan was unmistakably dead. Suddenly, a large heap of rubble fell from the ceiling and crashed into the ground next to Slade, close enough to make him feel a gust of warm air wash over his leg.

 

_We’re going to join the dead bastard if we don’t get the hell outta here._

 

Shepard looked over to Tali and saw her leading Doctor T’soni over to them while evading falling rocks.

 

“Now would be a VERY good time to leave!” Tali remarked. Slade nodded and moved over to Ashley and the Commander. Williams had applied medigel to her shoulder and sealed the wound to the best of her ability.

 

“Chief Williams to Normandy!” Ashley barked over the comm. “Shepard’s been hit! Have Chakwas on standby! We’re on our way to the surface!” 

 

“We’re up here waiting!” Joker shouted over the comm. “But try not to take your time!” Slade and Ashley each grabbed one of Shepard’s arms and hauled her out of the ruins, following Tali’s lead. Halfway to the surface, Shepard’s legs started moving again and she began running along with them.

 

“Let me go!” she ordered. “I can move on my own and we’re too slow like this! Run! FASTER!” Slade and Ashley reluctantly released her arms and they all sprinted through the entrance tunnel, which was not easy considering its uphill incline and unexplained rising temperature. Slade got to the top and looked back, instantly regretting his decision: the tunnel behind them was now filled with lava. Shepard yanked him out of the tunnel and they stumbled down the entrance ramp.

 

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” She screamed. “KEEP MOVING!” The Normandy had touched down at the start of the ramp and Tali, Ashley and the Doctor were already on board, waving to the two of them to hurry. Slade could feel a wave of heat behind him and knew they were steps away from molten lava. The Normandy jerked upwards and was now hovering a few feet off the ground, too high off the ground to jump. Tali and Ashley reached down from the landing ramp and left their arms dangling off the edge. 

 

“COME ON!” Ashley bellowed. “HURRY! JUMP THE FUCK UP HERE!” Slade and Shepard prepared to jump, but were suddenly lifted off their feet and pulled into the cargo bay. They collapsed to the cold metal floor which actually made Slade shiver after being almost close enough to touch lava. The landing ramp raised and locked, while the Normandy sky rocketed back into the atmosphere of space. Slade looked up to catch a faint glimmer of biotic aura around Doctor T’soni.

 

“Thanks for pulling us inside, Doctor”, Shepard gasped gratefully. “We definitely wouldn’t have made that jump without you.”

 

“You rescued me from both a krogan mercenary and an active volcano”, replied Doctor T’soni in a calm, mystified voice. “There is no need for thanks, it was the least I could do to repay you for saving my life. And please, call me Liara.” She bent down and offered a hand to Slade, which he gladly took and was raised to his feet. Liara T’soni was a typical asari with smooth skin of a light, mellow blue. Her lab coat was burnt and ripped in a few places, but otherwise looked like it was always kept in a pristine state. Her pale blue eyes gave off a feeling of mystery and wonder, almost as if she was not corporeal, but a sentient spirit that was given a physical body. Slade was glad he had a helmet on, because he felt his jaw drop just from the sight of the asari. She almost did not seem real, she was just TOO perfect to be an organic, living being. Her biotics also gave Slade another reason to immediately trust her, which only made him more inclined to care about her. Slade was broken from the spell Liara had him under as Shepard called out to him. 

 

“Ummm…Slade?” Shepard started. Slade looked over in her direction to see Doctor Chakwas was kneeling down next to the Commander with her omnitool activated. “I don’t think the good doctor has forgotten about me kidnapping you…” 

 

“No”, Karin growled. “I have not.” She injected something into Shepard’s arm which made her go limp and slump to the floor with an audible thump. Chakwas then turned her attention to Slade.

 

“Specialist Slade Jordan”, she hissed. “You WILL follow me up to the medbay without so much as a single complaint, or I shall administer an identical tranquilizer onto you. Am I clear?” Karin had so much venom in her voice that everybody in the cargo bay had stopped what they were doing and silently stared at her.

 

“Yes, ma’am” Slade obediently said. He did not even need to think of a response, Chakwas had effortlessly made her point. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Act I : Chapter IX

Act I : IX

 

SSV Normandy

 

“Doc, is this REALLY necessary?”

 

Slade Jordan was strapped into a medbay cot - for his own “safety” - and listening to another one of Doctor Chakwas’ lectures. 

 

“Yes, Slade”, Karin replied in a matter-of-factly tone. “As our illustrious Commander has demonstrated, I cannot trust the two of you to behave while you are in the same room together; therefore, yes the restraints ARE necessary. I do not want to leave the room and return to empty cots, not that I am planning to leave the room. After that ‘adventure’ you participated in and was almost trampled by a krogan, I will not leave you without supervision.” Slade pulled against his arm restraints in an overdramatic way and was rewarded with an exaggerated eye roll from Karin. He smirked and did the same with his leg restraints.

 

“Slade”, Karin said tiredly. “Please stop before I decide to sedate you.”

 

“Why doesn’t the Commander have restraints on?” Slade retorted.

 

“Because the Commander is unconscious”, Karin stated. “Would you like to join her?” Slade looked over at Shepard’s cot. She was completely still except for the movement of her chest as she breathed. Karin was finishing a final application of medigel and doing her best to prevent scarring on Shepard’s shoulder. She had a focused, but very sad expression on her majestic face: as though she enjoyed what she was doing, but hated herself for enjoying it.

 

“Do not mistake my lighthearted banter for complacency”, Karin warned. “I am still upset she took you with her. She should not have, it was careless and idiotic. I do not doubt your competence, Slade, please do not think that is why I did not want you to go along. I just did not want something like this to happen to you.”

 

“Why would it make a difference?” Slade questioned. “Would it matter if it was me who got shot in the shoulder instead? I don’t see why-

 

“Yes, Slade”, Karin interrupted without looking at him. “It does matter. The Commander chose this life. So did I. So did Ashley and Tali, as did everyone else aboard the ship. YOU did not choose this life. This is a life that you were forced to accept because not only is it far better than your old life, but going back to your old life was impossible. It was unfair of the Commander to take you without consent.” Slade could not think of anything to further his argument, so he decided it was best to stay quiet. A few moments passed as Karin finished her procedure and breathed a deep sigh. Shepard was laying down on her side so her shoulder was upwards and she was facing Slade. Her expression was not calm; in fact, she looked very troubled, and considering she was unconscious, it was not normal. She wore a look of unadulterated fear and her eyes darted around spastically under her eyelids. Karin noticed that Slade was staring at Shepard’s face and he quickly blushed and looked away. 

 

“She is no doubt having another one of her visions”, Karin explained. “I regret sedating her - I am sure the experience of whatever she is seeing is unpleasant - but it was the only way I could secure her cooperation while I operated on her shoulder. She would not sit still long enough for me to work.” Karin put on a cheeky smile. “Besides, after dragging you away without my permission, she needed some form of punishment. This seems adequate.”

 

“I won’t lie”, Slade stated. “I wanted to go. If she asked I would not have said no. It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting - especially with that krogan - but I had fun. I’d do it again if the Commander asked me to come.” Karin immediately put on a disapproving, angry gaze which made Slade quickly change his tone. “But you’re right, Doc. Commander Shepard should’ve asked for permission first.” Karin’s expression lightened by a small margin and she pursed her lips. 

 

“This isn’t about receiving my permission” Karin pointed out. “This is about you going somewhere without medical supervision.” 

 

_Ah. I see. So that’s why she’s so uptight about this._

 

“Doctor Chakwas”, Slade began. “I appreciate your concern but if- 

 

Slade cut himself off and quickly glanced over to Shepard to make sure she was actually unconscious. He was satisfied that she looked completely out and continued. 

 

“If this is about my depression”, Slade pressed on. “I’m really fine. I don’t have a death wish anymore and I don’t wake up all the time wishing I was dead. Really, I’m fine. I actually WANT to be alive now. The entire time I was down there with the Commander, for the first time I was actually afraid to die. I didn’t want to leave all this behind. I like my life.” 

 

“Slade”, Karin cautiously started. “I will admit, your mental health has drastically improved since you were brought aboard the Normandy. You do not exhibit most of the symptoms associated with deep, chronic depression as much as you did when we first met; however, you suffered from chronic, suicidal depression for the majority of your life. A few weeks of happiness is not going to erase years of depression, Slade. You ARE doing far better now, but your depression is not anywhere close to gone. It will be years before you fully recover and you are very likely to relapse, a mere trigger could cause you to fall back into your previous state. Please do not misinterpret my words, I am very glad you have improved as much as you have, but is more than-

 

Karin immediately stopped herself from talking and quickly looked away from Slade. She then stood up and walked over to the sink to remove her gloves and wash her hands up to her elbows.

 

_…What the fuck was that about?_

 

“Doctor Chakwas?” Slade demanded. “You were saying?” She did not turn around, nor did she acknowledge him. Karin simply continued to wash her hands in silence. 

 

“Doctor Chakwas?” Slade repeated in a louder voice. Again, she ignored him.

 

_Seriously? We’re going to play this game?_

 

“Are you just going to ignore me and hope I forget about this?” Slade growled.

 

“No”, Karin finally answered. She did not turn around and continued to slowly scrub her palms together under the faucet. “I have merely said too much and I am choosing not to continue.” 

 

_Seriously?_

 

“Fine”, Slade spat. “I’ll remember that line the next time you call me in for a psych evaluation.” Karin breathed out a deep, troubled sigh and finished washing her hands. She began to dry her soaked arms and seemed to take her time once again. 

 

“Slade”, Karin started quietly without turning around. “I am not purposely withholding information from you without good reason. I do not do anything without good reason. Please trust that I am simply protecting you by choosing not to continue my train of thought.” 

 

“Right”, Slade said condescendingly. “Because ignoring me is such a good way to-

 

“I am trying not to trigger you into a relapse, Slade” Karin sharply interrupted. 

 

“I know I’m damaged goods, Doc, but I’m not so fragile that I can’t handle a few words”, Slade retorted. 

 

“Slade Jordan”, Karin barked. “This is not about you being fragile!”

 

“Then tell me what this is about!” Slade shouted.

 

“Hey, sorry! Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt this heartwarming conversation-

 

Slade and Karin jumped and snapped their eyes over to Commander Shepard’s cot to see her slowly begin to sit upright. She looked at both of them and put on a small smile while giving them each a flash of her green eyes. 

 

“Commander!” Karin gasped. “I did not realize you-

 

“You didn’t realize I was eavesdropping”, Shepard interrupted. “Yes, I kinda figured that.”

 

“Commander?” Slade asked a little bit more rudely than he intended. “How much did you hear?” Shepard looked down at the floor for a moment and did not say anything. She stood up after a few moments and approached Slade’s cot, then bent down and hugged him. Slade’s face and ears burned and he felt himself turn red. He was so agitated that his mind and heart began to race and he felt another meltdown starting to drive him crazy. Slade usually did not experience a breakdown this severe when Shepard touched him, but he had not been hugged in years and it was too much for him to handle in his current state of apprehension. He was actually glad his limbs were secured to the cot, or he may have lashed out and attacked the Commander. 

 

“I heard enough”, Shepard whispered loud enough so that only Slade could hear. “Please don’t die. I don’t want you to die. You’re too special and I’d never be able to replace you.” Shepard squeezed him a little bit harder and nuzzled her head into Slade’s shoulder. Slade did not calm down, but he relaxed enough that his mind stopped racing. He was still uncomfortable being embraced in such an intimate way, but he lost the urge to lash out at the Commander. 

 

“Also”, Shepard chuckled. “If you died, I’d have a buttload of paperwork to fill out, so please don’t die. I hate paperwork.” Slade could not bring himself to laugh along with her, but he did manage a small smile. Shepard let go and stood up straight with fresh tears accumulating in the corners of her eyes. She rubbed them off with her arm and turned back to Chakwas while Slade felt a prod of guilt. 

 

_I made her cry. Everybody who knows about my depression cries. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on Karin. After all, she doesn’t do anything except care about me, just like the Commander._

 

Slade felt another prod of guilt as he instantly regretted shouting at Doctor Chakwas. 

 

“So, how about it Doctor?” Shepard inquired. “Are you going to answer Slade?” Karin paused for a moment and stared at her feet before answering.

 

“No, Commander”, Karin replied. “I am sorry, it is a matter of confidentiality. I would not have even said so much if I knew you were conscious.” Chakwas now had a tone of humility and looked very embarrassed: even slightly guilty.

 

“Slade, I am so very sorry.” Karin continued as she faced Slade. “I have breached my promise of confidentiality to you. Not only was it malpractice, but incredibly unprofessional of me to speak about such things while the Commander was present. I am deeply sorry, Slade. Please forgive me.” Doctor Chakwas looked absolutely crestfallen and humiliated, which now stabbed Slade’s feeling of guilt even harder than before. 

 

“I forgive you, Karin.” Slade said, emphasizing her first name. He wanted to give Chakwas the impression he was talking to a friend, and not his doctor. “But on the condition that you also forgive me for being so rude to you. You didn’t deserve it, I was just being an ass.” He then gave Karin the most genuine smile he could muster, which Karin could not help but return with her own smile.

 

“Well!” Shepard quipped. “I’m glad we’re all best friends again! Anyway, I should probably-

 

“Also”, Slade interrupted. “I give Commander Zoey Shepard permission to access all my medical records and to be present for this conversation, and any future conversations. Now, please answer my question, Karin, what is this REALLY about?” Shepard instantly shut her mouth and joined Slade in turning her attention to Chakwas. The Doctor took a huge, long breath of resignation and rolled her eyes. 

 

“There”, she uttered. “This is why I should not allow the two of you to be in the same room together. You two cause far too much trouble. Very well, Slade. I do not wish you to be outside my area of supervision because I am afraid your biotic potential will manifest and you will be unable to control it.” Slade blinked and thought to himself for a moment before attempting a response: he really did not expect to hear that. 

 

“Is this because I don’t have those implants you were talking about?” Slade inquired.

 

“Yes”, Karin answered. “And also because you are not trained and have never channeled your potential before. As I said to you before, without implants or training, your potential may manifest completely out of your control and you will not know how to respond correctly. If your biotics were to manifest under supervision, at the very least someone would be able to help you, or sedate you if it came to that.” Slade shivered and Karin obviously noticed because she immediately changed her tone.

 

“Please do not take that the wrong way, Slade.” Karin quickly reassured. “There is nothing wrong with you. As I said, your biotics are normal; however, you may end up hurting yourself if they manifest at the wrong time. You have been suppressing your potential for an obscene amount of time, so your biotics suddenly breaking out is not a question of ‘if’, but a question of ‘when’. And we would all prefer if you were not in a dangerous situation when it DOES eventually happen.” Shepard caught Slade’s eye and gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“Your biotics are not a curse”, Shepard reinforced. “They’re not a disability, or a crutch, or anything like that. They’re a gift! Just like mine. I have implants, Slade. It’s normal, especially since I use my biotics in combat. You shouldn’t be ashamed of them. I know you’ve been really hesitant about using your biotics, but why don’t you just give it a try? Just long enough for you to learn how to channel it? That way you won’t hurt yourself, and once you can control it, you don’t even have to use your potential if you don’t want to. But would it really hurt to try?” Slade could not come up with an answer, he just did not know what to say.

 

“No one can make this choice for you, Slade”, Karin added. “This is completely YOUR decision. We’ve given you our advice, the rest is up to you.” Slade was silent for a few minutes while the Commander and Chakwas patiently waited for him to think. Shepard sat back down on her cot and activated her omnitool, Karin returned to her desk.

 

_Well, another life changing decision. No pressure._

 

Slade was silent for what felt like an eternity before an idea finally occurred to him. He smirked to himself and Shepard looked over and noticed his mischievous smile. She caught Slade’s eye and they laughed together.

 

“What, may I ask, are you two laughing about?” Karin implored. 

 

_She’s gonna love this one._

 

“So”, Slade began. “If I agree to training…does that mean you’ll let me go on missions with the Commander?” Karin’s eyes widened in shock and the colour drained from her face. Shepard broke out in hysterical laughter.

 

“Well”, Shepard laughed. “It would be nice to have some help the next time we run into a biotic krogan! Imagine if Slade was trained in biotics too! We could probably take on at least two more of those guys!” The colour returned to Karin’s face, but she was now red with unmistakable fury.

 

“You, two”, Karin hissed. “You, two shall never be allowed in the same room together ever again.”


	12. Act I : Chapter X

Act I : X

 

SSV Normandy

 

Slade Jordan was happy to be invited to the debriefing in the comm room. The entire team was seated in a circle facing the centre so any one person could see everyone else and speak without needing to shout. Slade was seated next to Ashley and Garrus, while Wrex was on the opposite side of the room sitting next to the Commander. It was Shepard’s idea and Slade was more than happy to oblige, he would much rather receive angry glares than sit next to the towering giant: his track record with biotic krogan was not exactly stellar. 

 

“Welcome to the team, Liara!” Shepard beamed. “We’re glad to have you! I know you didn’t really have time to grab your things since we had to outrun a volcano, so we’ll get you settled in and requisition some stuff for you! I just need you to see Doctor Chakwas for a brief examination before you do anything else. Specialist Jordan will walk you there. Unless there is anything else, the rest of the team is dismissed! Liara and Slade can stay with me while we discuss a few things.” Everybody else stood up to leave and Shepard beckoned Slade and Liara over to her as she was standing in the centre of the room. 

 

“Slade!” Shepard bubbled. “Please show Liara to our favourite doctor and get her settled in! I still need to brief the council and finish a few reports. I’ll find you two later!” Shepard waved goodbye and walked over to the comm console while Slade led Liara into the bridge area. 

 

“Is she always so…energetic?” Liara remarked. “She’s a very nice woman but I feel as if she is abnormally elevated.” 

 

“Actually”, Slade teased. “She’s quite exhausted today. You should see her when she’s excited…” Liara’s blue eyes widened in shock and she seemed embarrassed for asking.

 

“Hey, relax”, Slade reassured. “I was joking. She is very nice and she is usually a bit more on the energetic side. You’ll get used to it but I think you’ll like the Commander.”

 

“I think I already do”, Liara said quietly in her mystifying voice.

 

Slade waited outside while Liara was in the medbay with Doctor Chakwas, he did not need to be told the importance of confidentiality. While playing around with his omnitool, his heart stopped as he felt heavy footsteps moving towards him.

 

_Oh shit. Only one thing on this ship is heavy enough to do that._

 

Wrex was walking towards him and Slade was far too afraid to look up, so he continued to mind his own business. By the time Wrex stopped in front of him and Slade could see his large feet a few paces in front of his own, he had stopped breathing. The krogan had a very particular scent - almost like moist concrete in the rain on a humid afternoon, except the concrete was covered in rotten seaweed and wafted a sour odour - and Slade would have held his breath anyway, regardless of his paralyzing fear. Slade continued to focus all his attention on his omnitool and ignored Wrex.

 

_Maybe he’ll leave if I pretend he’s not there for long enough. Maybe. If I’m lucky. Ugh who the hell am I kidding?_

 

“I was right about you, human”, Wrex growled in a deep, threatening voice. Slade’s bones seemed to tremble in response to the krogan’s rumbling speech. “You are worthless, and I should kill you right now, but you’re not worth the ammo or the effort. You are just not worth killing.” Slade could feel himself shaking now, but he was still too frozen to call for help.

 

“I listened to the entire debrief”, Wrex rumbled. “And all I understood was that Shepard was the only one fighting that krogan. The quarian and the other human are excused, after all they are not biotics. But you? You just stood there and did nothing. Nothing. She brought another biotic, but you just stood and watched as she fought the krogan alone. If the Commander was killed by that krogan, it would have been entirely your fault. Do not even dare try to take credit for putting down that krogan, you essentially finished off wounded prey: stole a kill from someone else. Back on my planet, people who stand around and do nothing are worthless. If you cannot hunt, you build. If you cannot build, you repair. If you cannot repair, you guard. If you cannot guard, then why would we keep you around? You, human, are worse than nothing. You are merely a burden on those around you. If we were on Tuchanka, you would be exiled from the clan and doomed to wander a wasteland as a clanless waste of life. I do not know why the Commander keeps you around, but she is making a mistake. It is only a matter of time before you get someone killed, and for your sake, you better hope it’s me: or I’ll kill you myself.” Wrex stormed away towards the elevator leaving Slade alone to recover from his encounter. 

 

_I can’t even be angry or upset. Everything he said was true. I did nothing to help the Commander. If she died it would have been my fault for not helping her. I am worse than nothing._

 

Slade slumped to the floor and just leaned on the wall for a moment. He was upset that Wrex had done nothing except tell the truth. Slade knew there was nothing to debate or argue, he was simply correct.

 

_That’s why he doesn’t like me. I’m useless._

 

“Specialist Jordan?”

 

Slade jumped back to his feet and his heart exploded out of his chest as Doctor T’soni entered his vision. 

 

“I am very sorry”, she apologized. “I did not intend to startle you. Is everything okay?”  


“Yeah, yeah I’m fine”, Slade lied. “You just caught me off guard. By the way, it’s just Slade to you. You really don’t need to refer to me as Specialist, I’m not even technically in the Alliance.” Liara gave him a tender smile.

 

“Alright, Slade”, she replied. “But only on the condition that you refer to me as Liara, and not Doctor T’soni.” Slade returned her smile.

 

“Deal”, he confirmed. “Now, let’s show you around." 

 

The tour was uneventful, but Slade did the same thing that Pressly had done for him. He introduced Liara to anyone who had a spare moment, and showed her everywhere Pressly had shown him. Liara was a very quiet person, but also very polite and warm. She seemed like a person who was not capable of being rude or formulating an insult. By the end of the tour, Slade was comfortable around her enough to ask her a few questions. 

 

“When did you find out you were a biotic?” Slade inquired. Liara gave him a very puzzled look. 

 

“Excuse me?” She questioned. “I do not understand the question, Slade. Could you please clarify?” Slade was slightly taken back and did not know how to make himself more clear.

 

“Ummm…” Slade began. “I guess I’m asking when did your powers first manifest?” Liara’s puzzled expression did not dissipate; in fact, she may have been more confused than before.

 

“That is a strange question, is it not?” Liara asked. “But I shall answer regardless. I was not old enough to remember exactly when my biotics first flared to life, but it must have been sometime before I turned four years old, because I remember my fourth birthday fairly well.” 

 

_You were that young?!_

 

“Oh, wow”, Slade commented. “That’s really young. If you don’t mind me asking another question, do you have biotic implants?” Liara’s confused look turned into an expression of understanding and realization.

 

“Ah, I see”, she stated. “You are not familiar with Asari culture, allow me to clarify a few things for you, Slade. Asari are all naturally biotic; in fact, to the best of my knowledge, we are the only species in existence where biotic potential is not a random occurrence in individuals of our species. All Asari possess some manner of biotic potential, however the level of inherent potential varies from person to person as everyone is unique. Some Asari boast powerful biotic power while some Asari may only be able to perform very basic tasks. Due to our inherent biotic potential, biotic implants are not necessary for most Asari and it is very uncommon for an Asari to be implanted with such things. From what I understand, biotic implants in most species enhance and amplify biotic potential, allowing the individual to be more powerful and effective. Asari on the other hand, use implants in rare circumstances to actually suppress our biotic potential as some individuals cannot control vast amounts of power without injuring themselves, or others. So, to answer your question, Slade, no I do not have any biotic implants. As with most Asari, I learned how to control my biotics through our education system, which includes biotic training in the curriculum.” 

 

_Is she serious? Of course she is. Liara probably doesn’t even know how to lie and make it convincing. Holy shit. Being a biotic is NORMAL for an Asari, they even teach it in schools!_

 

“Am I safe to conclude that you did not receive biotic training through your schooling, Slade?” Liara inquired. 

 

_What? How did you know?_

 

“You know I’m a biotic?” Slade asked as politely as he could.

 

“Am I correct in that regard?” Liara replied. “When I used my biotics to lift you and the Commander onto the ship, I felt the both of you slightly resist my powers. The only way that could happen is if you were both biotics. I know the Commander is indeed a biotic, but was I correct in assuming you are also a biotic?” 

 

“I am a biotic” Slade confirmed. 

 

_Wow. I said that very casually. Almost TOO casually. I guess it’s okay with Liara, but I should definitely be careful when I say it. I don’t need the wrong people finding out, that’s for sure._

 

“You’re right”, Slade continued. “And no, my school definitely did not teach me anything about it. Let’s just say everyone was happier if the whole ‘biotic’ thing was never brought up in conversation.”

 

“I am sorry to hear that, Slade”, Liara soothed. “It is unfortunate that people are still very ignorant about things that are not fully understood. I hope you were not treated unfairly because you were considered different.”

 

_Oh, if you only knew…_

 

“May I ask when your biotic potential first became apparent?” Liara asked.

 

_Damn it. I really don’t want to answer that, but I don’t think I have a choice. Liara is too nice for me to ignore the question and she’s answered all of mine. I guess answering is the least I could do._

 

“Ummm…” Slade cautiously started. “I was eight.” Liara kept her intently focused blue eyes on his and she did not say anything, she was obviously expecting him to elaborate. 

 

“I was at school when it happened.” Slade grudgingly continued. “It didn’t really end well.” Again, Liara was silent and waiting for him to continue his story. Slade sighed and conceded.

 

“Tell you what” Slade bargained. “If you are seriously interested in my life’s story, I’ll tell you everything you want to know. In return, would you be willing to train me in biotics?” The Asari gave him a quizzical flash of blue eyes before closing her eyelids in thought. 

 

“Well”, Liara said without opening her eyes. “I will admit, I know next to nothing about humans. Not only is my curiosity as a researcher peaked, but you are the first human I’ve met to willingly offer to quench my thirst for questions.” She opened her mystical blue eyes again before continuing. “Here is my offer: I will train you in biotics to the best of my ability, if you answer all my questions in return to the best of your ability. Would that satisfy you, Slade?” Slade thought for a moment, then surprised himself by giving the Doctor a mischievous smile.

 

“Deal”, Slade quipped. “Tell you what, Liara. I’ll also throw in a few lessons on how to handle a pistol properly, if you think you’d benefit from such knowledge.” It was Liara’s turn to flash a mischievous smile that was so uncharacteristic of her, Slade almost felt worried. 


	13. Act I : Chapter XI

Act I : XI

 

Eden Prime Colony, seventeen years ago

 

Slade Jordan was standing in the middle of the playground, surrounded by a large group of kids that all mirrored the exact expression of shocked disbelief that he had on his face. Most of the group had seen exactly what had transpired, while the others had joined the circle around Slade attempting to find out what happened. Slade almost did not believe it himself, and he had done it. The monkey bars that had once stood in the middle of the larger sandpit now lay in the sand: a mangled piece of indistinguishable, warped scrap metal. Slade had mauled it beyond repair without so much as touching it, but he had absolutely no idea how. 

 

It was a normal, boring Tuesday - it was supposed to be, until now - and Tuesday was dodgeball day for Slade and his friends. Slade was using the monkey bars as cover from incoming rubber balls when he realized Jarrod had thrown a good one, and it would not be subdued by the metal he had chosen to hide behind. Without thinking, Slade closed his eyes while throwing his arms out in front of his face instinctively to shield his nose, which he had gotten bloody on previous occasions and did not wish to experience the sensation again. He had felt a warm pulse surge through his arms and simply assumed the incoming missile had bounced off them; but when he opened his eyes, the monkey bars that had once offered him protection now lay broken in front of him. Slade did not have a clue what happened, but somehow knew without a doubt that he had accomplished this feat. Apparently, everyone else standing around him seemed to agree with that conclusion. One boy - Ethan - finally decided to step forward and break the silence.

 

“Slade, how did you do that?" he asked. Slade just stared over in Ethan's direction and said nothing. He had no idea what to say and was too shocked to even attempt formulating a response. Ethan opened his mouth again but before he could start voicing his thoughts, Mrs Dell - the sixth grade teacher - had made her way over and interrupted the trance all the kids seemed to be in. She took one look at the ruined heap of metal and immediately ordered all the kids to go back to their classrooms. Recess had officially been ended early. Kids on the other ends of the playground who had somehow missed what happened groaned and complained as they were corralled back to their classrooms. Nobody said a word to Slade as he made it back to his classroom, none of his classmates even looked at him either. Slade sat at his desk in silence and stared down at his feet, occasionally looking up to catch his friends staring at him before they quickly looked away. Ben was the only one who kept his gaze and instead of looking away, he gave Slade a soothing look which almost made him smile.

 

_Thanks Ben. You've always got my back, even when you have no idea what's going on. You have no idea how much I needed that right now._

 

Slade was almost about to give Ben a smile when Miss Ryans walked into the classroom with the Principal. Miss Ryans was in her thirties and was quite skinny with a long elegant neck. She resembled a swan which Slade remembered seeing in a documentary about avian animals that lived back on Earth. She was not prone to anger but definitely did not have a lot of patience. Principal Steven was never known to be mean or strict. In fact, he was a warm, elderly man who radiated "grandpa" and you just could not be intimidated by him even if he looked like he wanted to murder you; but today was different. Although the principal looked like his warm usual self, Slade was terrified to see him because he knew he was the reason the principal decided to visit the class. 

 

"Slade", Principal Steven started. "Please follow me. Don't worry you're not in trouble. I promise. Jarrod, Ben, Bradley and Dale. Would you also be so kind as to join us?" Slade could not help but tremble as he stood up in his chair, but the manner in which the principal addressed him was just so warm he really did not mind going along with the orders he was given. He heard the screech of other chairs being moved across the floor as his friends also stood up to follow the principal but the silence was broken by an accusing outburst. A boy named Richard had also stood up and raised his voice.

 

"Hey! It's not their fault!" Richard insisted. "It was all Slade! I saw it! The others shouldn't get in trouble just because Slade is a freak! He's the one you want! He's the freak here!" Slade winced at being called "freak". Was he a freak? If he had seen someone else bend metal without touching it, would he arrive at the same conclusion? Slade had never liked Richard. He had always bullied him and made his life difficult; almost to the point where he would dread coming to school. He had no idea what he did or did not do to get Richard to despise him so much, but today was the day Slade finally reciprocated his undeserved distaste. Slade now despised Richard as much as Richard despised him. "Freak". Slade would get him back for that one. Principal Steven just looked at Richard with a slightly less warm expression. 

 

"Richard", he started. "Please do not ever call ANYONE that word ever again. Please take a seat. Now." It was not a request, and Richard quickly took the hint. He sat down and stared down at his feet. If Slade was not unsettled, he would have smirked; however this was unfortunately not the time to be smug. The group followed Principal Steven without a word but there was a tense atmosphere of anticipation around them as they walked: they all wanted to know exactly what was about to happen. They arrived at the principal's office and were beckoned to take a seat in the small waiting area. After sitting down Principal Steven knelt down in front of the boys.

 

"As I promised, none of you are in trouble", he said with his soft, calming voice. "But I do need to know exactly what happened. I will call each of you into the office one by one, starting with you, young Mr. Jarrod. The rest of you, please wait here quietly until you're called. If you need to go to the bathroom, just let Miss Travis know. She's just over there by the reception office." He then stood up and opened his office door, beckoning Jarrod to follow him. The door closed behind both of them and they sat in silence. The silence remained, even after Jarrod left the office and walked towards the main area of the offices. Dale and Bradley were called into the office in the exact same manner and also left for the reception area in complete silence. They did not even pause to look at Slade; it was as if they had stopped acknowledging his existence. Finally Ben was called in. He stood up and looked down at Slade.

 

"Don't worry, Slade”, he whispered with a reassuring tone. "I don't know what the others said, but I'm not gonna snitch on you. I know you'd do the same for me. I'm not gonna get you in trouble. Hang in there buddy I'll be out before you know it." He turned around and entered the office before Slade could even begin with a "thank you". 

 

_I really don't deserve a best friend like that. I hope his loyalty to me doesn't end up getting him in trouble. I'd never forgive myself._

 

Slade sat in silence while his best friend was in the office and he could not help but brainstorm what could be happening.

 

_What are they doing? What form of interrogation is going on in there? Would Ben tell the truth or does his loyalty extend to lying straight to the principal? What if they punish Ben for sticking up for me? I can't let him get in trouble just for being a good friend. I need to do something._

 

Slade wanted to stand up but before he could he heard the distinct _clack_ of fine leather shoes walking on polished floor. In fact, he heard more than one set of footsteps and looked over to the main office area. Slade’s father was walking towards the office door, followed closely by his mother. His mother instantly knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a warm hug. She always smelled like peaches and he loved her more than anything. Her light, fair skin always glowed when she smiled and beamed her piercing green eyes. Slade loved those eyes; after all, he had inherited them from her. His father was dark skinned and always looked serious; moreover, Slade did not ever catch him do more than smirk. He never seemed to smile and was always a visage of judgement, with his large, brown eyes constantly watching and observing without uttering a single word. He looked down at Slade with a cold stare, obviously expecting an explanation for being called to the school. 

 

“What happened, son?” He asked. Before Slade could even attempt an answer, the principal’s door opened and everyone looked over to see Ben briskly walk past towards the main office without looking at anyone. 

 

_Oh no._

 

Principal Steven had a very grim face as he beckoned Slade’s parents into the office. Slade stood up to follow but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Wait here”, Slade’s father ordered. Slade’s mother followed him in without a word, leaving Slade alone in silence. 


	14. Act I : Chapter XII

Act I : XII

 

Eden Prime Colony, fifteen years ago

 

Slade Jordan hated seeing his mother cry, mainly because it was usually his fault. His life was absolutely terrible, and had only gotten worse after the playground incident a few years ago. He had no friends, as nobody wanted to talk to him anymore; in fact, everybody seemed to hate him and wanted nothing to do with him. His mother was the only one left who did not resent him for being a biotic. Slade had managed not to bend anymore playground items, but the damage was already done. With all the hardships already present, watching his mother cry was absolutely unbearable. Slade’s mother was sitting on the living room couch, hunched over and bawling uncontrollably. In her hands was a small wood carving which was attached to a thin necklace. Her husband had given it to her the day after they were engaged to be married, and he had another one exactly like it which he wore around his neck in the form of a chain necklace. Both of them were a small carving of a teddybear, chiselled out of authentic mahogany from Earth; however, Slade’s father had taken his with him when he stormed out of the house a month ago and vowed never to return. 

 

Slade’s mother had tried her best to convince Slade it was not his fault, but was unsuccessful because Slade knew without a doubt that it was indeed his fault. Slade’s father had not said a word to him since the playground incident, and also rarely talked to his wife. The only times the married couple had talked to each other was when they argued at the top of their lungs, almost always fighting over something that concerned Slade. Eventually, the man had enough and simply decided leaving was the best outcome. His wife disagreed, but apparently her opinion carried very little weight when he made his decision to abandon the family. Slade’s mother cried almost everyday, she tried to do so when Slade was at school, but was sometimes unable. Although she constantly assured him that she would never stop loving him, Slade always felt an overwhelming sense of guilt whenever she cried, which was made even worse when he learned there was nothing he could do except watch and hope she would eventually cheer up. She never did.

 

It was a cold, dreary day when Slade returned home from school to find his mother collapsed in a puddle of her own blood. She had gashed open her own throat and bled to death in the middle of the kitchen, causing a pool of blood to accumulate on the kitchen floor. Slade was completely silent and did not move, or utter a single sound when he found her. He simply just gazed with an empty expression as the only person in the galaxy who still loved him was taken away from him. There was no point crying for help, as there was nobody to listen or even care. Slade slept on the cold, wet kitchen floor that night next to his mother. He was thoroughly drenched in her blood in the morning, but could not bring himself to leave her. Nobody cared if he did not attend school on some days, they were probably happier when he was absent. He stayed home the next day as well, and spent the entire day lying next to his mother’s body. The stench of blood had become odourless to Slade, as he no longer managed to distinguish the scent. On the third day of his mother’s death, nature had taken its course and her body had started to waft a decomposing haze. Slade cried for the first time since his mother died as he stood in front of his home and watched as it burned to the ground. He knew nobody in the colony would give his loving mother a proper funeral, so he gave her a proper service himself. Slade’s only regret was not being able to give his mother more. She had cared for him and loved him when no one else would. She deserved more than this, and Slade was heartbroken he was unable to do enough for her. 

 

Slade was scolded and chastised as the other colonists had arrived to extinguish the flames before the fire spread. By the time the fire was under control, the home was barely recognizable as it was nothing more than smouldering ruins. Slade was yelled at for what felt like hours as he just blankly stared at the remains of his home. When everyone had left and Slade was finally alone again, he picked up a backpack he had filled with everything in the house he had wanted to keep and slung it onto his back. He walked for a few hours to the spaceport and found an old hangar bay that was certainly unused. This would be his home for the next fifteen years, furnished with nothing except his backpack and sorrow.

 

/

 

SSV Normandy, present day

 

Slade Jordan sat in Liara’s office in silence as he looked down to the floor and observed every tiny detail of his boots. When he looked back up at the Asari who was sitting at her desk in front of him, he saw she had fresh tears streaming down from her extravagant blue eyes, to her beautiful, soft face.

 

“That’s what happened to my parents”, Slade finished. “My father is still out there somewhere - dead or alive - while my mother lies in an unmarked, scorched grave which is the best I could give her. From what you’ve told me, Liara, your mother sounds like she’s a very nice lady and I think Saren is holding her with him against her will. I hope we can find her soon and reunite the two of you. I think there are enough dead mothers in the galaxy.” Liara did not say anything, she just continued to pitifully stare at Slade with tears falling down her cheeks. Slade looked back down to the floor.

 

_Shit, what could she say? What would I say if I was in her seat? Maybe it’s better if we just don’t say anything._

 

Slade continued to stare at the ground, listening to an occasional sniffle from Liara. When she stood up, he looked up to see her walk towards him and kneel in front of him, fresh tears still streaming down her face.

 

“Slade”, Liara sobbed. “No ten year old should ever have to experience such an ordeal. I am so sorry I asked. Had I known the story you were going to spin for me, I would never have asked. Please forgive me.”

 

“There’s nothing to forgive, Liara”, Slade replied. “After all, we did have an agreement. I would answer all your questions. I’m just fulfilling my end of the bargain. Is there anything else you want to ask me?” Liara vigorously shook her head and stood up to walk over to her desk. She returned and knelt back down in front of Slade, pressing a small pebble into his hands.

 

“It’s time to fulfill my half of the deal”, Liara sniffled. “This is a small stone from my very first excavation site. I always keep it with me to remind me that regardless of how successful I become, I must never forget my humble beginning. I want you to hold it in the palm of your hand.”

 

“Liara”, Slade started. “What’s this supposed-

 

Slade was interrupted as Liara quickly hushed him by placing her hands on his and moving the pebble into his open palm. He felt his hand tremble from the sudden physical contact but was too emotionally exhausted to feel a meltdown starting, so he looked down at the pebble and ignored his racing mind.

 

“Now”, Liara began. “I want you to try and lift the stone with your biotics. It will not be easy, and I do not expect anything to happen right at this moment, but please try your best.” Slade obediently attempted to try and lift the pebble. He tried picturing it hovering upwards in his mind, he tried to use his palm to propel the stone upwards, he even attempted forcefully straining his brain to hurl the stone to the ceiling: nothing worked. 

 

“I can’t”, Slade admitted. Liara placed a hand on his shoulder this time and he felt a warm pulse surge through his body. He thought he was experiencing another meltdown, but the sensation in his body was like nothing he had ever felt before. He felt an invisible force inside his body on the verge of bursting through his veins. It felt like every single fibre in his body was pulsing in unison and he was about to explode. Slade looked at Liara’s hand on his shoulder and finally noticed that her hand was emanating a blue, biotic aura. 

 

_Wait a minute…_

 

Slade froze and felt his jaw drop as he realized the blue aura was not coming from Liara, it was coming from HIM. His entire body was radiating with invisible energy and a blue miasma surrounded him. 

 

“You CAN, Slade”, Liara hummed. “You just need to stop holding yourself back. Now, please lift the stone.” Slade tried again, but the pebble refused to budge. He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the Asari.

 

“I told you”, Slade quipped. “I can’t.”

 

“And I told you”, Liara retorted. “You can. But you must stop holding back. I can feel your potential, Slade, and I know you are stopping yourself. Do not hold back. Please. Lift. The. Stone.” Slade sighed in defeat and tried again.

 

_Am I holding back? I’ve never done this before… how could I be holding back? I don’t know HOW to hold back._

 

Again, the pebble lay on his palm refusing to move. Liara picked up the pebble and stood up.

 

“Very well, Slade”, she announced. “We’ll do this your way.” Liara took a few steps backwards until she was standing at the other end of the room. She then lifted the pebble with her biotics and beckoned Slade to stand up, which he curiously did.

 

“Catch”, Liara hummed. She then hurled the pebble towards him in the form of an intimidating biotic torpedo. Slade did not expect her to do such a thing; therefore, he had no time to react and did the only thing his brain gave him time to do: he closed his eyes and flung his arms out in front of himself to protect his face. Slade felt the same warm pulse surge through his arms as he shielded himself from Liara’s attack.

 

“Very good, Slade.” Liara complimented. Slade opened his eyes and felt his jaw drop once more. He had caught the pebble with his biotics and it was hovering in front of his arms in a blue miasma. Slade could not help but smile. 


	15. Act I : Chapter XIII

Act I : XIII

 

Asteroid X57

 

Slade Jordan refused to look up, so he continued to stare down at the Mako’s navigation console. He knew if he looked up, he would be tempted to stare over in Wrex’s direction and catch his threatening gaze, because he felt the krogan’s eyes digging into his back and knew he was being watched intently. The situation was even worse than usual because Garrus and Shepard could feel the tension and kept themselves quiet the entire ride, as nobody wanted to talk and encourage Wrex to say something. 

 

_I’d honestly rather take on an army of batarian terrorists singlehandedly, than spend another minute in this piece of shit with Wrex._

 

A proximity warning flared up on the navigation console: that engineer was right, the next torch was surrounded by a minefield.

 

“Commander”, Slade called. “There’s a minefield ahead. The engineer was right, the Mako will set them off. We’re gonna have to disembark.”

 

“Alright, people!” Shepard ordered. “We’re walking.” The party parked the Mako and began marching over to the edge of the minefield, which was dotted with large, anti-vehicle charges. The mines were not exactly invisible, but would have definitely blown the Mako into orbit if they went off. 

 

“Slade?” Shepard asked. “Will only vehicles set them off, or can we set them off too?” Wrex huffed and pushed his way to the front of the group. He aimed his Claymore shotgun at the ground and fired, startling everyone and sending rubble flying in all directions. Wrex bent down to pick up a rock that was loosened from the blast and hurled it into the minefield, causing two or three mines to explode.

 

“There’s your answer, Commander.” Wrex rumbled. “Don’t hug the fucking things and we’ll be fine.” The rest of the party seemed content with the conclusion and followed Wrex’s lead as he walked slowly through the minefield, one step at a time. 

 

“Wrex, are you sure you want to lead?” Garrus teased. “A bigger target is more likely to set something off!”

 

“Last time I checked”, Wrex retorted. “We don’t have a fucking pyjak to send out first. I bet I could take a mine - or two - and keep walking without a scratch, but I can’t say the same for the rest of you. So yeah, I’ll lead. Just don’t fall behind, I’m not coming back for anyone.” Wrex had a helmet on, but Slade was certain Wrex looked over at him when he said that. The mines continued to emit an unnerving beeping noise, which became more intense the closer Slade got to one of them. He figured they were about halfway through the minefield when they came under fire by another squad of batarians. 

 

“Fucking batarians”, Wrex growled. “What’s the plan, Shepard?! We’re exposed out here and it’s only a matter of time before they land a few shots!”

 

“Return fire!” Shepard ordered. “But keep moving! You’re right, we can’t stay here!”

 

Slade primed his Paladin and followed the party as they upped their pace through the minefield, following their krogan escort. Garrus fired a few shots at the batarians, but even he was not able to hit anything. 

 

“I can’t get a shot, Shepard!” Garrus yelled. “Not while moving like this!”

 

“Come on, Garrus!” Shepard taunted. “Even I’m hitting them!” Slade knew he would not be able to land any shots either, so he focussed on moving out of the minefield instead of wasting his ammo. 

 

“Shit!” Wrex cursed. “Watch out, ladies! We got rocket launchers!” A cascading explosion sounded off somewhere behind Slade as soon as Wrex made his announcement: there were indeed rocket launchers. 

 

“Double time it!” Shepard roared. “We need to get outta this minefield, NOW!” Wrex set off in a full sprint while the party followed suit, hoping the krogan was actually watching for mines and not blindly running forward. They were now close enough to see the rocket wielding batarians reloading their launchers, which meant two things: the team was close enough to shoot them accurately, and also close enough to be hit squarely by rockets. 

 

“Take out the launchers!” Shepard bellowed. “NOW! Before they blow us up!” The party stopped moving and unloaded their weapons into the group of batarians. Most of them went down after the volley of gunfire, but one lone rocket managed to make it out of the skirmish, and headed directly towards Slade and Garrus.

 

“Ah, crap”, Garrus sighed. “MOVE!” Slade and Garrus dived in opposite directions, throwing themselves into the ground and closely evading the rocket. It soared past them and set off a few mines further away. Slade gasped in relief, but was quickly subdued by a very loud, erratic beeping emanating a few feet away from him. He looked up to see an anti-vehicle mine - close enough for him to reach out and grab with his arm - which caused him to freeze in fear. 

 

_Oh. Well…fuck._

 

/

 

Commander Zoey Shepard’s heart was racing in panic.

 

_Oh no…this is NOT good…_

 

“Slade, don’t move!” She barked. “Whatever you do, DON’T MOVE! We’ll figure something out!” Slade did not say anything, but did not attempt to move; in fact, he did not seem to be breathing and lay absolutely still. 

 

“Commander!” Garrus called. “The engineer mentioned there would be a console to deactivate the mines somewhere! We need to find it! FAST!” Zoey used her biotics to create a barrier around Slade and poured all her power into sustaining it, no matter what happened. 

 

“Go!” Zoey yelled. “Quick! Find it!” Garrus rushed off towards the fusion torch control centre while Shepard and Wrex stayed near Slade. “I don’t suppose you could help me out?” She asked when she caught Wrex’s eye.

 

“Why should I?” Wrex demanded. “I say we leave him behind. He’s already dead, so why are we-

“Shut up”, Zoey spat. “If you’re not going to help, then shut up.” She was absolutely furious after what Wrex said, and if she was not pouring all her power into keeping the barrier around Slade, she would have given Wrex a few encouraging words of leadership. “If that was you, would you want us to leave you behind?” Wrex let out a booming laugh.

 

“If that was me down there”, Wrex chuckled. “I’d tell you to put a bullet through my head and carry on. I don’t want to live if I’m going to be that useless.”

 

_Asshole._

 

“Nevermind”, Zoey hissed. “Forget I asked, I don’t actually value your opinions anymore.” Wrex was silent for a moment, then disengaged his shotgun and slung it behind his back. He then groaned and began walking over to Slade in a dangerously brisk pace.

 

_Wait. WAIT. What the hell are you doing now?!_

 

“WREX!” She screamed. “What the hell are-

 

Wrex marched straight through Zoey’s barrier and reached down to grab Slade around the waist with one arm. He then flung Slade away from the beeping mine and he landed facedown in front of Zoey’s boots. Zoey looked back up at Wrex with a bewildered expression under her helmet and heard him mutter “fucking idiot”, before the mine exploded and engulfed Wrex in smoke. 

 

/

 

_Oh, God…_

 

Slade Jordan looked up just in time to catch a brief glimpse of Wrex before he was overtaken by grey smoke and rubble. His towering silhouette was barely visible under all the smoke, and Slade wondered if his eyes were being deceived, or trying too see if Wrex was actually standing there. Suddenly, the giant shadow started to move towards him and Shepard, and Wrex slowly emerged without so much as a scratch. 

 

“Oh, thank God…” Slade exhaled. 

 

“Wait…”, Shepard began mischievously. “Were you actually worried about Wrex? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you actually seemed upset for a minute there.” 

 

“No!” Slade quickly lied. “I wasn’t worried…I just didn’t want another death on my conscience.” 

 

“Another?” Shepard questioned. 

 

_Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that._

 

Before Slade could say something, Wrex had reached him and grappled him by the chestplate. 

 

“Do you remember what I told you, runt?” He growled. “You’re laughably useless, and one day, you’re going to get someone killed. It was almost me, if I wasn’t krogan that damn mine would have probably blown me into the void. That was your one chance. If you manage to do something even stupider before this mission is over, I’ll put my boot so far up-

 

“Wrex, that’s enough.” Shepard cut in. “Slade didn’t ask you to save him and neither did I. You chose to throw him out of the way, so why are you giving him grief now?”

 

“Because”, Wrex pressed on. “If good old Uncle Urdnot wasn’t here, this runt would still be raining out of the sky in small, red chunks. I’m not always going to be standing around, waiting to pull his ass out of the fire. He needs to learn to be USEFUL.” 

 

“If you don’t mind me butting in…” Everybody looked over at Garrus who had materialized without anyone seeing him return. “I deactivated the mines and it’s safe to cross back over to the Mako once we deal with this torch. See, Wrex? If you had waited a few minutes, you wouldn’t have needed to almost die heroically. ALMOST.” Wrex huffed and bumped past Slade.

 

“Well?” Wrex quipped. “What are we waiting for?” He began walking over to the fusion torch control centre and the rest of the party followed closely. 

 

_I hate the giant bastard, but he’s right. If he wasn’t here, I’d probably be dead. I guess the only way to stop him from constantly bullying me is to prove I’m not entirely useless. At least he’s not a complete asshole, at the end of the day, he DID save my life. Now I owe him my life…fucking perfect…_

 


	16. Act I : Chapter XIV

Act I : XIV

 

Asteroid X57

 

_Holy shit…_

 

Slade Jordan was covered in batarian entrails, and was trying as hard as he possibly could to avoid vomiting inside his helmet; however, he was in a safe environment, and disengaged his helmet’s airlock seal in the event of catastrophe. The batarian extremist had exploded into small globules of meat and blood, and whether or not he deserved such a gruesome death was an unnecessary debate. 

 

The batarian had vaulted over the crate Slade was hiding behind while he was reloading, and tackled him to the ground. While locked in the struggle, Slade tried to reach for his pistol that had slid a few feet away from him, while the batarian had abandoned his rifle and drew a large knife from his boot. He brought the knife down towards Slade’s neck with all his might and Slade only narrowly managed to move his head away in time to feel the blade whiz past his ear. In his panicked state, Slade thrust his arm up into the batarian’s stomach, attempting to push him off; instead, the batarian exploded into a bloody mess as Slade’s biotics had unintentionally flared up. He continued to lay on the floor in shock, then slowly got to his feet and wiped the blood and bone off his helmet’s visor, before retrieving his M-77. A very audible, disgusting squelching sound became louder as Wrex walked towards him, his boots thumping through the gory mulch spread all over the metallic floor. 

 

_Oh, fuck me, that horrible sound! Ugh, it’s disgusting!_

 

Slade’s stomach began to lurch violently as Wrex reached him.

 

“Well, well, well…” Wrex hummed. “Look at the mess you made…I’ll admit, I’m impressed, runt. Keep this up and you might-

 

Slade stopped listening and began unfastening his helmet seals as fast as his hands were able to. He threw his helmet with all his strength towards the opposite, cleaner side of the huge room and keeled over to vomit onto the ground. 

 

_Fuck me._

 

Wrex broke out in ear shattering, hysterical laughter and bent down to stop himself from falling to the floor. Garrus hurried over to check out the commotion.

 

“Wow”, Garrus marvelled. “Is this what passes for modern art nowadays? I can’t say I understand art, but this is a very pretty shade of crimson: really reaches out and grabs your attention…” Slade finally straightened back up and terrifyingly looked down and inspected his blue armour, which was now painted red and soaked in unidentifiable organic matter. He lifted his arm up and it dripped with fresh blood, then continued by lifting up his boot which was suctioned to the floor by more blood and guts. The absolute worst part was the smell, which Slade suppressed with all his might and fought a painful urge to rip his nose clean off his own face. 

 

_Oh, god…it smells like-_

 

Slade violently vomited again, causing Wrex’s booming laughter to continue on with twice the volume. Shepard walked over, carefully avoiding the larger piles of gore and approached Slade with his helmet tucked underneath her arm. She gently patted Slade’s back until he was able to stand upright again.

 

“There, there”, she soothed. “It’s alright. You’re okay.” She extended her arm and offered Slade his helmet, which he carefully grasped and began wiping off the exterior. When Slade was satisfied with it’s sanitary state, he lifted it up to his head, but Shepard put a hand on his arm and stopped him from replacing his helmet. 

 

“In hindsight”, Shepard began. “You really shouldn’t have taken the helmet off. Now the smell is going to be trapped inside your helmet and it’ll be even worse. Here, try this.” Shepard spread a small amount of omnigel on her finger and gently smeared it over Slade’s nostrils, causing his ears and cheeks to burn red. Slade was already quite on edge, and he mentally tensed up after Shepard’s touch on his bare skin. He began slightly trembling, but was slowly becoming acclimatized to the sensation of being touched by the Commander, and his mental breakdowns became less severe. The omnigel she spread on his nostrils began sending a cool, metallic scent up his nose: it smelled like damp, cool steel and although it was not exactly a pleasant odour, it was far more appealing than the rusty copper smell of blood in the air. Shepard then took his helmet out of his grasp and carefully placed it back on his head, fastening the vacuum seals and engaging the airlock. She gingerly wiped the remainder of the gore out of the visor as the stench of blood slowly dissipated, and Slade began feeling better inside the safety of his helmet. 

 

“There”, she finished. “Better?” Slade slowly nodded, then chuckled. 

 

“In hindsight, Commander”, he replied. “If I kept my helmet on and threw up, we’d be dealing with a completely different problem that would be arguably worse…” Shepard quickly laughed at the implication and patted his shoulder before turning around to Garrus and Wrex. 

 

“That’s the last fusion torch”, she announced. “Now we need-

 

Shepard saw the door behind them slide open and allow a squad of batarians to enter the room.

 

“COMPANY!” Shepard shouted. “Take cover!” Slade and the Commander ran behind a wall with Garrus while Wrex ducked behind an overturned cargo crate. Slade primed his Paladin, ignoring the slimy mess that refused to come off the handle. 

 

“Stop!” One of the batarians ordered. “This doesn’t need to end in bloodshed!” The batarian stepped forward with his rifle slung over his back and beckoned his entourage to hold their fire.

 

“Right”, Garrus scoffed. “As if that’s ever worked before.” Shepard however, decided to step out from behind the wall and approach the batarian with her rifle lowered, causing the rest of the team to hurriedly take aim and cover her. 

 

“Commander!” Slade called as he sighted down a batarian holding a shotgun. “What the hell are-

 

“Hold your fire!” She ordered without turning around. “I think we can talk this out.”

 

“The fuck we are!” Wrex grunted as he walked out towards the commander. “Batarians don’t talk.”

 

“Commander”, Slade continued as he cautiously left the cover of the wall. “I’m with Wrex on this one. Don’t trust them.”

 

_Did I really agree with Wrex? Maybe I puked out my brain too…_

 

“I said, hold your fire”, Shepard barked while she disengaged her rifle. “We ARE going to talk this out. Stay calm.” 

 

_Goddamn it, Commander, what are you doing?_

 

Wrex snarled while Shepard walked closer to the batarian and kept his shotgun aimed at the batarian leader. Slade joined him and kept his pistol aimed as well. Garrus was silently waiting with his sniper rifle for an order to open fire.

 

“Who are you?” Shepard inquired. “You’re the first one here to talk first, and shoot second.”

 

“Don’t come any closer”, the batarian warned. “My name is Charn. I’ve been sent to dispose of you, but I’m not an idiot. If I try to take you on, I’ll probably end up dead, just like everyone else. But I can’t just ignore you either, or Balak will skin me alive. I don’t suppose you’ll just consider leaving?” 

 

“I think you already know my answer”, Shepard protested. “And I’m assuming Balak is the one behind this whole incident?”

 

“Yes, he is”, Charn answered. “And if he asks me to do something, I do it. Fortunately, he never directly ordered me to kill you, he just told me to deal with you. I’m going to ask you to leave one more time, but if you refuse again, I’ll have no choice. I’d rather try my luck with you, than with Balak.” Wrex threateningly charged his shotgun’s thermal sink, causing every batarian to aim their weapons towards him. 

 

“Look”, Charn continued. “This wasn’t my idea, I signed on with Balak’s crew for a quick slave grab, but after we found this outpost and Balak found out about the fusion torches, shit hit the fan and he went full terrorist. I’m just following orders, and if they end up getting me killed, well then, at least you won’t give me a slow, painful death.” Wrex let out a slow, intimidating cackle.

 

“Well”, Wrex laughed. “You’ll find out you’re wrong about that in the most agonizing way possible.” Charn seemed to ignore the comment and continued to stare intently at the Commander. 

 

“Seriously?” Shepard taunted. “You’re going to kill millions of people - and possibly destroy a planet - just because someone told you to? Do you usually allow other people to make such huge decisions for you?” Charn ignored the taunt again and remained silent. Shepard also remained silent for a few moments, adding more tension to Slade’s trigger finger and he braced himself for another firefight; however, Shepard broke the silence and changed her tone completely. 

 

“Okay, listen”, she began in a genuine tone. “From everything you’ve told me, you obviously think Balak is a crazy extremist - and I agree - so I have a proposal for you. Instead of throwing your life away by attempting to kill us, why don’t you just leave with your squad? I’ll make sure Balak won’t be able to punish you, all you need to do is tell me where to find him. Does that sound fair to you? Like you said, only one of us is leaving this room alive, and we both know it won’t be you. Why throw your life away for Balak’s sake?” Charn seemed to be completely taken back and finally moved his gaze away from Shepard to look down at the floor. 

 

_Shepard, you can’t be serious. We CANNOT just let them go! That’s stupid!_

 

“That is a very interesting proposal…” Charn said without looking up. “It certainly would be better than dying, and Balak is not worth dying for.” He turned around and looked at his men, exchanging a few words in native batarian before turning back to Shepard. 

 

“And you promise to kill Balak?” Charn demanded.

 

“I promise to deal with Balak”, Shepard corrected with a small smirk. 

 

“I suppose that’s as much as I can ask.” Charn accepted and turned around to his men. “Let’s go! We’re getting the hell off this rock!” The other batarians holstered their weapons and began leaving the room while Charn slowly stepped closer to Shepard, causing Slade and Wrex to immediately aim their weapons at him. “Here, human. Take this.” He handed a small keypad to Shepard. “Balak is bunkered down at the primary control centre, you’ll need this keypad to get inside. Don’t underestimate him, he’s a mean bastard and HATES humans.” 

 

“Thanks”, Shepard replied. “I’ll take care of him, but if I ever see YOU again, I’ll take care of you too. Are we clear? Stay away from human territory.”

 

“Don’t worry”, Charn reassured. “If I didn’t have a chance against you now, I don’t think I’d get this lucky next time. You’ll never see me again.” Charn turned around and left with his entourage without looking back at Shepard, and the party disengaged their weapons and gathered around the Commander. 

 

_We should have killed them, before they-_

 

“That was a mistake, Shepard”, Wrex barked. “We should’ve cracked their heads and made sure they didn’t get another chance to pull shit like this again.” 

 

“Maybe it was a mistake”, Shepard sassed. “But it was MY mistake to make. I’m not going to mercilessly slaughter people because they happen to be standing in my way. I call the shots, Wrexy, remember that.” Wrex took two intimidating steps toward Shepard and glared into her helmet’s visor through his.

 

“Call me ‘Wrexy’ again, and you’ll be making another mistake”, Wrex snarled. “Probably your LAST mistake.” The Commander was unfazed by Wrex’s threat, and held her ground without breaking his gaze.

 

“Do you see anyone else complaining about my choice?” Shepard demanded as she looked over to Garrus and Slade. “Guys? Any objections? Or is it just Wrex?”

 

“None from me, Commander”, Garrus reported. “They didn’t fire at us, so we had no reason to fire at them. Whether you made the right choice or not, it isn’t for me to decide.” Shepard beamed underneath her helmet and looked directly at Slade, and he squirmed slightly. 

 

“Slade?” She continued. “Anything to add?” Slade just silently stared at the cool, metal floor for a few moments.

 

_Don’t say anything. Just keep your damn mouth shut._

 

“No, ma’am”, Slade finally answered. Wrex gave a deep, rumbling chuckle and all eyes were now back on him. 

 

“Looks like your little protege doesn’t agree with you, Shepard…” he taunted. “Maybe the runt does have a brain in that hollow skull of his.” Wrex inconsiderately began walking towards the entrance of the compound before Shepard had a chance to retort. Garrus shrugged and followed him out of the room.

 

“Well”, Garrus remarked. “Time’s wasting! We should get moving, we probably only have maybe an hour left, if we’re lucky.”

 

“That’s a load of shit!” Wrex called out without turning around. “They SAID we only have a few hours, but we all know that doesn’t mean shit! We could leave right now, get a bottle of ryncol from Tuchanka, fight a thresher maw while drunk, and still be able to make it back here with enough time left. Don’t listen to time constraints! They never mean anything!” Garrus laughed to himself as he ran up to join Wrex. Slade began to increase his pace to catch up, but the Commander caught his shoulder and held him in place. 

 

/

 

_He needs to learn something, and NOW._

 

Commander Zoey Shepard opened a private comm link to Slade so no one would be able to eavesdrop on them. He accepted the transfer and turned his attention to her.

 

“Slade”, she began. “Do you think we should have killed them?” 

 

“It doesn’t matter what I think”, Slade replied. “You’re the Commander, and I trust your decisions. Like Garrus said, it’s not our place to-

 

“It DOES matter, because I’m asking”, Shepard interrupted, far more rudely than she intended. “So…do you think I made a mistake letting them go like that? Speak freely, this is just between us.” Slade put his hands on his hips and paced back and forth for a few moments in silence, while Zoey patiently waited for him to think of an answer. 

 

“Commander”, he started. “They were batarian slavers. Slavers. And the mistake they claimed to make was accidentally add terrorism and mass destruction to their resumes. Sure, they didn’t want to go along with it, but they were still slavers. You let them go, ma’am, but do you think they’re going to become farmers or take up knitting now? No. You let them go so they could continue to be slavers. They’re going to kidnap people and make them slaves. I know they didn’t want to shoot us or become terrorists, but you allowed a bunch of slavers to go free…how was that the right decision?” 

 

_Well…shit, when you put it that way…no, no, no. Keep it together, Zoey. You made the right call, and you know it. Slade just needs to understand why._

 

“Slade”, she cautiously began. “I’m not a judge, jury and executioner. Yes, those batarians were criminals, but it’s not my call on how exactly they should be punished. If we had enough time, we would have arrested them and had them tried for terrorism, but we didn’t have time for that. I’d rather let them go and let someone else who has the authority to judge them take care of them, than gun them down just because they’re in my way. Just for the record, the only reason I even considered letting them go in the first place is because they didn’t automatically begin nailing us with bullets. Usually, they shoot first and ask questions later, but Charn was actually willing to talk first, which should get him at least some consideration. Is that a fair explanation for my decision? This is important, Slade, I need you to learn that we can’t just kill people for being in the way.” Slade silently paced for a few more moments before answering. 

 

“Commander”, he began again. “You DO have the authority to be judge, jury and executioner. That’s why you’re a spectre. The council gave you that authority because they trusted you would make the right decisions and not be impeded by laws and regulations; but, you literally just did that. You allowed laws and regulations to sway your judgement. Sure, maybe Charn isn’t a complete asshole, but you let him go just because you think he needed a fair trial, and he might end up hurting more people…” Slade paused for a few moments before continuing. “I’m just a little worried you’re so caught up with trying to keep absolutely everyone alive, that you’re not considering WHO you’re keeping alive. I get it, you want to save as many people as possible, but sometimes removing bad people from the galaxy is the best way to help people. Think about this: you kept Charn alive, but you may not have saved the people he might eventually hurt. If we had killed Charn, we would make sure nobody else would get hurt because of him. I’m really scared about what is going to happen when we find Balak…if he surrenders and you let him go…well…Commander, he’s trying to wipe out millions of people along with an entire planet. He WILL try this again if you let him go. The only way we’re going to help anyone is by killing Balak, and I don’t think there will be a way around that. Do you know what I mean? We can’t let Balak leave this asteroid alive.”

 

_Slade…_

 

It was Zoey’s turn to pace back and forth in silence before she could think of an appropriate answer. 

 

“Just because I have the authority to do as I please…” Zoey explained. “Doesn’t mean I can do whatever I want. I can’t just go around blasting everyone left and right and leaving a trail of corpses in my wake. I HATE killing people, and I HATE that it’s become a necessary evil I have to put up with on a daily basis. Slade, killing someone is a quick and easy solution to a long and complicated problem. You should only kill someone when it’s absolutely necessary and there is no other option. Killing Charn wasn’t necessary and there’s no guarantee he’s going to do terrible things right away, maybe he’ll turn over a new leaf and do something nice for a change. Even if he doesn’t, that DOES NOT matter; but what does matter, is that I gave him the CHANCE to change his ways. Do you understand me, Slade? I will not kill Balak if he surrenders without a fight. Killing him is a last resort, and regardless of his evil intentions, he still deserves a second chance. Am I clear, Specialist Jordan? Killing is never an option until there are no options left.” Slade stood silently and stared at the ground, then breathed a long, exaggerated sigh before turning to the exit.

 

“Yes, ma’am”, he said as he walked towards where Wrex and Garrus were waiting, without turning around to look at Zoey. 

 

 


	17. Act I : Chapter XV

Act I : XV

 

Asteroid X57

 

Slade Jordan was torn between keeping his Paladin sighted down on Balak, and fighting the urge to yell at the Commander. 

 

_Shepard, for fuck’s sake, you cannot be serious…_

 

Slade admitted that they were definitely not in a good position: they were surrounded by batarians and assault droids. Balak was standing at the top of a staircase, backed up by a few bodyguards and they all had the advantage of high ground. The assault droids whizzed through the air and constantly popped in and out of Slade’s peripheral vision. The other members of Balak’s crew were huddled together in groups all over the remainder of the complex, leaving no safe place to retreat if they decided to open fire. 

 

_I don’t care how bad this situation is, Balak CANNOT leave!_

 

“You can leave, Balak”, Shepard announced. “But I swear, I WILL find you and I WILL bring you to justice.”

 

“Maybe”, Balak mocked. “But not today, human. Those demolition charges are still on timers, so I’ll be escaping while you pitifully attempt to save your hostages. Goodbye, human filth.” Balak and his followers began slowly moving to the exit, without taking their eyes or guns off Shepard’s team. Shepard gave Slade a firm look and signalled to let them go without a fight. 

 

_No. This is wrong._

 

Slade desperately tried something he thought he would never be stupid enough to do: he opened a private comm link to Wrex, who answered almost immediately.

 

“Hey, runt”, Wrex grunted. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

“We can’t let that son of a bitch go”, Slade hissed. “Are you with me?”

 

“We’re gonna get in a lot of shit for this…” Wrex warned. “You sure you wanna do this? Shepard can’t do shit all to punish me, but she can definitely whip you a good fifty lashes.”

 

“I’m going to turn him into paste, just like that other batarian”, Slade growled. Wrex gently laughed before answering.

 

“I might just be starting to like you, runt”, Wrex chuckled. 

 

/

 

_Slade, PLEASE don’t do anything stupid…_

 

Commander Zoey Shepard knew Slade was not happy with her decision, and although she did not think he would try something, she braced herself to restrain him.

 

_He’s going to kill the hostages, Slade…PLEASE just let him go._

 

Balak and his crew were almost to the top level balcony, when Wrex and Slade suddenly sprinted off in opposite directions: Wrex stormed up the stairs, bellowing a terrifying battlecry while Slade vaulted over a glass railing and ran off towards the exit. 

 

“What the hell are you two doing?!” Garrus shouted as he readied his sniper rifle to cover Wrex’s advance.

 

“GARRUS!” Shepard screamed. “NO! HOLD YOUR FIRE!” Garrus nodded, but continued to line up his shot. Shepard had a split second to decide on her course of action: Wrex was obviously going to chase the batarians towards Slade, who was sprinting to the exit to cut them off, so her options were sprint up to Wrex and attempt to stop him from chasing Balak, or sprint after Slade and stop him from cutting them off. 

 

_Wrex can handle himself and has Garrus on overwatch. Slade is alone. No brainer._

 

Zoey began running after Slade, but an overwhelmingly loud explosion and teeth chattering tremor knocked her off balance, so she grabbed onto the glass railing for support.

 

_Oh, please no…_

 

Zoey painstakingly brought her gaze over to the area where the hostages were being kept, and dread began to build up inside her as she saw smoke and fire pouring out of the room: Balak had set off the explosives.

 

/

 

Slade Jordan stumbled mid-sprint because of the explosion, but forced himself back to full speed and continued heading towards the exit.

 

_They’re dead. I need to make sure it wasn’t in vain._

 

Slade rounded a corner and pressed himself against the wall for cover as he heard a stampede of batarians heading towards the corridor. He ignored all the sounds around him and focused all his attention to gathering his biotic potential. Slade continued to try as hard as he could, but did not feel the vibrant, pulsing sensation coursing through his body.

 

_Fuck! It’s not working._

 

Slade tried again, but was rewarded with nothing out of the ordinary. The thundering cluster of footsteps was a few feet away from the wall now, Slade was out of time. Sighing in fear and frustration, he readied his Paladin.

 

_I guess I’ll have to do this the hard way._

 

Slade pivoted out of the cover of the wall, extending his omniblade as he moved and thrust his arm into the neck of the first batarian to round the corner. He did little more than gurgle out his last words through a mouthful of blood. Slade then fired his pistol, blowing a hole through the chest of another bodyguard, who fell backwards into the opposite wall and slumped to the floor, dead. Only Balak and another bodyguard remained standing - Wrex must have been holding the rest of them off, or killed them - and Slade sighted down the extremist leader, ready to put a hole through one of his many eyes. Before he could pull the trigger, the last remaining bodyguard clothed himself in a blue aura and Slade felt a large, painful force hammer into his chest and violently hurl him backwards. 

 

_Damn it. He’s a biotic._

 

Slade landed on his back and the back of his head was ploughed onto the floor as the remainder of his momentum carried him further. His vision blurred and everything seemed to be brighter and more vivid, as if the room was drenched in a huge spotlight; in fact, the light fixtures on the ceiling seemed to burn Slade’s eyes if he looked anywhere near them. He clumsily forced himself to his feet and desperately attempted to regain his balance, but the bright lights disoriented him and made it almost impossible to see the two batarians marching towards him. Slade did not know where his pistol had gone, so he extended his omniblade again and tried harder to distinguish the shapes moving towards him. The figure closer to him was encased in red combat armour: Balak. Slade recklessly lunged forwards and attempted to drive his arm into Balak’s neck; however, he effortlessly slid out of the way and Slade’s arm continued forward without connecting with anything. 

 

_Shit._

 

Slade felt a sharp pain pierce his side - it was a freezing cold sensation and excruciatingly painful - and he yelped and bent forwards. Slade looked down the side of his chestplate to see a red gauntlet balled into a fist, clutching an evil looking barbed dagger which was buried in Slade’s body. Balak twisted his fist and drove the blade in further, causing Slade to scream in agony and collapse to his knees. Slade’s breath became quick and ragged, it was becoming difficult to breathe. Everytime he tried to inhale, a sharp pain would stop his chest from expanding and immediately cause him to exhale in agony. 

 

“You stupid, stupid human”, Balak taunted. “I was going to let you live and leave peacefully. Instead you chose to reject my mercy, and now your hostages are dead. No need to worry, you will be joining them soon.” Balak wrenched his dagger out of Slade - causing him to spasm and gasp in silent agony as it was too painful to scream - and kicked Slade’s freshly wounded side with a heavy boot. Slade crumpled to the ground and his body had stopped obeying him, all he could do was lie in his own blood, and try to remain conscious through unexplainable pain. Balak bent down and strangled Slade’s neck with his empty hand. 

 

“This is for the countless batarians who have died because of your pitiful race”, Balak snarled. “Feel their vengeance.” Slade’s vision was quickly fading and he could no longer breathe, but he managed to see Balak raise his dagger one more time for a final thrust.

 

_This is it. I’m sorry, Commander._

 

Slade felt another slam of agony on his chest as his vision finally faded to pitch black, and he could no longer feel anything.


	18. Act I : Chapter XVI

Act I : XVI

 

Eden Prime Colony

 

Slade Jordan was standing in the doorway to his childhood home, confused and disoriented while trying to understand where he was. He was not certain it was his home; after all, the housing in a colony was prefabricated and standardized, so all homes looked exactly alike, right down to the furniture and upholstery. The only distinguishing feature Slade was able to identify was a small portrait hanging above a wall lamp that contained a family portrait: Slade around the age of six, standing with his parents. There was now no doubt, this was indeed Slade’s childhood home, and he was on Eden Prime.

 

_How the fuck did I get here? And how is this place still intact…something isn’t right…_

 

Slade took a step inside and winced with pain as he looked down at his side, which was oozing with deep, red blood. He held his hands against his wound and pressed hard, attempting to stop the bleeding. Slade slowly began to recollect his fight with Balak, and pushed aside his feeling of shameful defeat to focus on fixing himself. 

 

_I need to stop the bleeding. Damn it, I wish I knew proper first aid. Definitely asking Doctor Chakwas about that. Ugh, where is she when you need her?_

 

Slade limped into the kitchen and threw open a drawer, which he remembered contained towels. He pulled a couple of them out and wrapped his bleeding wound, gritting his teeth in pain. Slade continued rummaging through the kitchen, searching for alcohol or something similar to clean his side, but was unsuccessful and decided water from the sink would suffice for now. 

 

“Slade! You’re home!” Slade jumped as he reached the sink and turned to look into the hallway, extending his omniblade. His mother was standing there, beaming at him while her beautiful, green eyes radiated with glee. 

 

_What. The. Fuck._

 

Slade did not lower his blade and kept his arm ready for anything. His mother was dead; therefore, the woman standing in front of him was either coincidentally identical to her in every way, or someone trying to catch him off guard. The woman stepped closer and now wore a very worried and frantic expression. 

 

“Slade!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, what happened?! You’re bleeding! Hurry we need-

 

She began to move towards him and Slade thrust his arm out as a warning, causing her to stop and recoil slightly. 

 

“Do not come any closer”, Slade threatened. “You’re not my mother. You can’t be. So who are you?” 

 

“Slade, sweetie, you’re going crazy”, she replied. “It must be the blood loss! Slade, quick, we need to get help!” She attempted to approach him again and Slade slammed his omniblade into the kitchen counter, sending sparks flying and causing the woman to take a few steps backwards. 

 

“I said”, Slade hissed. “Stay away from me. Who are you?!” She was frightened now and her eyes widened slightly more. 

 

“Slade, don’t you recognize me?” She whimpered. “I’m your mother!”

 

“My mother slit her own throat”, Slade snarled. “She bled to death in this kitchen, and I spent a few nights soaked in her blood, before I burned this house down until it was nothing but ash. She’s dead and gone; therefore, you can’t be my mother. So, who the hell are you?” Before the woman could answer, Slade heard a cupboard close behind him and he snapped his attention around to the source of the noise. His father was standing behind him, running the coffee machine and waiting for his mug to fill with the fresh brew. Slade instantly became enraged at the sight of him and curled his hands into fists. 

 

“She is your mother”, he stated. “You should know, she’s dead because of you.” He began buttering a slice of toasted bread without looking up at Slade. 

 

“NO”, Slade roared. “SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” 

 

“Only a child passes blame onto another”, he scolded. “Why try to blame me for your misfortune? You know it was your fault, so own up to it. There’s no sense-

 

“She died because you left”, Slade accused. “If you had stayed, she-

 

“And why did I leave, son?” He interrupted. Slade bit his tongue and suppressed his rage for a moment. Although he was furious and was on the verge of assaulting his father, he wanted to know the answer.

 

“I don’t know”, Slade growled. “Enlighten me.”

 

“You DO know”, he retorted. “You just do not wish to admit it, Slade. Again, you are acting like a child and would rather live in denial than accept the truth. You are an abomination, Slade. A result of random chance and bad luck. No child of mine should have been born a biotic. But you were, so I had no choice but to leave before you tarnished my reputation. Your mother chose to keep you and ultimately paid for that choice with her life. It WAS your fault, Slade. The sooner you admit that fact and accept it, the sooner you will stop behaving like a child.” Slade bellowed in fury and drove his omniblade into his father’s back with all his might. 

 

“I didn’t choose to be born like this”, Slade spat, as his father gasped for breath while he coughed out blood. “I didn’t choose to be an abomination. I never wanted this. This was the life I was given, not the life I would have chosen.” Slade pulled his blade out and stabbed it into his father again, causing his body to spasm in pain. “You chose to leave us. I didn’t choose to be a biotic.”

 

“True”, Slade’s father coughed through a bloody mouth. “You’ve made your first step, Slade. You’ve admitted you ARE an abomination. You may not have wanted to be a biotic, but you ARE. Your next step is-

 

Slade wrenched his blade out again, but aimed higher and impaled his father through his heart. He did not make a single sound, but his body spasmed in pain once more. 

 

“Shut up”, Slade commanded. “Shut up and die.”

 

“I can’t die, Slade”, he groaned. “Not until you enlighten yourself. You must admit your mother’s death was your fault. You’ve always played the part of a victim, Slade. Always. For your entire life, you’ve identified yourself as a victim. Ask yourself: why? Why have you always been a victim? It’s not difficult to guess. You cannot accept blame. You always pass the blame onto someone else, in this case you blame ME for your mother’s death. You blame the universe and random chance for your biotics. Is anything ever YOUR fault? No. Because you’re a victim and blame will never be placed on you. You WANT to be a victim. You ENJOY being a victim. It’s because you can justify shifting the blame onto someone else.” Slade hated himself for listening to his father, but he began to question whether the dying man was correct.

 

_Is he right? No…I AM a victim. The entire colony hated me. They HATED me. They abused me. They made me want to die. I wished they would just kill me. How could I NOT be a victim? Everyone in that fucking colony is the reason I’m depressed and broken. I AM A VICTIM! I have to be…There’s no way I WANT to be a victim…I just AM a victim._

 

Slade’s father began to laugh in a bloodcurdling, inhuman way.

 

“Ah”, he cackled. “See? You’re doing it again. You’re blaming the colony for your mental illness. It’s never your fault, is it? Slade, ask yourself another question. What did you do about your situation?” Slade bit his tongue and stopped himself from blurting out an impulsive answer. 

 

_How did he know what I was-_

 

He began laughing in his demonic, inhuman way once more.

 

“Nothing, Slade”, he hissed. “You did NOTHING. You never asked for help. You never tried to make things better for yourself. You never took it on yourself to improve your own situation. Hell, you never even fought back or defended yourself from the abuse, and we both know you could have easily scared everyone into submission with your biotics. You did NOTHING. You always expected something to happen for you. You expected the problem to fix itself. You just sat there, took the abuse willingly, and did NOTHING. Like I said, you always play the victim. It allows you to justify doing NOTHING. When are you going to take charge of yourself, Slade? When is something going to be YOUR fault? When are you going to stop being a victim?! WHEN WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF?!” Slade’s father wrenched Slade’s arm out of the way and kicked him in his wounded side, causing him to crumple to the ground in agony.

 

“WHAT NOW, SLADE?!” He roared. “WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE YOU?!” Slade looked over to his mother for help with tears clouding his vision, but instantly recoiled in shock when he saw her. She was lying on the floor next to him, her throat carved open and pouring thick, red blood onto the kitchen tiles. Her beautiful, elegant green eyes had become a dull jade colour, and her skin suffered from a bluish tinge. 

 

_No…no, no, no…_

 

Slade’s father laughed again in his deep, rumbling, demonic voice.

 

“NOBODY IS HERE TO HELP YOU, SLADE”, he bellowed. “ARE YOU STILL A VICTIM?! DO SOMETHING!”

 

Slade clutched his side in agony, curled into a ball, and began crying uncontrollably. Every breath he drew stabbed into his chest with pain and caused him to feel even more hopeless. His throat had gone dry and it became harder and harder to breathe, his lungs spent more time exhaling in agonizing sobs than inhaling. His father’s demonic laughter became louder and louder, while Slade began bawling louder and louder in an attempt to drown the laughter out.

 

“This is why I left, Slade.” His father growled. “You were never good enough to make me want to stay. Continue to play the victim, son. Soon enough, you will learn that doing nothing will just cause you to gradually become worse. Only when you stop being a victim, will you finally improve. DO SOMETHING, Slade. Problems will not solve themselves.” Slade’s father pulled out a pistol and primed it, charging the thermal sink on the M-77 Paladin he was holding. Slade longingly took one final look at his mother’s corpse, trying to see her face through his tears. 

 

_I’m sorry, mom._

 

Slade heard a gunshot, and his vision faded into black.

 

 


	19. Act I : Chapter XVII

_A brief note to my irreplaceable reader,_

 

_First off, I would like to sincerely apologize for taking such a long, unplanned break from updating this work. Hopefully, you did not really care to begin with, but if that is not the case, my wish is that I will be able to earn your forgiveness through writing more content for you. I have no excuse to offer, other than my workplace and career has been too demanding over the last two months, and I was unable to write as much as I would have liked to; however, I am seeking to jump back onto the metaphorical mechanical bull. With the start of December, I now have more free time to devote back to you, and I hope to keep it that way permanently. Please stay tuned for more updates and content!_

 

_I would also like to make a brief announcement concerning social media. If you happen to follow my Facebook, Reddit and/or Tumblr pages, it is quite obvious the message above was copied and pasted (sorry…it was for efficiency and consistency, I promise!) Furthermore, I plan to continue updating those pages, with the exception of Tumblr. As you may already know, Tumblr is planning to begin censoring all content flagged as “adult”, or “NSFW”. I do not approve of this; therefore, I will be retiring my Tumblr page effective immediately after this chapter is uploaded. It will remain active, but I will stop updating the page. If you have any suggestions for similar websites for alternatives to Tumblr, please feel free to let me know using any of my contact information available (Facebook, Reddit, Private Messages, ETC) and as always: any feedback, concerns, criticisms or conversation is welcome at any time! Please do not hesitate to contact me, even if you would just like to say hi, or let me know what a huge disappointment I am!_

 

_This work, and all my work, is always dedicated to you. Thanks for putting up with me!_

 

_~AltF5_

 

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Act I : XVII

 

SSV Normandy 

 

Commander Zoey Shepard anxiously worked on writing her mission report, documenting the events that had transpired on the asteroid. She occasionally looked up from her omnitool to catch a quick glimpse of Slade’s unconscious body in the medical cot beside her, alert for any signs of movement. Doctor Chakwas had assured her that Slade would make a full, steady recovery; however, he had lost a considerable amount of blood and the wound he sustained would need time to heal. Zoey could not help but scan her eyes over Slade’s half naked body, marvelling at how much he had changed in the weeks he had been aboard the Normandy. On Eden Prime, he had been thin - not malnourished, but definitely in need of a few solid meals -and very humble in appearance. Now, with the constant supply of proper nutrition and exercise, Slade had grown into a proper marine physique. He was still noticeably more lean and less bulky than an average Alliance soldier, but it was very clear he was in great physical condition; in fact, Zoey could barely remember what he looked like before. Slade’s arms and legs no longer resembled rubber noodles, and his torso and abdomen had also increased in both weight and muscle mass. It would only be a matter of time before he rivalled Kaidan’s physique. Zoey blushed and forced her gaze back down to her omnitool.

 

_I shouldn’t compare him to Kaidan, that just wouldn’t be fair. Kaidan hasn’t lived a perfect life, but he is definitely in better condition than Slade. Although…I definitely wouldn’t complain if they decided to fight each other while naked…_

 

Slade began to stir and Zoey snapped out of her daydream and looked over to him. His eyes lazily opened and he groaned while trying to sit upright, Zoey reached out with her hand to stop him from moving too much. 

 

“Slade, try not to move”, she ordered. “You’re okay. We’re back on the Normandy.” Slade did not answer right away; moreover, he looked immensely troubled and his eyes darted frantically around the room, almost as if he was desperately trying to find a place to hide. 

 

“Slade?” Zoey repeated. “Are you okay? You don’t look too good…” Again, Slade did not answer, which caused Zoey to become instantly worried. 

 

“Doctor Chakwas!” Zoey shouted. Karin ran out of her office and rushed to Slade’s side.

 

“Slade?!” Karin implored. “Slade, are you alright?” Slade looked up to meet Karin’s eyes, but registered no response and blankly stared at her. Karin placed her hands on his cheeks and began inspecting his eyes closely, then opened her omnitool in order to take a few scans, while Zoey anxiously waited for a report. 

 

“His brain activity is quite erratic”, Karin reported. “I do not see any permanent or serious problems, but he is registering abnormal brain waves. It is almost as if…” Karin turned her gaze to Zoey before continuing. “You had similar brain activity after your exposure to the prothean beacon, Commander. What exactly-

 

Karin was interrupted by Slade as he tore her hands off his face and threw himself off the medical cot, stumbling to his feet and activating his omniblade. Karin retreated a few steps away from him and Zoey rushed forward to throw herself between the Doctor and Slade.

 

“Slade!” Karin shouted. 

 

“Where am I?” Slade demanded, causing Zoey and Karin to frown in confusion.

 

“Slade”, Karin said gently. “You are back on the Normandy. You are safe. Everything is okay.” Slade’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but he kept his omniblade raised and darted his eyes around the room. He took a few quick breaths, then deactivated his blade and fell to his knees, clutching his wounded side in pain. Zoey and Karin swiftly knelt down beside him and began guiding him back to his cot. 

 

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?” Zoey asked.

 

“Bad dream”, Slade replied. “REALLY bad dream.” Zoey helped lift him onto the cot while Karin took a few more medical scans before she relaxed. Slade looked very shaken, but noticeably better than when he first regained consciousness. “What happened with Balak?”

 

“You’re lucky I caught up to you”, Zoey said abrasively. “I got to you just in time to stop Balak from gutting you. I threw him off you and we arrested him along with anyone else who was willing to surrender. They’re all locked up in an Alliance brig somewhere.”

 

“You mean”, Slade spat. “You didn’t kill him?!”

 

_Oh, you asked for it now!_

 

“Karin”, Zoey ordered. “Please give Slade and his Commander a few moments alone.” Karin opened her mouth to object, but immediately understood that Zoey was very upset and obediently walked out of the medbay without looking back. As soon as Zoey heard the door close and the magnetic lock seal, she lashed out with her arm and slapped Slade across the face, perhaps a little harder than she planned to. Slade’s head snapped backwards, and he turned forwards to face Zoey again with blood trickling down his bottom lip. 

 

_I didn’t mean to do that, but you deserve worse right now._

 

“No”, Zoey barked. “Balak is not dead. I didn’t kill him, but you managed to cause the death of three innocent people! Why didn’t you just listen to me?!” Slade rubbed the blood off his lips with his arm without answering, he simply just stared down at his forearm. Zoey began to regret slapping him, but also wanted to drive her point home. 

 

“It doesn’t matter whether you think I’m right, or wrong!” Zoey shouted. “What matters is: I’m your commander, and I gave you an order, which you deliberately disobeyed! This isn’t a minor disagreement, Slade! People - innocent civilians - died because you chose not to follow orders! Are you proud of that?!” Again, Slade said nothing and kept his gaze downwards; in fact, he wore a completely blank expression as if he was not listening to Zoey whatsoever. 

 

“Well?!” Zoey demanded. “Are you going to say something? This problem isn’t going away anytime soon, Slade. People died. Ignoring me isn’t helping anyone. You need to understand why you made a terrible mistake, or it’ll happen again! Do you understand?!” Silence. Slade did not even blink. 

 

_God, I might as well find a wall to talk to! I’d probably get more of a response!_

 

“Fine”, Zoey conceded. “Just sit there and ignore me, Slade. Until you decide to have a conversation with me, I’m not taking you on missions with me, and you’re confined to this medbay until Karin says otherwise. Have fun.” Once again, Slade remained as still as a statue, causing Zoey to groan in frustration and storm out of the medbay without turning back. She found Karin patiently standing near the door and met her eyes. 

 

“Slade is confined to the medbay until you say otherwise”, Zoey proclaimed. Karin gave her a silent stare of apprehension, but chose to say nothing and simply nodded. She then turned around and walked to the crew quarters, causing Zoey to jump in confusion and follow her. 

 

“Doctor?” Zoey called out, while catching up to her. Karin led the way into the bunk area and stopped in front of Slade’s bunk, before kneeling down and opening his footlocker. She pulled out his backpack and turned around to leave without even looking at Zoey. 

 

_Did everyone have a meeting without me and decide to ignore me together?! Why is everyone ignoring me?!_

 

Zoey followed Karin to the medbay door, but stopped and watched her approach Slade’s cot from the hallway. 

 

“Here”, Karin said very softly. “I thought you might want this, at least for the duration you will be here.” Slade gratefully grasped his backpack and looked up to meet Karin’s eyes. 

 

“Thank you”, he whispered. 

 

“Your lip was not bleeding when I left”, Karin observed. “Why is your lip bleeding? Are you alright?” Slade made a quick glance over to Zoey in the hallway, and she immediately looked down to the floor in embarrassment. 

 

_Okay, yeah I regret that. Sorry, Slade._

 

“I bit my lip”, Slade lied. “I’m okay, but it does hurt a little bit.” 

 

“Is that so?” Karin questioned. She cast a furious look at Zoey before she opened her omnitool and sealed the medbay doors remotely, catching Zoey off guard. 

 

_She is DEFINITELY going to yell at me later…_

 

/

 

“Slade”, Karin began. “Please tell me how you managed to hurt your lip.” 

 

Slade Jordan was lying down on his back and trying to relax in his cot while Doctor Chakwas inspected his physical condition, diverting most of her attention to his new injury. He did not savour lying to Karin, but he could not bring himself to admit the Commander had struck him. It was almost his way of denying it happened at all, Slade did not want to believe Shepard had actually hit him, it was far too painful to fathom: in more ways than one. 

 

“I bit my lip, like I said before”, Slade said, trying his best to sound convincing; alas, Karin was far too perceptive to be easily deceived by an obvious lie. 

 

“My apologies, Slade.” Karin sighed. “Please tell me how the Commander hurt your lip.” Slade felt his ears turn red and he struggled to force his cheeks not to do the same. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re-

 

“Slade”, Karin interrupted. “Please do not insult my intelligence. There is obvious swelling, both on your lip and the area around your cheek. So, unless you are confident that you managed to hurt your entire face by ‘biting your lip’, please tell me what the Commander did.” 

 

_Yeah, I guess there’s no way I could convince an experienced doctor I bit my lip…_

 

Slade was silent for a few moments before he attempted to answer, but Karin began speaking again first. 

 

“Did the colonists on Eden Prime ever hit you, or physically assault you?” Karin inquired.

 

“Sometimes”, Slade admitted. “But only the dock workers, or people I had to work around. Anyone else was happy with simply avoiding me.” 

 

“Did your parents hit you, or abuse you in any way?” Karin pressed on. 

 

“No”, Slade said truthfully. “Like I’ve said before, my mother was a saint, and my father didn’t stay around long enough.” Karin silently thought to herself for a while before she continued speaking. 

 

“Why is it that you can willingly answer to those questions”, Karin started. “But when I ask if the Commander has assaulted you, somehow you feel it is necessary to lie? Why is that? Are you defending her? Or is this something else?” Slade immediately brought himself into an upright position, then turned his gaze to the private office door and silently stared into the darkened room. 

 

“I never trusted anyone on Eden Prime”, Slade commented. “I expected them to hit me, or hurt me in some way. But the Commander…I dunno…I guess I never expected her to hurt me like that. It’s…different.”

 

“Do you trust the Commander?” Karin continued. Slade had to think about his answer before responding.

 

“Yes”, Slade concluded. He looked back at Karin as she gave him a small smile.

 

“Well”, Karin sighed. “I have known the Commander long enough to know that the next time she sees you, she will pull you into an unwanted, embarrassingly long hug and apologize profusely. I can assure you she already regrets her decision.” Slade turned his eyes back to the darkened office. 

 

“I don’t need an apology from her”, Slade announced. “It was my fault. I made her WANT to hit me. I think I owe her an apology.” Karin immediately ended her nurturing, motherly aura and became instantly stern.

 

“Slade Jordan”, she scowled. “It is NEVER your fault if someone hits you. NEVER. Are we clear? The Commander does owe you an apology, and she WILL give you one, or she will have me to answer to…” Karin began inspecting Slade’s side and took a few scans. “How does it feel?”

 

“Am I on painkillers?” Slade inquired. “I can’t feel that part of my body at all.”

“Yes”, Karin answered. “You are on painkillers. I just wanted to ensure they were working. Not to worry Slade, I was able to minimize the scarring and you should be back to normal in no time at all; however, you will need to remain here until you are well enough to walk without medication.” Slade nodded in silence and continued to keep his gaze unfocused. “Slade? Is something else bothering you?” Slade continued to sit in silence and Karin decided to sit down next to his cot and wait patiently for an answer. 

 

“Do you think I’m a victim?” Slade asked very softly. Karin raised her eyebrows and silently thought about her answer before she replied.

 

“Would you be able to give me more context, Slade?” Karin pressed. “It is quite a vague question.” Slade thought to himself in silence for a few moments before continuing.

 

“Back on Eden Prime”, Slade started. “All those years I was mistreated by everyone, but I never did anything about it. I could have done something - maybe fought back, or at the very least attempt to stand up for myself - but I just let everyone bully me. I never tried to stop them. Do you think it was because I allowed myself to become a victim? Do you think I enjoyed being a victim? I dunno…Did I use it as an excuse to just let everyone abuse me and do nothing? Do you think I am a victim?” Karin stared intently into Slade’s eyes in silence without blinking for what felt like hours before she finally opened her mouth. 

 

“No, Slade”, she whispered. “I believe you were VICTIMIZED by your entire colony - by no fault of your own I might add - but you did not allow yourself to become a victim. It might be easy to stand up for yourself when your opposition is a few people who dislike you, but an entire colony mistreating you is not a typical scenario.” Karin put a gentle hand on Slade’s shoulder and flashed a warm, reassuring smile. “Slade, you are one of the bravest young men I have ever had the pleasure to know. Regardless of how difficult things became - your father leaving, your mother passing away, or your acute depression - you never gave up. Quite frankly, it would have been very easy for you to take your own life, especially after witnessing your own mother do so at such a young age: but you did not. You persevered, and although you suffered years of torment, here you are now: right where you need to be. You are stronger and far braver than you give yourself credit for, Slade Jordan. Sure, you could have always done more to improve your situation; however, is that not true for any situation? Regardless of how little or how much is done, more can always be achieved. In your case, you should be very proud you made it this far, Slade. I know I am proud of you, and your mother would be too. Right now, I just want you to continue improving, so if you want to push yourself to do something, start with that. Is that fair to ask of you?” 

 

_I had no idea how much I needed to hear that. I don’t deserve her._

 

Slade could not help but bring forward a smile. 

 

“Alright”, Slade beamed. “I can do that. I think I really do need to start doing more, but I’ll start here before I get ahead of myself.” Karin beamed back at him.

 

“Oh?” Karin chuckled. “Already have a plan do we?”

 

“Yes”, Slade proclaimed. “Hey, thank you, Karin. I really-

 

“No!” Karin interjected. “No appreciation necessary. Deep down, you know very well that I did not tell you anything you did not already know. Simply, I did nothing other than point you in the right direction. The rest is up to you, Slade, but I will always be here to help you, along with everyone else aboard this ship.” Slade suddenly remembered his disagreement with the Commander and became anxiously uneasy.

 

“May I ask for another small favour?” Slade inquired, to which Karin nodded encouragingly. “Would I be able to leave the medbay just this once to talk to the Commander? I promise we won’t get into trouble.” Karin’s smile immediately became a frown of disapproval, before she sighed and shrugged. 

 

“I certainly doubt that, but I will allow it just this once.” Karin sighed. 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Act I : Chapter XVIII

Act I : XVIII

 

SSV Normandy

 

Slade Jordan tried his best to ignore the pain emanating from his stab wound, realizing Doctor Chakwas would order him back to the medbay if she saw him in discomfort. It mostly hurt only when he took a step, so he tried his best to walk very cautiously and control his breathing. Chakwas followed Slade to the captain’s quarters, then shook her head condescendingly.

 

“Well”, she sighed. “I hope you accomplish whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Please come back to the medbay when you two are finished. If you have not returned in half an hour, I WILL come looking for you.” 

 

“Thanks for the warning”, Slade gulped before knocking gently on the door. Karin turned around and walked back to the medbay as the door hissed open. Zoey walked out of the doorframe, wearing her favourite N7 sweater over her blue fatigues. Her vibrant, green eyes were always the first thing that grabbed Slade’s attention, and he always felt the need to look away in order to avoid blushing.

 

“Hey”, Zoey said softly, only a few decibels above a whisper. 

 

“Hey”, Slade returned. “Do you have a minute?”

 

“Even better”, Zoey declared. “I have several minutes. Come on in.” Slade slowly followed Zoey into her quarters. He was surprisingly underwhelmed - he expected a luxurious suite, completed with a four-poster bed and an over-the-top vanity - but was instead greeted with a very simple room; in fact, the only pieces of furniture were a desk, a small table with two chairs, and a twin bed, which was noticeably unmade. “Excuse the mess”, Zoey apologized. “I wasn’t expecting to entertain guests.” Slade’s expression of disgruntlement must have shown on his face.

 

“No, no, no”, Slade said quickly. “No need to apologize. It’s not the mess that’s bothering me. Honestly, I was expecting the Normandy’s CO to have more…ummm…furniture…” 

 

“Is that so?” Zoey laughed as she took a quick glance around her quarters. “Remind me to bring that up with Admiral Hackett when they pass the next budget proposal. I definitely wouldn’t mind a hot tub in here.” She paused to give Slade a small smile, which he quickly returned. “Oh, well”, Zoey continued. “It might not be fit for a politician, but it’s home. Anyway, what’s up? I’m sure you didn’t come by just to inspect my standard of living…unless…well, did you come here to inspect my quarters?” 

 

“Nope”, Slade chuckled awkwardly. “Just came by to…ummm…well…apologize, I guess.” Zoey raised her eyebrows, but did not say anything, which Slade interpreted as a signal to continue speaking. “About what happened with Balak…I’m sorry I disobeyed your orders. Maybe if I listened to you, those engineers might still be alive. You’re the commander here, and I definitely owe you more than just my obedience. You saved me from Eden Prime and gave me a home, the least I could do is be a good crew member. So, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Slade took a few breaths, mustered his courage and continued speaking. “With all that being said, I have to say I still don’t agree with what happened down on the asteroid. Balak should be dead, not left in a prison cell somewhere. People like him don’t just drop everything and start playing nice. I’m not saying you made the wrong decision, I’m just saying I don’t agree with the choice you made. Even so, I still should have followed your orders, regardless of my own opinions. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re the commander, and I trust you, so from here on out, I’ll follow your orders without question, even if I don’t necessarily agree with you. If you ask for my opinion, I’ll give it to you, but it won’t affect my ability to follow directions.” The room was silent for a few moments before Zoey said something. 

 

“That’s…ummm…surprising”, Zoey remarked. “I definitely didn’t expect you to apologize for that…Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you did! I’m just…surprised. I also didn’t expect you to stand up for yourself like that…I’m impressed, Slade! Actually, I’m very impressed. Where did all that inspiration come from?” Slade’s nightmare began replaying itself in his head, and he quickly shook it off. 

 

“I decided I need to start doing things for myself”, Slade reported. “Which includes standing up for myself, and taking responsibility for myself. So, here I am. I’m glad you’re impressed. I guess that means I accomplished something, at least.” 

 

“Well, I’m proud of you, Slade”, Zoey beamed. “I accept your apology, and I’m glad we’ve reached an understanding. Also, from this point on, if you ever disagree with me about anything - ANYTHING at all - I’d like to know about it. I want you to follow my orders, but I also want you to think for yourself. So please, if you do end up disagreeing again, let me know ASAP. Deal?” 

 

“Deal”, Slade smiled. 

 

“Well”, Zoey chirped. “I guess it’s my turn to apologize now. I’m really, REALLY sorry I slapped you. I didn’t mean it, it just…happened. I regretted it the moment after it happened. Please forgive me? Pretty please?”

 

“I guess I deserved it”, Slade commented. “I forgive you, Commander.” Zoey gave Slade a wide smile before stepping forward and pulling him into a hug. Slade felt his face and ears instantly heat up, but he was surprisingly content with the physical contact. He carefully returned the hug before Zoey released him. 

 

“You need to work on your hugs”, Zoey teased. 

 

“Is that an order?” Slade shot back.

 

“Do I need to MAKE it an order?” Zoey rebounded.

 

“Go ahead”, Slade smirked. “It’s not like I’ll listen.” 

 

 


	21. Act I : Chapter XIX

Act I : XIX

 

SSV Normandy 

 

Commander Zoey Shepard walked towards the elevator, attempting to hide her wide grin from the sight of any crew members as she walked by. As she stepped into the elevator, she was joined by Slade, who activated the control panel and began the descent.

 

“Ready for the galaxy’s slowest elevator ride once again?” Zoey giggled. Slade turned his head to look at her with a mischievous smirk.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood”, he commented. “Judging by the goofy smile on your face, I’d bet you were just talking to Kaidan. Am I right, or am I right?” Zoey blushed and immediately looked away into a wall, before giggling again.

 

“What I do in my free time is my own business!” Zoey grinned. 

 

“No need to be defensive, Commander”, Slade teased. “Everyone knows about you two, it’s not a secret.” 

 

_Wait…what?!_

 

“Excuse me?” Zoey demanded, now directing her gaze towards Slade. “What do you mean everybody knows?!” Slade quietly chuckled before turning to face her.

 

“I mean”, Slade mocked. “The ENTIRE crew has noticed your back and forth flirting with Lieutenant Alenko, ma’am. Neither of you are exactly ‘subtle’, and you both walk away from each other with stupid smiles on your faces. Honestly, if you still think your shenanigans have gone unnoticed, I’m worried. We all know about you and Kaidan. Actually, we all also kinda gossip about the two of you…although…you didn’t hear this from me, okay? I don’t know if I was suppose to tell you any of that.” Zoey’s ears and cheeks felt like they were on fire, and she suddenly found the floor of the elevator very interesting to look at. 

 

“How long has everyone known about me and Kaidan”? Zoey asked without looking up. 

 

“I wouldn’t know about that”, Slade laughed. “You’d have to ask someone else. But I’ve known about you two for…maybe a month now? Yeah that sounds right. Probably a month. Liara told me while I was recovering from my knife wound in the medbay.”

 

“A WHOLE MONTH?!” Zoey exclaimed as she looked back up from the floor. “And how did Liara know?!” 

 

“Ashley told her”, Slade said with a wavering voice, as he was trying not to break out in laughter. 

 

“How did Ashley know?!” Zoey huffed, now feeling more irritated than embarrassed. 

 

“Oh, wow, look at the time”, Slade scoffed while pretending to look at an imaginary watch on his wrist. “This elevator sure is slow, I think it’s even slower than usual today…” Zoey rolled her eyes as Slade hunched over and laughed until his eyes watered. 

 

“Why are you even here?”, Zoey spat, eager to change the subject. “Shooting range, again?”

 

“Yeah”, Slade answered while rubbing tears away from his eyes and straightening his posture. “Garrus said I’ve finally impressed him enough to begin training with sniper rifles. He got me started on a M-97 Viper yesterday, but honestly, I’m hoping he’ll give me something with a little more punch. The Viper feels like it shoots peas, I don’t really like it.”

 

“Wow!” Zoey cheered. “Garrus said you’re good enough to train with HIM? That’s high praise indeed. We’ll see if you can keep up, Specialist. I have yet to see Garrus miss a shot. What else have you been up to behind my back?”

 

“Well”, Slade retorted. “Since you haven’t been taking me out with you on missions, I’ve been getting-

 

“Hey!” Zoey cut in. “That’s not my fault! Karin specifically said you need six weeks to yourself before I’m allowed to take you with me! I would take you if I could!”

 

“Since when do you listen to Karin?” Slade shot back.

 

“Since she yelled at me for slapping you!” Zoey rebounded. “And I don’t like it when she yells, so I’m gonna be a good girl and listen!”

 

“Alright, alright”, Slade snickered. “Anyway, I’ve just been catching up on my training. Ashley says my hand-to-hand could use a lot of work, but I know enough to survive a fight against a pirate or someone with minimal training. I’m getting a lot better, but she did say I shouldn’t try to fight another marine. Not that I’d want to…and Liara says I’ve made amazing progress with my biotics. There isn’t a lot of things she can teach me anymore, and my potential is astounding, for a human. I might have to start asking someone else for more combat oriented biotic training. Are you interested in teaching me, Commander?”

 

“Why don’t you ask Wrex?” Zoey teased. 

 

“Because he’d probably just laugh at me and tell me to fuck off”, Slade grumbled. “Or maybe I could ask your boyfriend? Kaidan probably has a few things he could teach me…” 

 

“Not funny”, Zoey spat. “He’s not my boyfriend, please don’t say that.” Slade raised an eyebrow, then looked away from her. 

 

“Sorry”, Slade mumbled. “Didn’t mean to touch that nerve…” Zoey crossed her arms and leaned against the railing. 

 

“There are regs”, Zoey muttered. “Rules against fraternization, and things like that. We may flirt with each other, but it’ll never be anything more than that. The word ‘boyfriend’ is kinda inappropriate. He’s not my boyfriend, and he probably never will be.” Slade shifted slightly, as if he was uncomfortable. 

 

“Aren’t you a spectre?” Slade questioned. “Do the rules even apply to you?”

 

“Maybe not in the same way”, Zoey answered. “But they DO apply to Kaidan, and I was a marine long before I was a spectre, so the rules also apply to me, even if it’s just on principle.” Slade nodded his head, but chose to remain silent for a few moments before answering. 

 

“I’m glad I’m not technically part of the Alliance”, Slade commented. “Too many rules.”

 

“True”, Zoey stated. “But you’re expected to follow those rules while you’re aboard this ship, Specialist.” 

 

 

“Don’t worry, Commander”, Slade reassured. “I’ll behave. So…why are you heading down? Do you just enjoy the excruciatingly long elevator rides?”

 

“We had another encounter with this Cerberus group again”, Zoey reported. “I need to take a look at some data the Mako recorded while we were planetside.” 

 

“What kinda crimes against humanity did they commit this time?” Slade asked. Zoey and Slade looked to the elevator control panel as it beeped, finally announcing their arrival. 

 

“Well, would you look at that!” Zoey snickered as they stepped out of the elevator. “Is it still Thursday? How long were we in there?” 

 

“Are you just not going to answer my question?” Slade demanded. 

 

“Sorry, Slade”, Zoey laughed. “It’s classified!”

 

“Wow”, Slade fumed. “That’s a pretty polite way to tell me to fuck off.” Zoey chuckled softly to herself as Slade headed off in the opposite direction towards the armoury, while she headed to the Mako.

 

_Does Kaidan know that everyone else knows about us? I’ll ask him later…_

 

 


	22. Act I : Chapter XX

Act I : XX

 

Noveria, Port Hanshan 

 

_Well, this is off to a fantastic start…_

 

Slade Jordan had now been on Noveria for half an hour at the most, and he — along with the rest of Shepard’s squad — had already managed to find himself in the sights of no less than five armed guards. His new M-7 Lancer was charged and aimed at the guard closest to him, with his finger readily gripping the trigger. Garrus had angrily protested against Slade bringing such an outdated assault rifle with him, but Slade would hear none of it and brought it anyway. If the standard issue weapon was good enough for Shepard, it was good enough for him. It comfortably sat in his arms, and although it lacked the punch his Paladin or Viper possessed, it was an automatic assault rifle which would prove itself reliable when he needed it during a pinch; furthermore, he was quite confident his newly honed biotics could handle whatever his weapons could not. The guards in Port Hanshan may have been more of a private security force than actual law enforcement, but they were definitely trained well and not to be underestimated. In the event of the situation escalating further, Slade braced his barriers and awaited Shepard’s orders. A human female in her thirties with black hair seemed to be the officer in charge; or at the very least, the other guards seemed to follow her lead.

 

“I must insist that you surrender your weapons”, she ordered. “We are authorized to use lethal force if necessary; moreover, the facility can be put into lockdown on a moment’s notice. Even if you manage to eliminate us, you will be unable to enter the port. I strongly suggest you reconsider.”Shepard kept her Lancer trained on the guard and kept silent for a few moments, then slowly and deliberately lowered her rifle.

 

“We’re not here to cause trouble”, Shepard said as she disengaged her rifle and tucked it under her arm, then glanced over to Slade and the others. “Stand down. Their house, their rules. We’ll comply with the no weapon policy.” 

 

“Alright, Commander”, Liara conceded, disengaging her M-3 Predator along with her. “If you think this is best, then we will surrender.” Kaidan also disengaged his Lancer and shrugged his shoulders at Slade. Shepard focused her attention onto Slade as well, and although she had her helmet on, Slade could tell what her expression looked like underneath. 

 

_Fine._

 

Just as Slade was about to disengage his rifle, a loud voice boomed over the intercom speakers, which caused everyone to flinch and Slade could have sworn the blonde guard in front of him almost fired her shotgun. 

 

“Captain Matsuo! Stand down!” 

 

Everyone lowered their weapons and anxiously hung onto every word projected through the intercom. 

 

“We have confirmed their identity with the Citadel! Spectres are authorized to enter the port with armaments. Stand down immediately, and allow them to enter the visitor’s centre.”

 

“You may proceed, Spectre”, Captain Matsuo announced. “I sincerely hope the remainder of your time in Port Hanshan is far less confrontational.”

  

“What she means is: make sure you behave yourselves”, growled the blonde human, who was now shooting a violent glare over at Shepard. 

 

“That’s enough, Sergeant Stirling”, ordered Matsuo. “I’m sure our guests are not here to cause trouble.” Matsuo then eyed Shepard with a professional, expressionless face. “However, we WILL be sure to keep a very close eye on your squad. Please do not take advantage of our hospitality. Now, continue inside, and enjoy your visit.” The rest of the guards disengaged their weapons and returned to their usual stations, with the exception of Sergeant Stirling who retreated to the main entrance, but kept her shotgun charged. 

 

“Well!” Shepard said happily, attempting to break the mood of caution and agitation. “That could have been worse! Come on, let’s go inside.” The air around the Commander flickered and Kaidan’s biotic barrier also flickered simultaneously as he joined her side. No one else seemed to notice the phenomena except Slade, but he suspected Kaidan was the cause.

 

_Ah. Kaidan must have diverted energy from his barrier and formed a secondary barrier around Shepard to bolster her own barrier. Smart, but it would have left him more vulnerable, especially if that turned into a firefight. But he didn’t enhance my barrier, or Liara’s. I guess the Commander qualifies for ‘special’ treatment. Figures._

 

Slade’s thoughts were interrupted as a blaring alarm sounded off, and he immediately surveyed the area to find the cause. The squad was standing in the hallway a few steps away from the main elevator, and two cameras anchored to the walls seemed to be setting off the alarm. 

 

“Please excuse the alarm! The cameras are designed to detect weapons and under normal circumstances, they would not usually trigger the alarms!” A human female in an elegant magenta dress beckoned them over to the counter, and Slade followed Shepard’s lead. 

 

“I am Gianna Parasini, the assistant to the Administrator”, she announced. “I apologize for the small ruckus outside, but our security forces only reacted the way they were trained. Please forgive any misinterpreted hostility. In any case, how may I help you, Commander Shepard?” 

 

“Thank you for settling that small disagreement out there, Miss Parasini”, Shepard said gratefully, as she removed her helmet and beamed politely. “I’d like a bit of information, if you don’t mind.” Liara and Kaidan also removed their helmets, but Slade chose to keep his on. He spent his entire life on Eden Prime — a place where it never snowed or dropped below freezing temperatures — and based on Garrus’ impression of Noveria, Slade was sure he would not enjoy the cold, even if he was inside a climate controlled area. Slade was perfectly content inside his environmentally controlled helmet and hardsuit. 

 

“I’m tracking down a fugitive from Citadel space, they’re guilty of treason”, Shepard began. “Has anyone…unusual…passed through the port recently?”

 

“Unusual?” Gianna repeated. “Hmmm…the only notable individual that comes to mind is Lady Benezia. She’s an Asari Matriarch who arrived a few-

 

“Benezia?!” Liara exclaimed. “She’s here?!”

 

“Sorry for the interruption…” Shepard apologized awkwardly. “Liara is…close to Benezia.”

 

“I am deeply sorry, Miss Parasini”, Liara blurted out even more awkwardly, while her cheeks slowly turned purple. “I did not intend to interrupt you.” 

 

“Is Benezia still here?” Shepard inquired. “May we see her?”

 

“She is at the Peak Fifteen research facility”, Gianna answered. “As far as I know, she should still be there; however, I cannot authorize you to travel there. Only Administrator Anoleis can give you authorization. Would you like me to make an appointment for you?”

 

“Yes, please”, Shepard beamed.

 

“Very well”, Gianna smiled. “Usually an appointment would only be available for you in a week or two, but seeing as you are here on Citadel business, I may be able to move you up the waiting list. Please come see me at his office upstairs, and I will see what I can do.” Shepard thanked Gianna again and the group entered the elevator. 

 

“I cannot believe she is here!” Liara exclaimed again.

 

“You seem happy!” Shepard commented.

 

“Quite the contrary, Commander”, Liara deflected. “I am actually quite nervous and confused. I have not seen my mother in years, and a reunion would be very difficult, even under better circumstances. I cannot forget she may be working with Saren, and I must always remember that. She is my mother, but she may also be the enemy, which is why I am so confused. I do not know how I should feel.” 

 

“Don’t worry, Liara”, Kaidan reassured, as he subtly moved a few inches closer to Shepard, almost close enough for their shoulders to touch. “By the time we find her, you’ll know.” 

 

_Real smooth, Kaidan…I wonder if Liara is noticing Kaidan’s subtle advances._

 

Shepard returned the gesture and moved slightly closer to Kaidan, so that their hips were now touching. Liara definitely noticed that movement, and she quickly blushed and turned her attention to the glass elevator doors. Slade rolled his eyes and opened his omnitool.

 

_Yeah…real subtle…_

 

/

 

Commander Zoey Shepard was not surprised when she found proof of Anoleis’ corruption. She decided not to believe everything Lorik Qui’in had told her, but she had her suspicions and was happy to be proven correct. 

 

“This OSD has a record of every single bribe and extortion Anoleis had his hands in”, Zoey announced. “I’m impressed. Qui’in must be very, very resourceful to be able to scrounge all this together.” 

 

“Well, obviously not resourceful enough, though”, Slade muttered. “After all, Anoleis still found out about it. If Qui’in was resourceful, he wouldn’t need us to fight through guards in order to rescue his OSD. He’s good, but not THAT good…”

 

“True enough”, Zoey shrugged. “Anyway, let’s get outta here before more guards show up.” Zoey led the way out of Qui’in’s office and was almost at the stairs, before Sergeant Stirling and a group of guards came up the stairs and cut them off. Stirling and her guards primed their weapons, causing Zoey’s squad to do the same. 

 

“Well, well, well”, Stirling taunted. “What do we have here?”

 

“Ummm…I can explain…” Zoey stuttered. 

 

“No need”, Stirling growled. “Anoleis sends his regards. Open fire!” 

 

_Crap._

 

Zoey raised a biotic backlash shield with her left arm and took aim with her Carnifex in her right hand. Including Stirling, there were five armed hostiles blocking her way to the stairs. Liara had taken cover behind a hydroponics unit, Kaidan had raised his own biotic backlash, while Slade had taken up a firing position behind her shield and was already shooting at the guards. By the time Zoey had lined up her shot, Slade had already placed a bullet into a guard’s head, and Liara had violently thrown another into a wall and killed them, reducing the hostile count to three. Stirling glowed with a blue aura and charged towards Zoey — she was a biotic — which increased her potential threat as an opponent. Stirling shattered Zoey’s backlash, but her barrier remained unhindered, which bought her some time to launch a counterattack. The force of the charge knocked the left side of Zoey’s body off balance, but she used the unplanned momentum to turn her body around and aim a roundhouse kick at Stirling’s neck with her left leg; however, Stirling reacted fast enough to block the kick with her arms and Zoey’s boot glanced off harmlessly. Stirling then pulled a combat knife out of its sheath and prepared to stab Zoey’s exposed side, but she stumbled backwards as her barrier absorbed a biotic throw from Kaidan. He then dropped his Lancer and tackled Stirling to the ground, extending his omniblade as they tumbled downwards. 

 

“THEY’RE BIOTICS!” Roared one of the guards. “WE NEED HELP! GET UP HERE!” She then leaped out of cover and aimed her rifle, but Zoey anticipated her attack and shot her in the neck before she could fire. 

 

“Reinforcements are coming up the stairs, Commander!” Slade shouted over the bursts of his Lancer. Before Zoey could react, Stirling kicked Kaidan off the ground and he slammed into Liara, causing them both to crumple to the floor. She then fired her shotgun at Zoey, and although her barrier and shields were more than enough to block the volley of shrapnel, the force of the shot threw her backwards into the ground, almost knocking Slade over the railing of the second floor. Slade regained his balance and hurled a biotic throw at Stirling, but her barrier was still strong enough to absorb the attack, leaving her untouched. Before Slade or Stirling could make another move, a small disc shaped object flew over the railing and landed between Stirling and Shepard. 

 

“You fucking idiots!” Stirling managed to say before the object exploded in a flash of green light and Zoey fell to her knees, gasping in pain. Her vision had gone green and blurry — as if she had night vision goggles on her eyes — while her head felt like it was going to explode inside her helmet. The room felt like it was spinning uncontrollably and the overwhelming sense of nausea brought Zoey to the brink of vomiting. Zoey gasped for breath and gritted her teeth in agony as her stomach lurched along with her debilitating headache. 

 

_Damping Grenade! Fuck!_

 

The damping grenade was definitely non-lethal; however, it temporarily disabled biotic abilities and affected any individual sensitive to mass effect fields, resulting in agonizing discomfort for all Biotics. Zoey struggled to get to her feet and prepare to meet the reinforcements, but was completely at the mercy of the damping effects. She looked around and quickly attempted to grasp her situation. Stirling was also on her knees and struggling to rise up to her feet and continue fighting. Liara was vomiting uncontrollably and Kaidan writhed around on the floor, spasming in pain. Zoey slowly turned to look behind her to find Slade, who was lying on the ground completely still, without moving whatsoever: the damping grenade must have knocked him unconscious. 

 

_This isn’t good…_

 

“Co…Co…Commander…” Kaidan croaked through gritted teeth. “Shepard! Your…your Lancer!” Zoey tried to pull out her rifle from the holster on her back, but was unable to reach without causing herself to dry heave in pain. Kaidan mustered his remaining strength and kicked his Lancer over to her. “Commander…” Kaidan breathed. “I’m…I’m sorry.” Kaidan then immediately went limp and stopped moving. 

 

_KAIDAN!_

 

Zoey attempted to rush to his side, but was violently thrown backwards and she slammed into the ground, causing another wave of pain to crash over her head. Stirling then climbed over her and clamped her hands over Zoey’s throat, then tightened her grip and began to strangle her. 

 

“I don’t need biotics to kill you!” Stirling spat. “Besides, this is more fun!” Zoey tried her best to push her off and flail her arms at Stirling’s head, but her grip did not cease. Zoey’s vision was steadily blacking out and it was only a matter of time before she suffocated. 

 

_Come on, Zoey! Do something!_

 

Zoey struggled once more, but was unsuccessful yet again and only brought herself closer to losing consciousness. 

 

“Just…DIE!” Stirling hissed. “Why…won’t…you…d-

 

Stirling gasped and spasmed as Slade rushed forward, driving his omniblade into her chest. She released her grip and Zoey rolled onto her side gasping desperately for air. She caught a glimpse of the reinforcements charging out of the stairwell and knew her squad was not ready to meet them: Zoey needed to do something in order to buy time. She forced herself to her knees and saw four guards take aim with their weapons. Zoey desperately darted herself forward to Kaidan’s Lancer, but Slade was slightly faster and snatched it off the ground before she could reach. He unloaded the thermal clip into the group of guards, but most of his shots missed, and the ones that managed to find a target were deflected by kinetic shields. Slade’s accuracy was affected by the damping effect; furthermore, he dropped the assault rifle as it overheated and vented its thermal sink, meaning the damping was definitely affecting him. Zoey grabbed the Lancer off the floor and waited for the thermal sink to reinitialize. Slade’s spray of gunfire may not have hurt anything, but it forced their opponents into cover, which did buy the squad some time. Slade slumped over and leaned against the railing, then pulled his Paladin out and charged it, giving Zoey a brief nod. Liara had also managed to take a firing position with her pistol and although she looked on the brink of losing consciousness, she also nodded. 

 

_Alright. If we don’t pull this off, we’re dead. No pressure._

 

Zoey hurled an omnigrenade towards the hydroponics unit in the centre of the second floor landing. Her aim was definitely thrown off by the damping, but she accomplished her goal: two of the guards had dived out of their cover to avoid the explosion. Slade emptied his thermal clip into one of the guards, resulting in a splash of blood confirming he got his mark; however, Slade now needed to reload and was useless in the firefight until he did. Liara took a few shots at the other turian guard, but missed all of them, allowing the guard to get to his feet. Zoey fired a burst from her Lancer and watched the guard clutch his leg and fall down, screaming in pain. 

 

_Two down, two to go._

 

The two remaining guards rushed forwards, firing their rifles as they closed in. Liara slumped back behind her cover, avoiding the hail of bullets, but Zoey’s only option was evading and relying on her shields to deflect any shots that hit her. She rolled to her left, wincing as her headache throbbed painfully, and readied another burst with the Lancer. Zoey heard Slade shuffling on the floor behind her, then felt her Lancer on her back get pulled out of its magnetic holster. 

 

_Good. Taking my rifle was probably a safer bet than trying to reload._

 

Zoey grabbed the railing next to her with her left hand and yanked herself up, leaning her body against it and taking aim with the rifle. One of the guards was checking on the wounded turian, while the other was advancing on her and quickly reacted by shooting at her. Zoey’s shields broke and she felt a couple of shots graze her shoulder, but she also fired her gun, managing to break the guards shields. Liara took advantage of the guard’s exposed flank and fired her pistol, landing her shots perfectly. The other guard stopped tending to the turian and raised her rifle, now worried that she was the only one remaining. She retreated to the back of the landing and ducked behind an overturned table. Slade yanked a nutritional ration bar out of his belt and threw it towards the guard’s hiding spot, causing Zoey to raise an eyebrow in confusion. 

 

“Grenade out!” Slade yelled. The guard sprinted out of her cover in panic, dashing towards the stairs, but Slade must have anticipated her movement, and sprayed a volley of bullets in her direction. Most of the shots peppered the wall harmlessly, but a splatter of blood and the sound of a body falling down the stairs meant he had hit his mark. 

 

“Nice thinking, Slade!” Zoey praised, but she quickly gasped as she turned around to see Slade slumped against the railing with a small puddle of blood next to him. “Slade!” Zoey rushed to his side, ready to apply a dose of medigel. “Liara, make sure Kaidan is okay!” Liara nodded and quickly began inspecting Kaidan’s unconscious body. Zoey applied medigel to Slade’s leg, which was bleeding mildly and seemed to have taken a few shots. “When did you get shot?!” 

 

“Remember when you rolled outta the way?” Slade chuckled. “Yeah, the reason that worked and you didn’t get shot was because they were aiming for me, and I didn’t move in time to dodge.”

 

“Ugh”, Zoey sighed. “Well it doesn’t look bad at all. The medigel should have you back to one hundred percent. You’re lucky.” 

 

“Save some for yourself”, Slade said as he pointed to Zoey’s shoulder, which was also bleeding. She must have been hyped up on adrenaline and did not feel the pain yet.

 

_Oh. So that guard did manage to score a hit._

 

BANG

 

Zoey jumped in shock as Slade fired the Lancer, then grabbed her own and quickly turned around to see what he was shooting at. The wounded turian guard was now lifelessly swimming in a pool of blue blood. 

 

“We almost forgot about him”, Slade commented. 

 

“Almost”, Zoey emphasized. “How’s Kaidan, Liara?”

 

“He is okay, Commander”, Liara reported. “He fell unconscious. I think the damping grenade affected him more seriously than us, because of his L2 implants.”

  

“Damn it”, Zoey swore. “At least he’s okay. Slade, didn’t you also pass out after that damping grenade went off?”

 

“Hey, whoa”, Slade countered. “I did not ‘pass out’. It was just too painful to move, so I didn’t move. I was conscious, don’t worry about me…” 

 

“Whatever”, Zoey teased. “Anyway, I think the damping is finally starting to wear off. Let’s get Kaidan out of here before more guards show up.”

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Act I : Chapter XXI

Act I : Chapter XXI

 

Noveria, Port Hanshan 

 

Slade Jordan had seen enough corporate bureaucracy and espionage to last a lifetime, so he was strangely happy to have murderous Geth shooting at him; after all, the damn robots weren’t trying to extort his life savings from him. Slade was almost disappointed when the last Geth trooper crumpled lifelessly to the floor. 

 

“Clear!” Kaidan called out. The vehicle garage had impressive acoustics and Kaidan’s voice echoed four or five times before it finally died out. 

 

“Echo!” Shepard laughed as she slung her Lancer into its holster on her back. Her echos were interrupted by a familiar voice.

 

“Commander Shepard!”

 

The squad turned towards the garage entrance to see Captain Matsuo approaching with a squad of guards. 

 

“Please tell me what exactly happened here, and why I shouldn’t arrest all of you right now?” Matsuo demanded. 

 

“Alright”, Shepard giggled. “Who would like to volunteer for explaining everything to Captain Matsuo? Three, two, one, NOT IT!” 

 

“NOT IT!” Kaidan and Slade exclaimed simultaneously. The squad looked at Liara, chuckling at the very confused expression she wore on her face.

 

“Did…did I miss something?” Liara asked. 

 

“Not at all, Liara”, Shepard laughed. “Please explain what happened to Captain Matsuo.” 

 

“Very well…” Liara said cautiously. “I apologize for any inconvenience, Captain Matsuo, but we only acted in self defence; after all, the Geth did fire the first shot. We did not ask for a firefight.” 

 

“Geth?” Matsuo scoffed. “Geth?! Do you really expect me to-

 

“Captain!” A turian guard interrupted Matsuo and she looked over to her. “They’re not lying. Look at this.” Matsuo walked over to the inactive Geth unit being inspected by the turian and returned to face Shepard a few moments later. 

 

“This doesn’t make any sense”, Matsuo scowled. “We scan everything that enters this port. There’s no way in hell those things could make it inside without someone noticing. This is not good… If word of this gets out to the public…there might be an investor panic and a formal investigation…”

 

“In case you didn’t already know”, Slade sneered. “Half your security force is corrupt. This was probably an inside job. One of your officers must have ‘overlooked’ something while they were counting their bribe credits, and those Geth just waltzed in.”

 

“And what proof do you have to support your accusation?” Matsuo countered aggressively. 

 

“How well did you know Sergeant Stirling?” Slade taunted. 

 

“Slade…” Shepard warned.

 

“It’s quite convenient that you mentioned her”, Matsuo spat. “Her body was found in one of the offices, and a culprit has yet to be apprehended…but I’m sure you know all about that. Isn’t it strange that a Spectre and her team arrives, and a few hours later one of my sergeants is dead?”

 

“What are you insinuating?” Slade demanded. 

 

“You’re not as stupid as you look”, Matsuo growled. “I think you know exactly what I’m getting at.”

 

“Slade…” Shepard warned again, slightly more seriously than before.

 

“Hey, listen!” Kaidan said urgently, as he quickly stood in front of Slade to face Matsuo. “Look, I’m sure neither of us wants another fight. How about this… We promise not to breathe a word about the Geth, and in return, you can allow us to go about our business. As soon as we’re done at Peak Fifteen, we’re going to leave Noveria, and we’ll most likely never return. Does that sound fair, Captain?” 

 

_You didn’t need to butt in, Kaidan. I could’ve handled this myself._

 

“Fine”, Matsuo snapped. “Be on your way, and make sure I don’t see any of you again.” 

 

“Thank you, Captain”, Kaidan smiled. He then gently grabbed Slade’s shoulder and steered him away towards the garage exit, and Shepard took the lead again. 

 

“That was stupid, Slade”, Shepard scolded. “Things could have gotten ugly. Why are you always looking for a fight, when it would be so much easier to avoid one?” Slade chose to remain silent instead of replying, but Kaidan spoke for him once again. 

 

“Come on, everyone”, Kaidan sighed. “What’s done is done. There’s no point debating it, let’s just focus on the mission ahead and be glad things worked out.” Shepard silently nodded and continued walking on ahead, as Slade rolled his eyes inside his helmet. 

 

_If anyone else said something like that, I bet she would’ve had something to say in response. I guess it’s okay when KAIDAN does it._

 

/

 

Commander Zoey Shepard had lost her patience a while ago, and was now on the brink of uncensored rage. 

 

“Commander?” Kaidan called out, his voice echoing around the small shaft Zoey was standing inside. “Is everything okay down there?”

 

“Yeah!” Zoey answered. “I’m just…ummm…taking my time, so I don’t mess something up!” 

 

“Ah, crap”, Slade groaned. “Get comfy. We’re gonna be here a while.”

 

Zoey wanted to shoot a witty remark back at Slade, but she silently agreed with him: they were going to be here a while. She was feeling far too proud and was unable to ask Kaidan for help, or radio Tali on the Normandy. Peak Fifteen’s VI core was running on emergency back-up power, but the core needed to be manually reinitialized. Zoey sat inside a cramped maintenance shaft in the VI mainframe, and was attempting to reroute the emergency power for almost half an hour. Not only were her legs and shoulders sore from remaining in such an uncomfortable position, but her patience had now run out. Zoey painfully squeezed her hand into her belt, and yanked out the only omnigel canister she was carrying.

 

_This is all we have. This patch-job will probably end up using all of the omnigel. So…Do I admit defeat and ask for help…or use our only supply of omnigel?…Fuck it!_

 

Zoey popped open the canister and slathered the entire power panel with the gel inside. As she predicted, all of the omnigel was required to cover the entire panel; however, the core was soon engulfed in green light, and Zoey breathed a long sigh of relief. She quickly tucked the empty canister into a crevice in the shaft and activated the small elevator, smiling underneath her helmet as she rose up to her squad. 

 

“Wow”, Slade mocked. “You actually did it?” 

 

“Of course!” Zoey smirked. “Did you actually doubt me?”

 

“No, ma’am!” Slade muttered. “Not at all, whatsoever…” Slade then reached into his belt, pulled out a small credit chit, and casually handed it over to Kaidan. 

 

“Pleasure doing business with you”, Kaidan teased. 

 

“Wait!” Zoey demanded. “Did you two bet on whether I could fix the VI?!” 

 

“Commander!” Liara exclaimed. “Please forgive me for interrupting, but the VI is working! Look!” Liara pointed to the mainframe behind Zoey and she turned around to see a holographic projection of a human female. 

 

"It looks like you're trying to restore this facility”, she said in a monotone voice. “Would you like help?”

 

“Thanks for the distraction, Liara!” Slade whispered. Zoey rolled her eyes and focused on the VI in front of her. 

 

_I miss Slade when he was awkward and quiet… now, he’s a troublemaker… I feel like this is somehow my fault…_

 

/

 

“We should’ve brought Tali along too…” 

 

Slade Jordan silently agreed with Kaidan, but was more preoccupied with keeping an eye on the swarm of insect creatures trapped in the decontamination chamber. There were at least three of the bigger ones and a multitude of the tiny, scuttling bastards. He did not want to admit it, but the creatures completely unnerved Slade, and he dreaded the idea of opening the door. 

 

“Unfortunately, Tali is not here”, Liara said without looking up from the control panel. “So we must find a way to succeed without her.” She and Kaidan had been tampering with the controls to the decontamination chamber for a few minutes while Shepard and Slade had been keeping an eye on the bugs locked inside the chamber. The control panel had malfunctioned while the power was offline and was now having difficulties rebooting. They needed the decontamination routine to purge the unwanted inhabitants; more importantly, running the decontamination sequence would also open the chamber and allow the squad to proceed to the tram station. Tali would have probably fixed the damned thing in a heartbeat, but Kaidan and Liara needed to bypass the console without her help. Fortunately, the station’s VI - designated ‘Mira’ - gave the squad a plan B in the event they could not run the decontamination sequence. Unfortunately, plan B was to override the chamber doors and allow the creatures to escape, which Slade definitely wanted to avoid at all costs.

 

“How’s it coming along?” Shepard inquired. “Please don’t tell me that we need to play exterminator and flush them out ourselves…” 

 

“I can’t see any way to bypass the console, Commander”, Kaidan admitted. “It really looks like we might have to do this the hard way.”

 

“Wait a moment”, Liara muttered. “I think we might be able to bypass the console with a moderate amount of omnigel. If we assume the console is halted in the ‘off’ setting, then if we apply omnigel to the control module, it should switch to the ‘on’ setting.” 

 

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea”, Kaidan praised. “It just might work, Commander. In any case, I don’t see any other option available to us. Let’s go with Liara’s idea! Would you mind passing us the omnigel, Commander?”

 

“Ummm…” Shepard stammered. “See…here’s the thing…well…ummm…I didn’t bring any omnigel…” 

 

“What?!” Slade burst out. “We triple check all our gear before we leave the Normandy, and then Ashley double checks on top of that! How did we manage to find ourselves without any omnigel?!” 

 

“Hey, it’s not my responsibility to always have omnigel on me!” Shepard deflected. 

 

“Actually, it is!” Slade pressed. “You’re the squad leader! You’ve always been the one carrying the omnigel! How do you not have any?!” 

 

“I must admit, it’s kinda strange Commander”, Kaidan commented. “I mean, you’ve always carried omnigel, even when we didn’t need it. Why do you suddenly not have any?” 

 

“Kaidan, if you don’t believe me, you can come here and pat me down yourself”, Shepard said as she held her arms up. “I’m telling you guys, I don’t have any omnigel!” 

 

“Please, everyone, now is not the time to be fighting among ourselves!” Liara called out. Everyone had stopped talking and looked over to her. “This is obviously a stressful situation, but pointing fingers at one another will not solve our predicament! Commander Shepard believes she does not possess any omnigel, and I believe her; however, I also remember seeing a canister of omnigel on the armoury table as we were preparing to leave the Normandy. This means that one of us must be in possession of that canister, so I suggest we all calmly search our belongings until we locate it.” 

 

“I think that’s a great idea, Liara”, Kaidan smiled. “Any objections? Commander?” 

“Well…” Shepard said nervously. “Let’s just hope ONE of us actually DOES have it…” The squad formed a circle and slowly inspected all their gear. Slade was sure to check both his utility belt and the various pouches over his armour. After a few minutes - and a double check for good measure - Slade was certain he did not have the canister of omnigel. 

 

“I am quite certain I do not have the omnigel canister”, Liara said first. 

 

“Me neither”, Slade added. 

 

“Nor do I”, Kaidan chorused. 

 

“Well…”, Shepard finished. “If I don’t have it either, we’re hosed, aren’t we?” 

 

“How is this possible?” Liara groaned. “I could have sworn I saw the canister before we disembarked the ship!” 

 

“Alright, everyone”, Shepard said as she charged her Lancer. “I guess we’re gonna have to do this the hard way. Get your weapons ready. Liara, get ready to override that door.” Slade sighed and charged his Lancer, following Kaidan out into the hallway, but then immediately turned around to face the Commander. 

 

“Hold up!” Slade shouted. “Commander, how exactly did you get that VI core up and running?!” Kaidan immediately turned around and joined Slade in staring down Shepard, almost as if he had read Slade’s mind. Shepard awkwardly shuffled her feet and looked towards the wall at the back of the room. 

 

“Ummm…what exactly are you insinuating, Slade?” Shepard stuttered. 

 

“Oh, Commander…” Liara sighed as she facepalmed her helmet. 

 

“Please, tell me you didn’t use all our omnigel trying to fix the VI!” Slade demanded. Shepard chose to remain silent as she rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. 

 

“Here”, Kaidan said as he pressed something small into Slade’s belt. “Take your credits back.” 


End file.
